Dictionary for women's personal ads

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No boobs
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay



And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

:smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043

:smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043

Fantastic :smt042

thanks I thought it was good, the part I like the best was
menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
the only thing is I wouldn't have to be menstruating to do this

...............Fantastic

:smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt005 :smt005 Totally awesome,xxxxxxxxxx

ha ha ha :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044 :smt044

AND so very true!!!

P,M,S,F,L That is so accurate xxdk

Very good.........

Hi Phil, stormey would have loved the part of the cricket stump since we carry on about the BEST cricket team which we all know is AUSTRALIA
thanks boobah
isn't it
Hi DK,
I think it blo ody good though I do have a long way to go to match some of Colin's classics
thanks Colin