Pereg is doing well but...

I am just so exhausted. Looking after an epi dog and being scared at her slightest movement and sound is disrupting my sleep, and because of what seems like non-stop preparing food for her now I know I am not eating properly myself.

Really do not want to go down the "why her, why me" route because it happened and it was not her fault was it, but I cannot help feel I want my "real" Pereg back again.

Not sure if I am making sense. Sorry. I am just so very tired.

{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}} to you.

I understand how you feel, I really do. I had very similar feelings when Isaac was first diagnosed.

The first time he had an epileptic fit I thought he was dying in my arms. I had no experience of living with a dog with epilepsy. I was very lucky in that my close friend (Tupacs2legs) is a Vet Nurse with 20 years experience as well as living with an epileptic dog herself.

I once said to Layla (Tupacs2legs) 'I wish Isaac was normal'. Layla reminded me that Isaac was 'normal' Yes he happened to have epilepsy but in every other respect he lived life to the full. It made me stop and think and also forced me to focus on the positive in Isaac's life.

He was diagnosed at a year old, he will be four this August. It's a way of life now. Yes, there are times when I get upset and would do anything for my lad not to take seizures but they are part of Isaac and I accept we will live with them for the rest of his life. My job is to ensure his safety when he has a fit and to support him through it.

As an owner of an epileptic dog I have came a long way in three years. It's not something I will ever get used to but I have made my peace with it. I hope you find the same peace.

Isaac is the life and soul of this house. Cheeky young scamp full of nonsense. He blazes the trail running in harness, enjoys his training sessions, zooms around with the pack, enjoys fun agility, lives a full family life and although at some point he may take a seizure when it is over the focus goes back onto the positives in his life. I am mindful but he is not wrapped in cotton wool.

It can feel as if you are on your own I know but there are many other people who live with a canine epileptic, help and support is out there

Some of the 'Dogsey Dogs' have owners like you and I who worry about our furkids. Lucky Star's Loki has epilepsy as does Brandykins dog also called Loki. Tassle and Rune live with and care for Champa and I am sure there are others I have probably missed. You are not alone

Give Pereg a hug from me please. I hope you both manage to get some rest. Remember to look after yourself too. I'm no good to Isaac if I'm not strong and focused. Take good care and have something to eat

Seoniad.

One thing I will say is don't sit there waiting for the next seizure. Carry on with life as normal, when it comes it comes and the more stressed and upset you get about it the less help you will be to Pereg. I've never dealt with epilepsy in a dog but live with it myself and although there are precautions I need to take sometimes and things I can't do (scuba diving, sky diving, driving a car, operating heavy machinery etc) I live a normal life and don't focus on the seizures. We're not such special snowflakes we need wrapping up in cotton wool

Firstly, everything seems a lot worse when you're tired! Treat yourself to some early nights, try some herbal teas or sleeping tablets to help you get off to sleep if needed, things will seem a lot better once you're rested.
Then take the above advice! I don't have experience with epileptic dogs but I had a dog with bad hips and although I was gutted to haveher diagnosed, I tried to make the most of what time we had together. Pereg would much rather have a happy mum who plays with her as if she's a healthy dog, than a mum constantly stressing out, I'm sure. If she has another siezure, she has another siezure, worrying about it won't help.
Is there anything you can do to cut the workload of the food preparation at all? I remember you posting that you were limited in what you could buy which I imagine makes it a bit awkward, but could you make a few days worth at a time to keep in the fridge or freezer? Could you adapt some of the food you're cooking her into a healthy dinner for yourself too, so you're not having to spend all day cooking for the two of you. I know of a few people who homecook for their dogs and they take advantage of slow cookers to stew meat and vegetables in, you could invest in a slow cooker and chuck everything in together in the morning and then just take your own portion out and season with salt, pepper, spices, etc. for a bit more flavour.

Aw shucks, and here was me feeling sorry for myself because I am tired. And I know I look it as well as when I went across the road to the little shop this morning I was asked if I was OK.

Sarah - I am not waiting for the next Grand Mal - or they will come or they will not, what Pereg is having at the moment are mainly complex partial seizures but of course I am scared that she will start not just Grand Mal but clustering again. So I cannot help but be jumpy and aware of all her sudden movements and sounds.

Please just remember that I am no longer young and that, together with my physical problems makes life more difficult, but Pereg is my girl and I love her, epileptic or not, and will do everything I possibly can for her.

