and another five , "the next time you wash your neck, wring it " !!. or " you have a ready wit, let me know when it's ready " !! or " have i met you someplace before ? i sometimes get careless where i go " !! or "you have an hourglass figure, pity the sand has settled in the wrong place " !! FINALLY, " the last time i saw a figure like that, it was being milked ".

LMAO, Love it,,,,,peach,

Lottie, I am a nice sort really, you just learn over time in my job to be as sharp as a tack, both verbally and physically

What about,"He was so ugly as a baby his mum had blackoot curtains oan his pram".

OK how about, " he's so ugly i think the midwife slapped the wrong end when he was born "

He was so ugly his maw tied sausages round his neck so the dug would play with him.

a woman drove me to drink, & i never even had the courtesy to thank her !!

If pigs could fly you'd be squadron leader.

" marriage is a great institution, but im not ready to be institutionalised "

If your brain was made of dynamite,you could throw it in the water and it wouldn't cause a ripple.

Hey babe do you mind if you get on your knees and smile like a doughnut