Homesick & torn........what to do?

I've got it really bad lately that I am soooooooo homesick. I left Liverpool 24 years ago to live down here. Married, had kids,divorced, re married. My hub is from Chester & doesn't particulary want to move back up North but also hates it here & so neither of us have family here & we miss a lot of occasions (I have quite a big family) My parents don't come down any more due to ill health & I'm really worried about my mum who is slowly losing her marbles. Although she has my dad & brothers/relatives, I am the only daughter & I know if & when anything happens I will be so full of regret that I didn't see that much of them in their final years.
Then there's my kids - born & bred down South & loving it.
I always said I would stick it here until they were grown up. Well the eldest lives with his dad, the middle one will be going to Uni next year (not sure where yet but probably local) and the youngets is due to leave school next year & go to college but has plans to move in with her boyfriend. ( but she's only 16 so we won't even try to tell her it aint gonna last!)
Obviously I would love it if they came too - but it would break my heart to leave them behind, even though they are going have there own lives & do what they want, so I feel next year is the time. I can't stress how much I dislike it here, including the people come accross/ so called back stabbing friends. I've distanced myself from most people who p*ss me off. Hub hates his job so & is warming to the idea, it doesn't have to be Liverpool or Chester - anywhere within an hour of mum would be great - but I just feel so torn about the kids & miserable.

Have you spoken to the kids about it? I'm sure they would hate that you felt so miserable. They are starting out with their own lives now and you won't be far away.

I can understand you feeling so torn, it's a tough one.

I was living in Newcastle when my mum, and later my dad became ill, so I know how you feel. What I did was plan regular trips back. You can get cheap train / plane flights if you shop around. I used to go up for a weekend about once a month. That way I kept in touch and was able to help with the caring.

I mentioned it a few years ago & they were both adamant they didn't want to move away or have to change schools.
I haven't mentioned it recently. I've probably shot myself in the foot as I've spent ages convincing my son it would be better to go to the local uni (coz I don't want him to leave me!!) he hasn't decided yet & is also looking at Southhampton& even thing about Exeter!! so I've ordered him a prospectus for Liverpool Uni. When his friend was round the other day & I asked where he was going he commented that part of the fun of uni was living away from home - so it's possible I could use that & steer him up North, even live in uni digs if he wants.
As for daughter - I'm pretty sure she would want to stay here - she does have her dad her & his family. I just can't bear the thought though! Eldest son works for his dad so he wouldn't come. But if we are going to do it next year would be the perfect time & I would have to start looking into things now, like jobs for a start, the house - do we sell/ rent it out & rent up North until we are sure etc..
I feel really selfish - who in their right mind would want to leave their kids & hub says it's not the right time to a) sell a house and b) find a job!!......... it's all doing my head in & the more I ponder the thought, the more I hate it here.

I know what you are saying and it's probably not all about my parents,also the fact that I have nobody here - other than being surrounded by 2 faced people from my previous life. I've practically cut myself off from everybody I know & become 2 faced myself by tolerating them when I have to, when I feel like saying to them stay out of my life!
God I'm a miserable cow today!!

Okay....I do understand how you feel. HUgs.

Two things strike me about your posts (hope you don't mind me saying this),first...my parents moved away when I moved to Uni (a Uni I chose because it was closish to them...) They moved to London to be near my sister. Miles and miles from me. I found it exceptionally difficult. I went to uni from my family home and went home for the first holiday to somewhere that I knew absolutely no one. I hated it and in all honesty I still feel quite resentful of them doing it. Just my experience of something similar.

Second...sounds more like discontent with people you know now. How about you join a couple of groups that interest you and see about making new friends there? Perhaps a dog club....or other activities that you like....perhaps if you made new friends there you would feel lots better?

Stockton Heath is very nice!

Okay I am guessing a move would be good but it sounds like you need to discuss it with your O/H, and then if you decide to move your kids (as Ramble pointed out some things you kids may feel negative about) then not rush into it you have tolerated it this long but if your O/H, kids and you can agree on somewhere then start looking for jobs in the area you want and apply for them before moving.
Good luck on your decision,
Emma

Yes I'd hate my kids to feel resentful.
You are probably right about discontent with people too - especially when there's no getting away from them & I've been trying for years! I'm not overly bothered about making new friends, I'm happy with me lil dog! hub & the kids.
Also getting back to mum - I do worry about her big time. I feel it's my duty to be there for her & I want to be.
I didn't think of all this when I was 19 & declared I was "off to London to find a job!!"

I know what you mean. It's hard to have an ill parent when they are far away...hugs.
Sadly my dad got very ill just after I had my son.He died 8 months after I'd had him. I didn't get to see him really. Too far away. I was also the world most paranoid new mum going.....so wouldn't travel with my son, nor would I leave him..plus I was really ill after having him. Nightmare. I do understand exactly where you are coming from....but then I also understand where your kids would be coming from if they stay put, you move away and then....years down the line....you get ill.....

Can you not up your visits up North as someone else suggested? Go and see you mum more frequently? Especially as your children are older and could understand that?