I had quite a long chat with my Vet this morning when I phoned him about some more Pb for Pereg, and he has set my mind at rest regarding her treatment, saying that he knows that I know exactly what I am doing and that I should carry on the same way, tweaking her medication according to her seizure behaviour. He has known me for a long time and trusts my knowledge and judgement, and agrees that if we can only keep the seizures to partial ones then we are on the right track.

Sleeping tablets are a no no for me due to the other medication I need to take, and in any case I do not normally have problems falling asleep, but to be that drugged that I am not aware of anything towards happening to Pereg would be another reason why I dare not be too zonked at night.

I managed to take her out twice today for a fairly long run - she has a leash tied to my big scooter for when we are on the roads and when we got onto the fields I unclipped that and clipped her onto the 10m lead, which is also fixed onto my scooter.

And as she rambled and ran around I followed her so she was as good as free. It is rather too risky to let her loose due to the constraints of where we go, but she had a really good run each time.

I guess I was just feeling rather down this morning. I rarely complain about my own situation because I am so used to it now, but sometimes it does get a wee bit frustrating and I look back on the days when I was AB and wonder why this had to happen. So Pereg's epilepsy and all that it entails just added to my feelings.

Just so lucky that I can come here to Dogsey and know that there are other people who understand how much I love my gorgeous Pereg.

Please forgive me if I was moaning. I do try so hard to be upbeat all the time but sometimes it just hurts.

Thank you for listening.

Malka

Hi Malka - Glad you seem to be feeling a little better but when you are tired everything seems to get you down. I am sorry Pereg is an epi dog but you seem to be coping really well. I would also be very jumpy if I had an epi dog looking at every movement and it is difficult to relax. Hope you get some sleep tonight. xx

Hello Malka so sorry to hear of your dog's epilepsy. My Loki suffers Grand Mal fits and I know exactly what you are going thru'. Is your dog on medication? Have you seen the vet? If not, I would suggest that you see your vet. Loki is on Epiphen (Phenobarbs) and Potassium Bromide and they have helped her no end, she hasn't had a fit since a year past last December (touch wood).

http://www.canine-epilepsy.com/living.html

As you will know now, they get very hungry and eat a lot afterwards. I cook breasts of chicken and I mash them up and I add cold water and put some of the chicken and the cold water in her dish and she would eat it and it also gave her the water as well.

There are other sites that hold excellent advice and on Dogsey health threads as well, if you have time to read back on the older threads.

I never had a dog before until I retired and I felt I was thrown in at the deep end but I learnt to cope with it and received lots of help/advice from all the members on here, especially Lucky Star, whose dog Loki (and who is my Loki's cousin) suffers epilepsy.

It must be doubly awful for you but you must try to just accept it and take as much rest as you can.

You must keep a diary of her fits ie. the length of time she is in one and write down each fit as they happen. This helps the vet as well. With medication, her fits can be controlled.

Take care and thinking of you. If you ever want to chat - just pm me.

Rose

Hi Rose - yes, Pereg is on Pb, now 50mg 8.30am and 25mg 8.30pm [she started on 25mg bid]. As yet just the Pb and not Kbr but this is early days yet as her first Grand Mal was on 1 April and she has only been on medication since 10 April following a cluster on the 8th/9th. The dosage was increased following another cluster on the 22nd.

So it is all so very new to both Pereg and myself but I am reading up as much as I can find about canine epilepsy [thank you for that link - now bookmarked with all the others that I read over and over again].

She and I are coping with the hunger by adding lots of vegetables, pulses and grains to her diet, while cutting down the actual amount of the dry food she previously had. I am giving her additional supplements but slowly slowly and with the knowledge, agreement and approval of our Vet. Each additonal item is given by itself to see if she has any reaction and so far so good, even though some things are supposedly not good for epi dogs. But each dog is different and what suits her seems to be right for her.

But I am tired and in quite a lot of pain, so I guess just feeling a bit sorry for myself at times. And with nobody to help me it makes it worse.

It really is such a lonely feeling at times.

I cant give you any advice about Pereg, but just thought I would send you some (((hugs))) its not good to feel lonely
xxx

I cannot offer any advice to you but understand fully your worries and your feeling of lonliness.I live alone with a pup with health problems and having no-one to share it with makes it harder.`It's also true we worry more in the small hours and sleep just doesn't come! Don't apologise for moaning on here.. if you are having a bad day and it helps get it off your chest then all the better. You are doing a great job in looking after you little girl..good luck with her and hugs to you both x