Totally agree , xxdk

Lorna, she has made and is making your life hell.No one is worth it!

That is a fair point!

Becky, you're an angel!

Think I'd better update everyone on what is going on now.....

We discussed things and she said that she doesn't want to lose me, she has promised never to lay a hand on me again and knows that if she does I'm out. I've realised since last week, that I actually do really care about her, and so long as everything stays how it is now, we will have a good life together, she's REALLY bonded with Icon, its wonderful to watch her give him kisses and cuddles and she looks forward to the three of us sitting on the sofa watching a dvd now

With my new job, we can afford to do nice things together and I'm doing more around the house on my days off so we're sharing things out better. I do really care about her, I know things haven't been great, but I'm hoping we can have a fresh start! Thank you all for all you have said, I just feel like I need to give this a go, she has got a lovely side, and I've got nothing to lose xxx

I'm sorry Lorna but she's not cutting it with me.
Course she doesn't want to lose you, you're so easily controlled!
Course she's going to promise not to hit you again, as she's done it before and you are still with her.
What miraculous things has she done since last week to make you realise you do really care about her when she's hit you? That is just your low self esteem just dying to give her the benefit of the doubt as you are not strong enough to make the break.
You do have a lot to lose with someone like that and I am still worrying about you only because I have been there.

The way you are talking was me about 18 years ago.
I now have a scar on my chin where I was hit so hard my tooth came through my face, have a deformed middle finger as it was stamped on as I tried to tie my shoelaces to escape and had broken ribs. I also have a 4inch scar down my right thigh where a potato peeler was used and do you know what? I went back everytime!

It was only when something happened to Charlie at 6 months old that the authorities removed him, which was a shock as I had no idea what had happened.
Please also note I stood by him and when he got MS looked after him too until I was strong enough to see sense.

So please. Think about getting out, not just because of her but because you need a break.
You need to get Tracy out of your head, because I can bet we'll have another thread in the future about your mixed feelings again.
You need to get through that, get YOU sorted and then think about any future relationship.
Until you do that you will be in a vicious circle that only you can break.

Now I know you very probably won't take any notice. You'll listen to Adele and you'll stay, I wouldve been the same and got very very good at hiding things.
But please, I don't ever want to have to say to you 'I told you so'.

It is funny how you describe her as having a lovely side, not lovely full stop.

big hugs becky, that must have been so hard.

Becky very well said.

Lorna I have read your posts and sometimes replied to them feeling that I am helpless to assist you and I was nopt sure how to reply to this thread at this point as I feel I don't know you well enough to comment.

But I do totally believe Becky is right and it is only a matter of time. What with your new job etc this is a time of change for you and yeah change is scary real scary but think back to how scared you have been ina "loving" relationship. How sad you have been how angry and how desparate you have been.

Getting out is the only way forward sort out your own life and then see what happens if Adele has truly changed and seen the error of her ways (which sadly I doubt is the case) then she will be happy for you to do this and will wait for you to sort things out and the 2 of you can rekindle your relationship at a later date.

I personally feel that the further away from this you can be the better. However I, like others can only give advice and respect whatever decision you make, and the last thing I want is for you to feel like you can't let us know when the sh*t hits the fan aagain, because believe me it will

Sorry if it is not my place to say any/all of this but I am worried about you and I too have been in a similar situation and it took me 3 years to sort out my own head and realise that what I had accepted as acceptable was totally unacceptable.

You are so close to being free to being able to KNOW not hope that you and icon and someone who really loves [/B]YOU[/B] can cuddle up on sofa and watch a dvd.

Stay safe
x

Lorna hun ,I really think you need to step back from this babe ,And get things into perspective as i myself have been in this situation and believe me when your vunerable its so easy to be manipulated by someone you care about or think you care about ,I was with a bloke before who promised me the world we moved intogether he was mister wonderful for the first few days then it all changed ,He locked me in the flat every day and went off doing his thing mostly drinking ,He would come back put his steel toe cap boots on and kick the living death out of me , I was raped and beaten by him on a daily basis for 2 months i become pregnant because he flushed my birth control down the toilet and as i could not get out of the flat i could not get contact with anyone ,I had left home against my parents wishes so they had no idea where i was living , I became pregnant as i said and he beat me that much i miscarried as a result i cannot have children it lead to all manner of gynae problems for me because of the constant kickings i recieved ,I had broken ribs ,a skull fracture bruised kdneys etc, Finally one day i got the courage to leave i had too before he killed me ,He was cold drunk and i took the keys from his pocket i was so scared i left with only the clothes i stood up in ,I run from there as fast as i could and hitched a left with and elderly couple ,Thye wanted to take me to the ozzy i was so scared he would find me when the ladys husband stopped at the traffic lights i jumped out of the car and took of ,I ended up living on the streets as i was to scared to return to my parents ,I met a girl called Angie and she took care of me , He found me agin and ahgain he beat and raped me and left me lying in an alley way , Friends from my sisters church went round given food to the homeless peoiple and a guy called Louis found me and barely reconised me ,He contacted the police and my sister who came to get me ,I WAS LUCKY ,he was reported to the police and later prosecuted for rape on four counts i still live my life in fear of this man ,As i know someday he will be freed given the justice system we have and he will look for me agin ,I had to leae my home town and all my friends behind in fear he would find me ,
So hun please dont be manipulated by you oh ,As you are very confused and fragile at present darling break free and start rebuilding your life as if you stay my fear is it will happen again and again, as leopards do not change there spots xxdk

Please hun take care xxdk

Lorna, I hope you don't think I am being harsh but this relationship is going nowhere. You still haven't got your ex out of your system, and you don't say you love your new partner only that you care for her. You really need to be on your own to control your own life and not let others do that for you. I don't think you should be looking for any relationship at the moment. You are too mixed up, get yourself sorted first and the only way to do that is to move out as soon as possible.

I agree xxdk