I got those!!!!!

ROFL!!!!!!!!

Oops! Could I beg one please Elaine?!

Alsations also know as an Al-get-yeh, on rough housing estates

Here you go Lottie

In my professional opinion she needs bigger ones than that they way she's laughing at this!

Super Super size Do they do them in that size
Elaine x

Oh yes, Tena Comfort, or Tena Flex for those who have trouble changing them, which would be you when you are rolling round on the floor laughing your head off!
Told you I know my Tena's lol

What a fab thread!

I don't think I've laughed so much in ages

Keep going guys!

You certainly know your Tena's me thinks I need a trip to Tesco's or superdrug

Oh please no, no more my poor wee bladder can't take anymore

... sorry elaineb

Dog walking etiquette for DUMMIES

Road walking - Good dogs don't need no leads when walking, they will just follow you. Some breeds will do this naturally, Jack russels and staffys for example. Others need to be trained. Get one of them extending leads and just leave it on loose. Couple of times nearly under a car should learn them.

Fields: As soon as you get on a field let your dog off of its lead. You can take it's collar off here too. They love to run about with other dogs. Just walk off. Your dog will soon worry about you and will find you eventually, once it's done with messin' about with the other dogs on the field and chasing stuff.

Dog Poo: Poo is biodegradable and will magically rot away in a matter of hours! If there are people about it's usually best to pick it up in one of them poo bags. If no one about just leave it. If you have had to pick it up, but you can't see a bin, just chuck it in a bush. Birds like to pick these up and roof their nests with them, so it's not littering or nuthing. Poo in long grass or under the bushes is not a problem, no one walks there. You only have to pick up poo on paths and pavements anyway.

Little dogs. If you have one of them little dogs, then you need to hoik em up and launch them on to your shoulder if a big dog comes over. If the big dog don't go away, just hold the little dog higher and scream for the big dogs owner.

Aggressive dogs - If your dog is aggressive, you have two choices. Put them on a big heavy chain and haul them around the field. Or just let them off and shout to the owner of any dog he attacks that your dog "Is Just playin'"

Other people's dogs - If you have a big dog, you have nothing to fear from other people's dogs if you have one of them Little dogs, then see 'little dogs'. Give all dogs that come up to you lots of fuss and handfuls of treats. Their owner is sure not to mind.

Other dog walkers - Dog walkers come in three main types.

Dummies: Probably okay with anything you or your dog does short of actual maiming. If your lucky you can meet up with a few other Dummies on the field and let your dogs roam about in a pack.

Fussy women and posh blokes: Often wearing big coats and stuff and have their dogs like all smart and trained and stuff, dog might be on lead even in a field, best to be avoided, just walk over the other side of the field and pretend not to hear them if they shout at you to get your dog or anything. They also often pack together and have lots of dogs playing about which can be mistaken for a pack of dummies. Difference is that when you approach they will call their dogs and magically snap them all to heel... It's a trap! Just walk away!

Angry people: Sometimes look like the Fussy women or posh blokes, but can look like Dummies. Angry people just come on the field to have a go. They'll shout at you over the stupidest thing, not picking up your dog's poo, your dog playing a bit heavy with their dog, or even just your dog running off and stuff. If you haven't got one of them Hard dogs that you can threaten them with just ignore them.