Help! I need to plaster a ceiling....

Don't ask!
I now have a small bag of plaster which just needs making up with water, a diamond shaped trowel, and every intention to make good a ceiling which my lovely (not! ) builder left with tape exposed and bits of filler here and there.
Any advice??????
How much water, ie what should be the consistency of the plaster, and more importantly ....
how do I make it stick to the ceiling and not drop onto my head?
If I actually manage it, (which will be a miracle) how soon can it be painted with matt emulsion?

is it Thistle multi-finish ? Knock it up to a runny toothpaste consistancy, but oh says you will need a rectangular trowel, and it could take 1-1.5 days to dry before painting. Any more questions shout and i will ask him x

ps in small letters, he said you need about 20 years experience for it not to drop onto your head good luck x

No idea. It's just a small bag I got in the local hardmongers, can't check as it is 4 miles away at the new house

ok... luckily I have one of those too ....

oh s**t maybe I'll need two bags .....

Oh crikey! I wouldn't touch wall-plastering with a bargepole, never mind ceilings! That's probably not what you want to hear right now, but couldn't you hang on till you can get a pro in to do it for you?

if you get 2 bags you can use the empties to put on your head to keep it out of your hair! Don't worry about a smooth finish, you can emulsion over it and call it a 'farmhouse finish'

No, carpets being laid on Tuesday. Anyway, it was a "pro" who left it in a mess to start with.....
Love it!

Your OH doesn't fancy coming to Bristol and plastering our hall/landing and stairs does he

We've not got a massive hall but we've had quotes ranging from £600 - £2000 one chap said he would do it, he was the best in Bristol.....you know the rubbish they tell you, he wanted £800 labour then WE had to buy all the supplies

I'd just do it yourself and call it 'rustic'
Becky