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moo
Dogsey Senior
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07-05-2004, 11:21 AM

Differences Between Men and Women

NAMES:

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:

A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:

A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS:

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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Carole
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07-05-2004, 11:47 AM
:smt042 :smt043 :smt042
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eRaze
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07-05-2004, 11:55 AM
lol 1
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Daft Brush
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07-05-2004, 08:08 PM
A man also knows that the first rule in any relationship is:

Admitt when you are wrong
And say nothing when you are right.

After all.... A woman is never wrong is she??? :smt009 :smt047
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eRaze
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07-05-2004, 08:17 PM
lol sshhh DB or we'll get ganged on again like last night
(or is that what you're hoping for?? Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Your crafty bugger (that was meant to be an Alfie Moon impression!)
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liberty
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07-05-2004, 09:27 PM
I heard that :smt027
Anyway, how can one of me gang up on 2 of you :smt019

liberty :smt042
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Daft Brush
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07-05-2004, 09:44 PM
So the sisterhood doesn't really exist then Libs! :smt043

Us blokes are brothers in arms :smt027
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eRaze
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07-05-2004, 09:55 PM
Libs we'll b nice to u if u've been deserted
Cos u was nice to me last night when I was all alone
(cos DB left me to fight by myself!)
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liberty
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07-05-2004, 09:55 PM
:smt016 :smt019 :smt016 :smt019

liberty :smt090
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eRaze
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07-05-2004, 09:58 PM
aww it's ok dont :smt088

we'll be nice to ya, let's have a :smt113 :smt041 (party without the bday!)
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