You're dead right there and we've had this conversation over and over. I treat Skye as the others. MY dogs would be Bear and Shiloh, Shiloh is full brother to Skye but he's always been mine to train and such.

He's a completely different dog. He knows where he is and knows what he's allowed to do. Skye does fit into the 'give an inch, take a mile' idiom and she will!

Skye is a little madam at times, and I do love her to bits but it's mad me angry on more than one occasion to see the problems we now have to correct because of this favouritism

I personally think that Skye is heading for trouble and everyone can see it except for the OH. She knows just how to get around him as well with her silly flat ears and little licks and clown tricks.

She's incredibly intelligent and I do fear that as long as she is allowed more priveliges than the others she will exhibit these behaviours that get her into trouble.

I don't blame Bear for the altercations they have had, there's a reason they've only been with Skye and not Shiloh or Ruby and I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall because only I can see it.

He says things like 'Well, this is Skye's house, so she should be allowed to do that if she wants to' ... or 'How can he come into this house and knock Skye off the top spot???'


Frustrating to say the least.

think your OH needs to come here I'll train him for you

Is skye on ''top spot'' though he may think so but then it is only him that has put her there she may not of earned that position (as your aware) what Oh needs to think is....is Skye really strong enough to be on ''top spot'' Oh may put her there and make her feel she is, but if challenged could she or is she able to maintain that. Your OH may well be putting her in a risky position.

Sometimes we think in a mulipack household that a particular dog is ''top'' but when looked at properly they actually are not.
For example we here have a 17 year old and folk come in with thier impression that because she is old one of the younger ones must be ''boss'' they see Reah fast asleep and make assumptions that she is old, gets left out etc., when infact the whole reason Reah has the whole chair or settee to herself is that she is very much ''boss'' and has not given her permission to the others to share her seat and they know better than to overstep the line.
Being boss she doesn't have to food guard she just has to look at them and they move away or stay away from her dish no growling or snarling.
When she wants to go out the others move, if Tess (youngest) pushes past Reah grabs her muzzle and pins her...no noise, no squealing from Tess...just silently done, as Reah lets go Tess steps backwards.

Perhaps your OH should look at the advice you have had on other threads and be aware that he could be responsible for a problem by giving Skye her own way....after all he really wouldn;t want her to get hurt by being pushy, Im sure your other dogs have just allowed her to be where she is.....Bear may not.

I hoe you find a solution, I agree with you about training Bear on your own if you must, Im sure your will be rewarded in the end xxxxxx

I think dogs are like kids in many ways and one of those ways is to cause arguments on how things should be done!

(Sorry to the men out there!) But my experience is men can be like big kids sometimes and get all jealous over silly things. Sounds like on some level your OH is resentful that perhaps Bear is bonding with you more and yet he is the one who brought him home.

When me and the ex bought our house, the first dog we had was one of his choosing, Jed was "his dog". I ended up doing everything for that dog including training and buying everything it needed. Of course, Jed responded to me but would walk all over the ex and he hated it. The same happened when we had the second and third dogs. The ex couldnt even walk 2 dogs properly, he totally struggled to control more than 1 dog at a time and so I decided to throw the third at him, lol!

Anyway, I left and took all 3 dogs despite Jed technically not being mine (he is now though in the eyes of the law). He doesnt even bother to ask how they are doing nowadays so it proved to me how little interest he truly had.

The current OH already had a dog of his own and we've had many arguments over dogs simply because we agree on nothing! The fact that we both have HPR's, mine being trained and doing well in competitions and his not even trained properly causes friction. It's like it's almost competition between the 2 pointers and handlers and he cant take advice from me because he supposedly has more experience.

We dont live together so the way I handle it is that we dont get involved with each others dogs, we dont even walk them together anymore. But if we did live together then I would foresee huge problems.

My opinion is you wont make any progress with any of the dogs if you arent singing from the same hymn sheet. You need to somehow make your partner see how Bear is progressing. Perhaps try secretly teaching Bear something like a trick. I know it sounds silly but it might make your OH see that he is trainable and possibly bring a smile to his face. I dunno, clutching at straws maybe?!

It's a hard situation to be in and I wish you luck with it.

Sorry to hear about your problems with Bear and your other half. I thought I would tell you about Cherry and my other half to hopefully give you some encouragement.

My husband Jamie is not a doggy person but he selected the breed we have. We got Cherry and Parker from rehoming and from a month after we got her she has always been reactive to other dogs. He used to really upset me as her name was "Bessie" and he used to call her "Bessie the monster dog" and "Darth Bessie" which wasn't very helpful!
That is the reason I changed her name from "Bessie" which I had chosen, to her original name "Cherry" as I was fed up with her being labelled like this.

I think at one point he would definitely have supported me had I wished to have her put to sleep when we were at a really low point with her. He didn't think she would ever be any different.

However, he thinks the world of her now-she is definitely a "daddy's girl"! She is much better behaved although she still can be reactive with large dogs she doesn't know but she will sit and watch me instead of kicking off. She is the perfect indoor dog and we love her to bits although she has not been an easy dog.

