Supportive Wife

My husband and has decided to join the RAF.

He's been talking about doing it for a long time as has been feeling miserable about his career for ages. It's something he really wants but he was worried about going for it initially.

Now, I will support him 100% in anything he wants to do, but I'm scared. He'll be working in Intelligence so unlikely to ever be called up, but what if he is? I just don't think I could handle that.

Also, it means he'll have to do alot of training and be away ALOT in the first year. We've only just got married and we have the kind of relationship where we spend ALL our time together. It's just how we like it so it'll be so hard.

Nowhere near as hard as him being miserable in his job forever though I realise and it'll be easier to be on my own now I have Woody, but I get so lonely without him and I worry all the time.

God, I sound like a right clingy mess. I'm not, it's just that he's my soul mate and best friend and I just don't work without him. Ahhhhh.

Does anyone get what I mean?!.

my hubby was in the army hun and i used to miss him loads when he went away
but you will build up a network of other wifes/partners/girlfriends who are in the same boat and you will get support from them

pm me if you wanna chat anytime

Rich is in the Navy and did 7 months away. It was tough but we were much stronger at the end of it and when he came back we moved in together.

This year he is currently based 40mins away so commutes but will be on course in September so we will only see each other weekends which I hate but we just make sure we do plenty of stuff together in the time we do have.

Rich was in the navy when I met him so it's always been like this for me. If I can give you one bit of advice is if he is away keep yourself busy! I didn't and I just ended up sat at home on my own drinking most the time and it made it harder. Least this time I'll have the dog to keep me busy and provide some company.

As said in the post above if you ever want to PM me for advice or a moan please do as I found it easier to talk to ppl that werein the same situation as they understood better than some of my friends.

Totally get you, OH was in the Paras when we met. I wont lie and say it was easy but it is do-able.
OH has now joined the RAF Auxilliary and while I am not happy when he goes away, I realise it is important to him and life is too short not to do what you want.
Best of luck with this.

Not sure if i can offer any advice.

My OH is a policemen (not quite the same i know) but he trained away from home after i just had my second baby!
At the time i supported him fully but have to say as time goes on i sometimes wish he hadnt changed jobs, he does a lot of overtime on top of shift work, sometimes i dont see him for days!! Sometimes he misses things the kids do!!

On one hand he has a job for life, pretty well paid and he is happy...how can i complain about that?!
But on the other hand i do miss him having a 9 to 5 job like other people.

That is why i have so many dogs i think, lol!!!

I think it depends on how strong you are as a couple. It is difficult, you have to try not to see it as a problem tho or it can cause resentment.

Good luck to your OH if he goes for it and you x

Thank you so much guys! You've all just made me abit tearful actually as I thought perhaps I was being a wally about worrying.

I mean, he might not even get in (unlikely as he more than meets all the requirements) but I guess it's easier to get it all out now.

We are a VERY strong couple, there is no worry there at all I'll just miss him so much, I mean it;s bad enough when he does a 9-5 and commute if I'm home alone.

I blame our friend Matt. He's a heli' engineer in the RAF and he's put Neil up to it ;o)

Seriously though, I wish him luck and will support him 100%.

Thank you so much for the chats guys and the offers to PM. I might just do that if it's OK, as the stages progress xx

I'm fairly sure I remember Rich saying that RAF lads go away a lot less than other armed forces but I might be wrong and I guess it might depend on the job. Knowing rich he was probably talking about the aircraft engineers as I think there's a bit of rivalry between RAF and Navy!!

On the upside there are some perks to life as a Forces WAG - they get loads of holiday so you get lots of time with them then, when rich did 7 months away he was based in Caribbean so I got a two week holiday to see him in Barbados, they get paid pretty well and they are pretty good to families offering good support. Oh and the navy pay Richs petrol money to commute!

Also whilst he is on courses I believe he will be classed as a student in which case I think you can claim discount on your council tax upto 25%. we're looking into it so will let u know the outcome.

Pidge, I went trough this when OH started working away from home. Al;though not in the forces the aspects of being lonely and having to reinvent your life is the same. At the time I had two kids under the age of 5 and another on the way.

It was very hard because of the chidlren as I did not have the freedom to get out and do stuff. I was reliant on babysitters and family every time I wanted to go out.

If it had happened before the kids it would have been a whole different ballggame.The time spent with him will be replaced by time with friends/family and gradually it gets easier. having Woody will be a huge help. Intelligent conversation at all times.

There are some advantages too you know! more space in the bed although as a newly wed this probably won't seem like a plus to you. Full choice of t.v channels. No one to contradict you. You get to choose what's for tea every night too.Shopping when you want and no worrying about where to hide that new pair of shoes.

In all seriousness it takes forever to get used to it, but you do. There is alot of truth in the old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder.....time together becomes very special .

pm me if you need to.

I think I might cry. I've just been reading the links he's sent me and he has to go for weekend assessment/interview, then if he gets in it's 30 weeks training!! then God knows where we'll end up (and I've seen some of the RAF housing, I live near it now).

It's half that he'll be making a new life for himself that doesn't include me (I mean they all have to live, work, rest and play together initially) and that I moved here to be with him, all my friends are in MK and I lived on my own for 30 years before I met him (well you know what I mean). I married him because he's my soul mate but that's because we're a team, we do everything together and (Ok, now I am crying), and it's just not the same without him.

I like having someone to cook for, I like not sleeping properly because there is another body in there and I look taking the piss out of whoever is on TV with someone who thinks like me!!

*stomps feet* it's not fair!

I will support him no matter what but why couldn't he just want to go into banking, or something 9-5 that pays loads!! ;o)

Aw youll be ok hun.

It will all work out.

I ive 5 mins from MK, you can always meet me for a dog walk if you come down this way. I will cheer you up!!