I think you are very lucky to have the amount you have now...and it would be wonderful if your O/H agrees to let the new one stay.

However, I do think you should think about the bigger picture, not about your ability to care for another, there's absolutely no question in my mind about that...but more the fact that he has said no already, if you do go against his wishes could it cause problems further down the line?

A relationship should be equal and if you're not listening to his wishes as you want him to listen to yours then what happens when he wants to do something that you're not happy about but he goes and does it anyway?

Not wanting to put a dampner on your thread, and I truly hope you get to keep the new dog if thats whats best for her too, I just wouldn't want you to lose everything else that you have at the moment. xx

I agree with this, I would love a pug and one of these days I shall have a pug. I already have 5 dogs and a pug would make 6.
I already look after my younger sons ex-girlfriends pug on a regular basis so can obviously cope with 6 quite easily. My OH is adamant there can be no more dogs.
Ok he's always said it, he said it after number 2, number 3 etc. and each time we have taken on a new dog he says no initially, and once he meets the dog changes his mind. I have always said if he's that adamant then he shouldn't meet them in the first place but hey.
His only involvement with the dogs is tagging along on walks and paying for their upkeep and kennelling 5, let alone 6 dogs when we go on holiday isn't for the financially challenged.
My youngest son has been winding my OH up by saying he's bought me a pug for my birthday next week, it hasn't been well received. He hasn't done it, he wouldn't do it, he knows I would want to be involved from the very beginning but the OH isn't happy and it shows.
He's been generally out of sorts for months, he feels ignored, side lined, even his new sports car hasn't really cheered him up.
We've had a tough year, with having to take on responsibility for other family members problems, and while my dogs have kept me sane throughout it all, they seem to have had the opposite effect on him and he doesn't even know why but the dogs are his bone of contention.
So I'm letting it be, my pug will come when the time is right, my OH will get back to normal and life will go on.
I'd consider it selfish to get my pug now, there is never just one dog that's right for you, it's not as if the dog would struggle to find a home without you, so I would let it go, there will be other dogs when the time is right.

i know how hard it is to let the ones go that come in and just seem to fit, for me the bit i have quoted says it all, and in your position i would think about the following, if this dog does stay can you still foster??, and what happens when one comes along that is maybe not an easy rehome needs you more. Please don't think i am having a go because i'm not, but from one fosterer to another sometimes we have to let our heads rule over our hearts, the two i failed with, i failed with because they just woudn't have been rehomable, Neam because it has just taken too long to bring her round (and we're still not there) and it would be unfair to rehome her,, and Moll because she would just be too much for some and she would bounce.

Personally i always think that if they are easily rehomable let them go, as much as it breaks my heart to do it, and i have a good blub and then look forward to the updates, while i help the next one that comes along

Always room for that little man


Many moons ago I used to do what I wanted when it came to the dogs - usually fostering rather than adding to our pack - it did cause issues and would come up in arguments. I dont want to go down that route with it all being resolved. We had a rocky year last year as sometimes relationships do and we have worked hard at it. I dont want to jepordise (sp) that. Although it does work both ways and when he is fighting for something he really wants next that i dont agree with.....its going to be hard not to bring it up.

Thanks guys, true I do all the work and in my opinion 1 more would not make a difference. He loves all the dogs we do have dearly, even if he maintains he never even wanted one initially.

Sounds familiar

No I couldnt still foster - ....but then again for now we are not fostering regardless of whether we have 5 or 6 dogs (im hoping that things might change soon though). She only passed through as she had to get out of the pound and I was nearest and got the call.

Out of my 3 rescues that we failed at fostering, the first nearly died from parvo and after nursing him through hubby - yes hubby couldnt bear to be parted from him. The next one we kept because we couldnt rehome him, he was/is fear aggressive and you have to be extremely careful with him. It came to a point where we adopted him as we knew we could keep him safe or he would be pts, we kept him. And the last was the JRT she just wormed her way into our hearts.

