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tumbleweed
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Location: East sussex
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29-08-2017, 01:47 PM

Interesting stuff !!

English is reputed to be difficult to learn as a second language. However, as shown in these hilarious "complaints", even those born into the language have a difficult time expressing themselves! It's all in the Syntax!!



Maybe if we got funny complaints like these it would not be as irritating!
Only in Britain - Complaints to Councils - Extracts from letters written by council tenants:

1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.
I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path.
My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road.
Every morning at 6 am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.

16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

17. Our kitchen floor is damp
We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of
me every night.

19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
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Besoeker
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29-08-2017, 02:26 PM
I think the standard of written English is appalling - especially on some forums.
Of course, the emergence of social media means we use written communication much more than we did in the past, particularly in casual conversation.

Anyone remember the "Four Candles" sketch? Miscommunication at its best.......
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Losos
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29-08-2017, 09:32 PM
Originally Posted by Besoeker View Post
I think the standard of written English is appalling - especially on some forums.
Of course, the emergence of social media means we use written communication much more than we did in the past, particularly in casual conversation.

Anyone remember the "Four Candles" sketch? Miscommunication at its best.......
Totally agree, I just cannot abide the use of numbers in place of words, and don't get me going on the use of 'American' spelling and if social media has increased the written word surely it's use should be improving not degenerating into a psychodelic concoction of giberish and meaningless slang

Yes, I certainly do remember the 'Four Candles' sketch
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Forgotten
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31-08-2017, 07:01 AM
Please, do tell me more about the "Four Candles" sketch !
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Besoeker
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31-08-2017, 05:09 PM
Originally Posted by Losos View Post
Totally agree, I just cannot abide the use of numbers in place of words, and don't get me going on the use of 'American' spelling and if social media has increased the written word surely it's use should be improving not degenerating into a psychodelic concoction of giberish and meaningless slang

Yes, I certainly do remember the 'Four Candles' sketch
If you mean things like 4U, I agree. I'm an electrical engineer and expressing some terms without the the use of numbers would be cumbersome to say the least.

Abbreviations for units is the norm. Even then, some people you wold expect to know better get that wrong too. It's kW, not Kw.
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Forgotten
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01-09-2017, 02:48 PM
I thought I was a "snob" but pointing the finger at council tenants is a lot further than I would chance my luck! We can all have misfortunes in life and sometimes the council houses can come to many of our rescues.

I do hate the lazy method of texting messages by using just letters and numbers.
I also dislike the way the way the English language is being used and words incorrectly pronounced.

I am sure that my spelling and punctuation is not always correct either!
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Besoeker
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01-09-2017, 05:15 PM
Originally Posted by Forgotten View Post

I am sure that my spelling and punctuation is not always correct either!
As my late, great friend Tommy used to say "the man who never made a mistake never made anything,"
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