I just nearly exploded at a child.

And I'm so ashamed, let me explain though.

Someone I know is currently having three extra children in their house, because their mum is rubbish basically, and locked one of her children out of her house the other day until it got dark, the child is eight years old, and they had just moved to a new house, in town right on the main road above a dominos, the child then tried to climb over dominos to get back in, this isn't the first time she has done this, she's also said that she locked him out until midnight before, her excuse, if she didn't lock them out then she'd beat him. This woman has around ten children but only four living with her, the rest in care.

Anyway yesterday I took her kids, and the other persons kids down the lake to feed the birds, the eight year old all od the time was hitting the other children, shouting things at people walking by, sulking because we went to the shops on the way there, he wanted to go on the way back too, if I told one boy not to do something he then started it, he then started saying to one of the others that he could go back to his mums whenever he wanted.

This morning from the second I went round there he's been shouting, telling the other children to kick me, hitting the others throwing toys, when everyones told to do something he wont do it, but he will go throw the cupboards and get something to eat instead, and then I asked him to clean up some football cards that he had thrown around, he then started shouting at me, whenever I tried to get him out of the room he would wind up one of the other boys, he would be shouting calling me a bitch all sorts, for ten minutes I was asking him to go and have a time out away from everyone else, and he just kept getting worse and worse until I had to leave as otherwise I would of just lost it with him theres only so many times you can be called a bitch and other things without responding, but how on earth do you punish a child whose old punishment was beatings and being locked out, if you do get him to go somewhere else to calm down he carries on shouting throwing things and breaking things, he keeps telling younger children to do things that would get them into trouble and is the biggest pain ever, personnally I wouldn't have him, but then that would be selfish as otherwise he wouldn't have anywhere, her other children are behaving, and its not his fault that he's had the life that he has, but how on earth do you get a boy like him to behave? No-one knows how long the children are going to be staying where they are, and theres no way that he can be behaving like this all the time that he is there, as all thats going to happen is him wind up all the other children, and five young boys misbehaving would be a nightmare.

I understand your frustration. The poor boy has had an awful time of it by the sounds of it. I think they need help...

Someone I know is currently having three extra children in their house, because their mum is rubbish basically, and locked one of her children out of her house the other day until it got dark,

I`d be straight on the phone to Social Services, personally.

Anyway yesterday I took her kids, and the other persons kids down the lake to feed the birds, the eight year old all od the time was hitting the other children,

I`d have taken him straight back. If you don`t teach rules and consequences, you are approving and reinforcing the behaviour.

This morning from the second I went round there he's been shouting,

I`d have left at the first insult

how on earth do you punish a child whose old punishment was beatings and being locked out,

You don`t. You remain calm, explain what you are going to do (sanction) and then do it. No ifs or buts.

You can`t change this child`s behaviour generally, but you can insist on civilised behaviour to you. It`s a start.

As C&D says. Why are you looking after them btw?

They do need help, their mums a lowlife, and she knows how I feel.

Social services now, in the past few days they've been in contact with everyone, the woman shouldn't of actually had any children, she's been told that if she lives on her own she can't keep any, but she moved out, and then this happened before socail services did anything, and now they are round this persons house, unfornatly I couldn't leave at that point either, as I was having to look after them, but I am going to say that I'm not going to look after this one again until he behaves better.

I was at that point.

Sounds like the Foster children we have.

Children can not behave the way you would expect if they have had no proper parenting, infact in thier eyes they are behaving quite normally.

Without imput of anger management, and boundries he won't know any better.

Not making excuses but the way we look at some of the challanging behaviour children we have is....if I took a rescue dog that had been left to do its own thing, or had been beating and abused, I wouldn't expect it to come here and abide by my rules being on its best behaviour.
The child we have at the moment has been here almost 2 years and is only just adearing to our rules...and then he tries to push them at times.
Our boy has been let down by parenting, and lashes out at me, why shouldn't he, after all everyone else has let him down, so why should I be any different to all of them.

Its all about trust building and being friends....and thats a long weary road, but we get there in the end I am sure someone will with him too

Jeez i feel sorry for the poor kid he must be so confused right now. But there is no way on this world i could put up with that, im not children savvy, they drive me mad

sorry you were treated with such disrespect, i would have told him what a nasty little boy he was and then gone.

I'm a bit confused. Why are you looking after these kids? Surely you don't have to or even want to when they are as bad as they are! Is it your job or something? If not, it's not your problem or responsibility. I can't believe you choose to be around brats like this!

I would be contacting Social Services ASAP and the Police and would never be taking them out again! Sounds like the current children need removed from her "care" or this boy is only going to get worse and be an ever greater danger to himself and others and be yet another thug roaming the streets.

Sounds the like the mother should be sterilised and not allowed to have any more kids!

I agree that the mother should be sterilised but its a tad late for that now she has 10 kids ! - i posted a response to a thread on a similar situation recently.

Chaz how are you involved in this ? are you friends with the mother ? or are you involved in a professional capacity ?

Its obviously not the childrens fault, as a few others have said the mother hasn't got a clue and sounds like she doesn't give a toss about them. Unfortunately as usual with this sort of people its left to everyone else to take responsiblity. These people should never have children imo its not fair on the kids who after all are innocent.

I would probably do what you are doing for the kids sake, as i said its not their fault, they haven't been taught how to behave properly and they are only copying how they have been treated.

I think social services should be involved here, you can't cope with all that on your own, although i admire you for it. The mother won't care as long as the kids are not bothering her. No father around then i take it ? or fathers ?
What about their family, i.e. grandparents ?