If it's any consolation I used to wonder the same with Rupert. I figured I'd cross that bridge when it came and it's now a moot point.

I think you need to be realistic though. I think if you want your trainer to have Cain then you have to let them have him when they're ready, you can't expect them not to get another dog just on the off chance you might want them to have Cain at a later date.

And if you don't rehome him to them, they get another dog that doesn't get on with Cain and you find yourself pregnant what are the options? What if you rehome him to them and then don't have children for whatever reason?

Thanks Sarah. Just to clarify, I've never suggested that they should wait and not get another dog because one day they might have Cain. It's only that they have said that they would have him and if they did, it might potentially influence their choice of dog (for example, if they got a rescue maybe they wouldn't get another dog aggressive one). Of course that would be their choice, I'm not trying to influence their choice, but if they don't know even know it's an option then of course they won't consider it as a factor. I don't think I'm making much sense

Whatever happens down the line you won't have failed Cain, You'll have given him however many years of happy life, which is more than he'd have had if he hadn't landed on your doorstep.

Why don't you mention to him that you want to have kids in the future and you're worried about Cain with kids. Just see what he says. He may come up with a solution for you. If you don't tell him your concerns then he's not going to be able to offer. You don't have to ask him outright, just mention what you're thinking without asking him if he'd like Cain. You never know, he may offer without being asked.
Also bear in mind that when you do decide to have kids, Cain's going to be older and maybe harder to rehome.
I hope you can sort this out. It'll be hard but at least you're thinking about it now and not when you're actually pregnant.
Good luck hun....xxxxx

At the moment your trainer is not in a position to have Cain. In reality, he may not seriously see it as an option anyway. If your trainer loses his elderly dog and wishes to rehome Cain, perhaps you would consider it then irregardless of starting a family?

Cain may not be around if and when you have kids. If he doesn't reach his potential life span or if it takes longer to get pregnant than you hope.

I agree with SB. Cross that bridge when you come to it.

Would your dog not be different with YOUR child? As an extension of you?

Obviously you know your dog better than anyone, so if not & you are thinking of having children soon could you have a shared arrangement with your trainer until then? Easing your dog in slowly and weaning yourself at the same time. Maybe when & if you do have babies you could still have contact & walk the dog?

Amanda, I think that you are wise to raise the subject about the possibility of you having kids in the future and your concerns regarding Cain. Naturally wait until he has grieved for his lost dog but if you don't mention it you will never know his thoughts! As lots of people have said, you never know what the future holds but at least you would have some idea if his trainer really was serious about taking him on at a later date.
Good luck and I think you are being very sensible to look to the future and at least know Cain's options.

I think I understand what you are saying. And if your feeling is that Cain would potentially be happy with this trainer, I can't see the harm in broaching the subject delicately with this man in the near future. It's actually rather a big compliment to him!

I think - and please forgive me, I truly don't mean to sound patronising - also that you have to be brutally honest with yourself about how you are coping now/would cope if pregnant, given the various 'challenges' you have encountered with Cain My dog is far, far less reactive than Cain - and I know how stressful and exhausting it has been at times.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you know that you do hope to have children, and if you feel you may have found a good home for Cain then YES - discuss it with your trainer.

Nobody, but nobody, could possibly have worked harder than you have with Cain. Nobody.



LJRU - great post, I totally agree!

I know how hard this must be for you to think about

Personally, I know you are quite friendly with Dave so I think it's worth having a chat with him. Not necessarily anything formal, just a chat about the future, kids, Cain etc and see where it takes you.

I know you say how much he loves Cain, and he might jump at the chance to be the one who could potentially be the one to offer Cain a forever home in the event that you cannot.. equally the circumstances may not be right for him. However, he does seem to like challenging dogs!

I think in reality it will be hard for you to plan ahead exactly but it's always worth seeing what your options are. You could regret it if you never broach the subject only to find in the future he would have loved Cain but is then in a position where he can't take him as he didn't know it could be on the table...

As I already said to you, Kestral is a pretty easy dog in caparison, but she is very afraid of kids and although better can still be very reactive in certain circumstances. The trouble is when you have a child, it is not just how the dog feels around YOUR child, but also any child that will realistically enter your house. It's something I'm a bit nervous about on a lesser scale!

Even if you don't make a concrete plan, as things in life always change, it's worth thinking about and seeing what your options are..

And of course you may never have children.............