I really can’t imagine why
It’s become the thing, I cannot lie
To dress us up in human gear
Dresses, tops and worse, I fear
We all have the perfect coat
I’m not sure that all owners note
That should be enough for dogs
Without the need for fancy togs.

Trendy magazines, all ads
For the latest money making fads
Show “celebs” in careful poses
With dogs dressed up just showing noses
Designer gear, from what I see
But how do they manage to, well, pee?
Some think it makes the dog look cute
For me it’s just one long big hoot

My beloved owner thinks it’s rash
To part with large amounts of cash
To dress me up like a hairy dolly
I’m glad, it seems to be a folly
To alter what nature gave to me
It does the job just right you see!
My coat is clean and always shines
Much better than any designer lines.

And if I find a dog in clothing
I treat it with such scorn and loathing
I’ll grin, and make it feel the pits
Although I can see the eyes are slits
With rays of malice between each blink
Shall I tell it what I really think?
But no, it’s already doomed and hated
And my dear! What it’s wearing is oh so dated!

But as I age it’s becoming clear
I feel the cold with winter near
Some days when the rain is cold and lashing
And the wind is giving me a bashing
Then I’d be glad to be well covered
As long as I’m not completely smothered
Something waterproof, flashy and red
….Now I’ll have to eat the words I’ve said!