Advice please

My collie cross was killed two months ago. I was pregnant at time and felt unwell(I later miscarried) so my partner took our two dogs out. Jake must have been spooked by golfers and ran home but although he got across the road someone tried to catch him and he ran back into the road and was run over. I got Jake aged ten months and had him for only four years. He was the most perfect dog. If I'd been with him it wouldn't have happened as he always ran to me. The bond between us was so strong, that I still can't believe it happened and I'm still deeply grieving. I could write a book about Jake but my questions are, as I live in a built up area, is it fair to get another collie? We have plenty of countryside around and I run cross country so want a highish energy dog. I honestly believe Jake was happy, he had no destructive behaviour, was calm and relaxed except when he heard fireworks, loud bangs and golf balls being hit. I always took him very early in morning to avoid golfers but my partner took them later that particular day.
Part of me feels I don't want another dog but Polly our staffie is lonely and I am too. I also feel that with so many dogs in rescue it seems mean not to give one a good home.
I have seen a dog I'm drawn too, a collie but I'm worried I'm trying to recreate what I had with Jake and also whether a collie would be ok in this environment. I think Jake had plenty of mental stimulation as he had his jobs to do which he relished. Sorry for long rambling post but if anyone's got any thoughts I'd appreciate it, thanks

I have 2 collies but live on the outskirts of town rather than a big city. Both are pretty sensitive to traffic and one goes to pieces when she hears fireworks, thunder etc (yet birdscarers dont bother her!) I was told she was originally from a farm in Ireland yet town life doesnt seem to overly bother her.

I know some collies dont do well in urban areas, they are too sensitive to cope with the noise, the many things requiring herding etc so I think you may have to judge the nature of the particular collie you are interested in.

I think if dogs knew better, (and this has been debated before on this forum) and had a choice then they would almost certainly choose rural life but they arent capable of such thoughts and so what they dont know they wont miss but it sounds like your dog will be fulfilled anyway.

As for trying to recreate what you had with Jake, you cant. Each dog has their own personality and cannot fill the paws of another so you have to go into this with a mind clear of comparisons otherwise you will be doing your new addition an injustice.

Im so sorry to hear of your double loss, your baby and your beloved Jake.

I wont offer advice - except to say you sound like the ideal owner for a high energy dog - I will let the Collie folk comment

Whatever you do, good luck and try to remember the good times with Jake.

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to your poor dog It was just one of those tragic accidents, who can say whether it would or would not have happened if it had been you with him at the time. I've heard of many stories like this, one with a friend's horse, and she kept blaming herself for many years, because it was another friend who was riding him out that day, so, just like you, she kept asking herself whether it might not have happened if she had been onboard, but nobody knows do they, just a really tragic loss, you have to stop thinking about those "if only's".

It sounds as if there is a place in your heart and room for another, both for you and your current dog so I'd be checking out the local rescues when you feel up to it, there's no reason why not. Yes of course, you'll be wanting to replace him, we have all done that after such a traumatic loss of a dog we adored so much, who felt such a part of us, and if it helps you to carry on feeling that way when you go to the rescue, go with an open heart, there will be one dog there who will be drawn to you as you will be to him, but sadly, no he won't be your dear Jake, but you will love him just as much and he will love you for saving his life. Fate has a strange way of working for us after a loss such as this, so whatever comes your way, don't miss the signs, coz I'm sure Jake will be sending another companion to you to take his place in your heart.

Good luck, when it feels right, just do it!xxxxx

Your post brought tears to my eyes. So sorry for your loss's I really am, it must of been heartbreaking.

We live in Stechford, couldn't get more a built up area, we have a very busy road outside too, and we have 4 BC's, as energetic as BC's get, but with training they (luckily) stay on the drive when I am with them. We like you have to go to fields, nature centres and lickey hills etc., by car, otherwise they would only have the big park up the road.

Your Jake had a happy home, it was a tragic accident which wasn't your fault or your OH's. If you feel the time is right I am sure a rescue would love to have you as owners.....and return your love ten fold.

Best wishes xxxxxx

I'm so sorry to hear what's happened to you.

From what you've said it sounds like you do really want another dog but you're worried about doing it for the wrong reasons.
When I lost Suzi last year I didn't think I could get another then when I decided I didn't want to be without I felt awful about trying to replace her and gradually I realised I wasn't trying to replace her specifically as the hole that was left when she went. Personally I opted for totally different dogs and went for 2 collies. We also live in a built up area and there are plenty of collies around sadly some of them only get lead walks but we drive 15 mins to a country park for ours and it doesn't sound like you're lacking in places to take your dog/s and with your running as well it sounds like a new dog would be lucky to have you!
Do you really think you would be trying to recreate what you had with Jake if you went for this collie or is it just something you're worrying about because you don't want to do the wrong thing? Personally (It's hard as I dont know you so am just trying to read into what you've written) I would have thought that it would be worse if you hadn't considered the possibility that you would be trying to recreate how things were with Jake. You might have rushed into getting another dog and then felt terrible about it.
It's hard to know what to do for the best. I think getting another dog is a very personal thing and only you will know when you're ready. It's been 18 months for me and a can still burst into tears when I remember something! But we got more after 4 months and it felt right for me but obviously the last thing you want is to get another dog and then realise that maybe you weren't ready. I don't know if that actually happens, but it's a worrying thought.
Only you will know when it's time.

I completely agree with Helena & the others ~ you sound like a lovely caring owner & could give another dog a very happy life. No you can't replace Jake, so don't even go there, just decide when & if it's the right time for you & let Polly help you choose her next playmate

So sorry for the loss of your child and your beloved dog. I think it would be sad for you not to have another dog, you are obviously a caring, responsible person, it would be a shame another dog did not experience that. X hugs x

I am sorry to hear about this tragic accident. But that`s what it was - an accident. Your dog could have dashed out of your gate and got knocked down, or a thousand other chance moments that could have taken him from you.
Your next dog will be nothing like your boy. Not even if he`s the same breed, colour and markings. He and you will have a unique relationship, and you will love each other, but it wil not be the same as with any other dog.
Take a chance. Your boy would not have wanted you to be without the love of a dog.
x

Hi Bix, you have had a pretty rough time of it.

You can't replace Jake but when you feel ready you can forge a bond with another dog. I have a great belief that the dogs we have lost will send another dog who they feel can be a part of their family.

A dog that is right will turn up and you will know it is right and you won't have to ask anyone.

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