At the end of the day we have fostered for 5 years and always foster the difficult ones that they need to know if they can live in a home environment or not, or the ones that have been severely abused and have such a long way to go. Emotionally we needed a break, more recently each foster has ended in tears for one reason or another, the last me taking him to be put to sleep because of aggression issues so bad that even we couldnt have kept him. It broke my heart as he resisted all the way and I had to physically restrain him. I loved him dearly even after the trips to hospital i had to go through.

I see what you mean Scorpio and I am extremely grateful for the dogs I have and thank my lucky stars every day that I am able to keep them. She would of course have a wonderful life with me but like I said, Im sure she would elsewhere also.

I think I know I am not going to be able to have this girl no matter how much I 'want' too but it is hard to come to terms with. Its not a case of stamping my feet and spitting my dummy out on a whim, I really did connect instantly but one day in the future maybe ill get another opportunity to add to my doggy family.

6 isnt anymuch more than 5, once youve got 3 theres not much difference is there!!!!!

Precisely, it's all give and take. Yes, I have got my dogs as and when I've wanted and not "asked." I stopped "asking" permission of people when I left my parents' home many moons ago. My Husband doesn't "ask" if he can spend hours on the Playstation or "ask" if he can sleep in til midday at the weekend when I'm up with my little one and the dogs. We are both adults and we respect the fact that each have their own ways/likes/dislikes.

From my experience of couples around me all my life, those women that "ask" permission and work around their partners, are no better thought of.

Life's too short to go without something you desire, just because your Partner isn't in agreement imo Each to their own though

My OH has just picked himself up off the floor at the prospect of me asking for anything. Of course life is about give and take but sometimes the things we want do impact on how others feel. If my OH thought I was desperate for another dog he'd probably get it for me himself although he'd be a bit worried about my mental state, cos me and desperate don't go hand in hand. I've never asked for anything but obviously stuff comes up in conversation, and while he understands me wanting a pug, and he would love it etc. he wants a bit of space in our lives for us, and I can see where he's coming from. This past year our lives have been hijacked by everyone else's problems, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We just need time to get back on an even keel and adjust to the way our lives have changed as a result of other family members lives changing. Incidently he did run the purchase of his new car past me first, he did want my opinion and was influenced by what I said. Well he would be wouldn't he cos it meant a newer more expensive car and he knows I talk sense He thinks he's going through a mid life crisis and can at least laugh about it. I do think there is a huge difference between not wanting to upset your OH and just letting them dictate what goes. I know my OH is incapable of denying me anything if I really want it. Doesn't mean I have to walk all over him because of it though.

What a difficult situation Alexa. It sounds as though you have really fallen for her.

I don't think you can really go against your OH's wishes though, if it going to cause friction and arguments. I don't think that is fair on anyone, including the new dog. She has to be wanted by all the family.

Thankfully I have a very understanding, dog-loving OH and I know that if I really, really wanted another dog then he wouldn't say no, although I am sure we would talk through all the ins and outs of another dog first. In fact, fairly recently I was keen on getting a horse. Hubby doesn't like horses but never said I couldn't have one, he just said that it might be prudent to wait until Ben is older and I have more time, otherwise I will have to spread myself very thinly with Ben and my dogs too. After giving it a lot of thought, I have decided he is right.

I do hope you manage to persuade your OH to change his mind, but if he doesn't then I would try not to hold it against him too much. Also, well done on fostering so many dogs over the years!

Well up untill she actually goes to a new home I will be trying to see if I can get him to agree to having her. If he stands firm then I guess it wont happen.

But it is the start of the football season and I have already been abandoned four times in the past week, and heaven help me if i complain about him wanting to go to/watch football again. LOL

Do you think this might work? Call your vet and ask him if you get another,if you could get a better deal on vet care. Like 15% or 20% off, that just might be the thing that would let you get the "yes" from hubby.