What a lovely post Jo, and I guess both you and Elaine know the pain I'm in right now, but I was hoping it would go after Tuesday, and I could just breathe a great big sigh of relief, but then maybe I'm left with a different kind of pain, I hope so, coz this one truly hurts.

Woke at 4.00 am, crying and crying, then fell asleep again when I was supposed to get up but the dogs didn't mind, they seem to know something's not quite right in this house at the moment, the way mummy keeps disappearing for so very long in the mornings, but they're both being as good as gold, and everytime I blurt out, Zena is right there, sticking her great big paws around my neck and licking away my tears, I swear this dog was sent to mop up all that mess!!!

Managed to get the last finalities done this morning and take the clothes to the funeral parlour and hopefully I might be able to see Mum on my Birthday (Friday) maybe when they've got her ready, I hope so, I want to do that, I've never seen her in that dress, and I've taken her favourite pearl necklace, some matching ear-rings, and a ring that her best friend bought her in Poland which meant a lot to mum, so she'll like that I'm putting that on her.

Had a lovely chat with Elaine earlier on, she always cheers me up, coz I felt really down and my mates are all working today, and thankfully she was there at the end of the phone for me like she always is.xxxx

When I gave the rest of the family the funeral details yesterday, I told them although mum didn't want flowers, I've done the "mum" one for us and my brother, but it was up to them to do theirs and I gave them ALL the information they would need. What happens? They e-mail me today asking ME to do it (so that I pay of course!!!!), so I told them that isn't going to happen coz it's not right, if they want the worded flowers, then they will have to arrange for them (quite simple over the internet isn't it!!! ) it's the least they can do for her on her final journey! Reminds me of when they all took her out to an expensive restaurant once, she told me, and when they'd finished, they ALL got up and walked out and left her sitting there to pay for the bill !!!!!! I don't care if I am doing wrong by mum, but I'm darn sure they're gonna put their hands in their own pockets for HER this time!!! I cannot belieeeeeve their cheek quite honestly!!! I suppose I might have got the "and we'll pay you back" but it wasn't there on the e-mail and it would never be forthcoming, that I do know! It's the principal of the thing to me, so I've told him straight, I won't be organising that bit.

Talking of flowers, I've just phoned the florists who's doing our wreath, and I've asked if they could do one white footprint from Georgie, and one black and gold for Zena, and she said they've never been asked for that before, but she'll enjoy doing those she said! She thought so much of our dogs, it's only right that they too say their goodbye, so thanks Elaine! xxxxxx

I have strict instructions from Dave, that I am to get something to eat, unplug the bladdy phone and go and lie down, and although I don't do instructions very well, I think he might have hit on a good one this time! xxxxxx Thanks all, I'm getting there.xxxxx

Thinking of you Helena *Hugs*

oh Helena I feel for you I really do. It is such a hard time. When my dad passed away I was left to do the organising as I am an only child and my mum was in a state. We dressed him in his smartest clothes too. Sadly due to bad weather I was unable to get to Buxton to see him.


However I gave the undertakers some "special Photots" to put in his pocket. He had one of Merlin my first GSD who he adored and who sadly had passed away just 6 months earlier. A photo of my son (his 1st Grandson) as he was only 3 months old when dad passed. It gives me some reassurance than he has taken these with him and that he can see them when he wants. The undertaker thought it was a lovely gesture.....may be your mum would like to take some special photos with her? Just a thought.......


The pain eases it truly does, dad has been passed over 7 years now. I think of him every day he is there by my side I have been told. I hope your arrangements go as you planned them, your mum will be so proud of you. You stick to your guns as you know that is what your mum would want and expect.


Thinking of you all

Mel and the GSDs xxxx

Thanks Lou xxxxx

So sorry Mel, it's not easy is it That's a good idea, I have some photo's of the grandchildren and her great grand-son, which I will put in there with her, and some other bits I want to put in.

It's taken me one hour to just write a simple floral tribute card - no wonder they gave me 8 of them!!! I never thought it would be so hard, and as you know, I don't do "brief" at the best of times, I just wish they'd given me some bigger ones! Lol! I think I've got it now though, exactly what I want to say to her I'll just have to write it very small!!!!

Vicar coming at 8am tomorrow morning, I'd better get the kettle on hadn't I, and a very big box of tissues methinks! He's even given me his mobile phone number, how lovely is that, for just in case I need to talk to him, but thankfully, I'm still soldiering on, don't know how, but I am. Thanks again guys.xxxxx

, aw Helen, I'm sorry things are so difficult but trust you to make me laugh even with all this going on.

I really hope that things go the way you and your mum would want and that you can find peace afterwards.
xxx

Lol Lucky, after another hour of crying, it's only fitting,and mum would want it this way I'm sure! I gave up in the end, and edited most of it out!!! Stupid little cards!!!! They obviously don't know me very well down at that flower shop do they!! They will though, they will!!! Especially after I've asked for 2 paw prints made into posies of flowers,they're probably thinking I'm a nutter! Oh I wish mum was still here to share these antics again with me, sometimes she'd be cracked up when I'd go up and tell her something, but then I'm forgetting, she's already sitting right next to me now isn't she! Silly me!

I think that's a wonderful idea (the paw prints) and from what you've said about your mum, she would love it. She will love it!

I have been thinking about you Helena, I love the idea of the flowers in paw prints.

It will get easier, I lost my mum 5 years ago the funeral was the day after my birthday, there not a day goes by when I don't think about her but now I can smile at the things we got up to.

Thanks Moetmum, I have faith that those days will eventually come for me too just like they have for you and a lot of others on here, but for the moment, it's still painful, sometimes quite unbearable as you well know, I just want it to be all overwith now so I can grieve in peace alone with my gorgeous dogs and go for long walks and reflect on the good times we had together, and there are lots of them, not ONE painful memory over the last 3 years here apart from seeing her in pain of course, but nothing that happened between the two of us, only laughter and lots of it, how blessed am I!

Just dropped in to give you a big hug. The paw print flowers sound like a fantastic idea and your dear mum would wholeheartedly approve Aitch. xxxxx