I understand totally how difficult this must be for you.
I had a cat when I brought my first greyhound home. He was very interested in the cat but with time ( only a month or so ) he was fine. He was typical of several other greyhounds I knew in this respect. After he died I took on another greyhound, this time a bitch. She was more difficult than my first grey, and it was a few months before things really calmed down but eventually I truly thought we had it licked. Then one day she was out in the garden and the cat jumped into the garden over the back gate and that was it- she grabbed and killed the cat. The thing is, when you describe Ruby as not growling but just tail wagging and lunging/ nipping you are describing my second greyhound also ( so far as I can tell without actually seeing Ruby).
I cannot begin to describe how awful I felt. The guilt was terrible. Yet I had to put these feelings aside in my daily life with the dog and treat her as normal. I didn't stop loving my greyhound but I won't pretend it was easy. Eventually of course I loved her as much as all my other dogs and I was terribly upset when she eventually died years later of bone cancer. However you are right to think about not just your cats welfare but also how you will feel about her if she ever did badly hurt or even kill one of them.
I don't know whether you have had a behaviourist in to see the problem for themselves and if not this may be the way to go.
It seems to me that you'll feel awful about rehoming her and yet worried about what may happen if you don't. I know this must be a really tough time for you. I wish I could be more helpful.
Be keeping you in my thoughtsxx

My thought's are with you hun as this is a important decision, the suggestion of having the cat crated with her in the room is a good one, have her on a lead cat in crate and keep a tasty reward in your pocket and when she sit's by you calm reward her, and so on it will be a long road hun but with time I can see it working out for you all.xxx

I really hope it works out, i had a shar pei and know how difficult they can be.

Thank you everyone, you all give me the strength to carry on, we are not rushing into anything and Ruby is still yet to be spayed which will still happen, maybe that will help calm her down a bit, who knows?

WE REALLY WANT TO CRACK THIS!!!!!

Emptied

Pleased for you Hun. It can be difficult I know, Skye spent several months nipping and herding, our cats tried everything to avoid her as a pup, but it stopped, and she loves them now. Hope you have a success. My fingers are xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for you all

speying really took quite abit of shARPNESS off my birch, def worth a try!!!!!!

Jules I really feel sorry for you, having been in a similar predicament myself.
I struggled for 10mths and in the end it was the kindest thing all round to let her go.
I can see everyones point of view but at the end of the day you have to do what is right for you and your family.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}

Sending good wishes, wouldnt want to be in your shoes, I hope it works out for you!!

Just seen this thread, How awful for you, I hope you can get throught to Ruby.
I know what you mean about your bond with your cats ,We only have 1 at the moment but have had cats all my life and you do get a bond like with dog, some people dont need to form that bond as much with there cats, as cats are very indepentant, I think thats why some may not see why you would keep the cats over Ruby.
Its so hard when you have to choose like that.
Come on Ruby use your noodle and listen to what your mummy is telling you.