So sorry to hear about your current situation I agree with Youngstevie & Misty-Pup, in that maybe your OH is jealous that you are bonding with Bear. My OH & me do partly agree on our dogs, but he is the first to admit that he has brought home dogs and other animals without thinking it through or talking to me, as his heart rules his head sometimes, as it can do with me, but I am the one who the daily care falls too, until a while ago i did everything for all our animals {and believe me we have a place full} then i ended up in hospital last year with a stroke, for 8 weeks my OH had to do it all, he couldn't believe just how much work is involved, now we are more like on the same page {so to speak} he helps me alot more, i have finally got back to walking the dogs, as this is what i missed most, but it has to be a joint effort due to my disabilities,

But has he {OH} learnt his lesson, NO !!
he came home a few nights ago and said someone we know has a problem / illness in their household and could we foster their 5yr old wolfhound {who doesn't walk on a lead very good and is very nervous} I feel like I'm back to square one, of course i feel sorry for the couple, but i feel this would be a big mistake and i am trying to make my head rule, and not my heart

I really hope you can work things out, for Bears sake, after taking on as many rescues as we have, i understand how unsettling it can be bringing in a new adult dog, but it is all worth it in the long run.
I hope it all works out right for you all

Sorry to read about your trouble. One of my Ex's and I both had very different ideas's about how the dogs should be handled. At one point they even had me believing that Indy was always going o be trouble and should be rehomed as our other dogs (including mine) would never get on with her - she was terrorising them.... she was 14 weeks old!!!!! We went as far as talking about rehoming her then I came to my senses and rehomed the other half instead! Amazingly as soon as that was done my dogs including little Indy settled right down and were all quite happy and contented. Last time I let a partner interfere with my dogs EVER!!!!

Well, my OH registered on this forum last night and read this post. At first he was quite upset about it but today he seems a lot more positive. He was up and ready to take the dogs out before me and was positive about Bear. He was the one telling me to relax!

I think it's had a positive effect on Bear too as he's been a lot more amiable with the dogs and dogs on the walk too today (although we're still going ahead with the anti-social dog classes).

I think it's been a lot about seeing the effect it has had on the other dogs, they'e always been so happy go lucky all the time, but Bear's presence means they cannot go mental as they used to because they get told off by Bear!

In honesty, I think Bear has had a positive influence on our other dogs, and has made us more aware of what we need to work on.

I was a little bit miffed today on a walk though, as an American couple approached with their ESS and said something ridiculous like 'Oh, is Shiloh named after Angelina and Brad's kid?' ... and before I could answer they said 'Oh my God, we're going, that dog is dangerous and going to attack ours' *looking at Bear*.

I was a bit miffed as he was actually being reasonably keen to say hello to them. Some people are so stupid, it's unreal. And like I would name a dog after a celeb kid?????

I can now understand the stigma people talk about attached to dogs wearing muzzles, but I guess this is a positive thing as only less stupid dog owners who know about responsible dog ownership are going to stopping and allowing their (usually better trained) dogs to socialise with ours.

Grrr!

But yay on the OH front. Hopefully this isn't a passing whim and this is going to be the start of a positive outlook with Bear!

On the other hand, I've felt quite upset about Scooby (brother to my sheepdogs who my friend is rehoming because he's got serious HD at 11 months old) because after speaking with her yesterday, it seems that she only wants me to have him.

I think if needs be I will go and get him and then home him from here. Hopefully people will be keener if they can get a first-hand account of how he is in different situations and how he's going to settle into a household after being a farm dog for the start of his life.

(I know how you feel about that wolfhound now musky!)

I am so glad to hear you sounding more positive today, it is great that your OH has joined the forum, as there is so much help and support here, it's great I'm completely hooked.
It time i am such things will improve

Sometimes when people sit down and read other people's unbiased opinion on things it makes them re-think their situation. On my post a lot of people mentioned that maybe my OH was a bit jealous (I had wondered this myself) and they also made me see things from his side of the fence too. Hopefully you can both work together to help Bear and give him the best possible re-start. If, heaven forbid, it doesn't work out at least you will both know you gave it your best shot. Good luckx

Yeah I think that's all it was, when it's a one-to-one disagreement it's easy to think the other is automatically wrong and give it no further thought and I think seeing other people's opinions definitely helped my OH.

I think things will work out with Bear - he was actually cuddling Shiloh this afternoon (I have pics!!) which was lovely to see. I don't know whether he really enjoyed it and think they were both just trying to get close to my OH who was sat on the floor but it's progress either way

I've cheered myself up with ordering some new leads to replace the puppy-chewed ones we have and a nice new training lead and harness for Bear. Hope he likes his flashy new gear :P

I feel so much better and not in turmoil at all now that we seem to agree on Bear. It's actually so important to have everyone in the household feeling positive to get results.

Obviously Scooby is still on my mind but he will be until that perfect forever home is found for him. I'm sure there's someone out there that would adore him despite his health problems.