Bev why can't you do anything about getting help, what needs planning
I'm not the biggest fan of doctors at the minute with what I'm going through but they are essential if you want to get better, mine has fobbed me off repeatedly and I'm quite vocal so yes I feel narked but yours doesn't know what's going on so how can he help you? Don't put it off, make the appointment and get it sorted. Do you want someone to go with you?

Thankyou, I think all this has been building for a while. I have had a lot of big things through the years and none have ever been straightforward. I will beat it though and bounce back again.

I think the chest pain was stress as all tests come back clear and my heart was normal. I will try and make that appointment to see my gp. Its just not easy as you have to put the phone on redial from 8am to get in as you can't prebook an appointment. If you are not through by 8.30 you won't get an appointment that day and you have to wait for the next and start on redial again. That can be sould destroying in itself when your feeling low anyway.

I will, Thankyou

Thanks Lynn, its going to be great to have some adult conversation and just get out of these 4 walls with someone to talk to still apart from my dogs. I think its really going to help lift me.

I will get that appointment with the doctor, I just feel tired and drained and need to find the ooomph to do it and clear my head to remember the time to ring.

Thanks Lynne, your post is hitting some key facts concerning me. I have to sort myself out for Charly and the dogs, its just not fair on any of them. I am struggling to keep myself acting happy and normal and succeeding for the most part, so thats good that I can still manage that and i keep hoping I will just wake up and be strong again.

Thanks Sheree, Yes I am so grateful to Lynn for offering to come over. I am focusing my mind heavily on that and thinking what fun it will be to have some lovely company to get out and about with and how lucky I am to have someone be so special towards me, to down everything to see me. Although you have all been special with your kind words and support, but you know what I mean.

LOL that first bit did make me smile. I'm such an impatient person I want these feelings to be gone and I am getting frustrated that I can't control them. I know I've been teetering on the edge of a cliff and I am hanging on like mad so I don't fall over that edge. I just must not fall over that edge.

Its not I can't in the factual way do anything about getting help, I just can't clear my head to do it. Its like I have a mist, no a thick fog in my head that stops me seeing what I need to be doing and what direction I need to be going. Sorry but thats the best way I can describe it.

We have the same stupid booking system which is cr@p especially if you need ongoing appointments which are about 4 weeks ahead but I spoke to the receptionist and now when I ring if there's nothing available they give me one of the ones for the next day.

Yep same at my docs too and they only book appointments two weeks in advance, are you far from the docs you'd be best to go into the surgery and book it face to face either that or i call at 8.30 like you said its constantly engaged but i just keep trying till i get through

After reading your update there Bev, I think it's time for a little help, and although you say you won't know what to say when you get in there, believe you me, you'll probably sit there and break down in tears and the doc will know straight away how to help you! I can 100% guarantee that, because if you remember, I put up a thread about poor Dave a short while ago, and he said the very same thing about going to the doc, but then when he got there, he just broke down in tears and let it all spill out (I wish I was a fly on the wall, coz I would love to have known whether I might have been the cause, or at least part of it ) Anyway, after being prescribed these little daily pills, I can honestly say, he's perked right up, over the past 3 months, he's enthusiastic about work again, he's enthusiastic about everything again, and most of all he's what I'd call "normal" again, he laughs, he talks to me and when he gets totally stressed out about something, he just walks away for a minute, or manages to let it go over his head without blowing a gasket. Sadly, the doctor now wants to wean him off them I'm getting a bit worried about that, but hopefully, if he stays in this current frame of mind it will all be ok.

So you see Bev, I'm on the outside looking in, just as I was with Dave, and I'm absolutely positive, that if you made that appointment and went to the docs you will get this much needed help in one form or another. You're not going mad, you've just had too much stress of late, well, for a really long time quite honestly, just like my Dave, and there's only so much a person can take, and you've been quite a star in managing to take the amount that you took over the past few months, and your brain is now overloaded, it can't cope, it's all in a mess, gone into meltdown, you fly off at the slightest of things because your brain just can't take anymore. You definitely need these pills Bev, and it won't be for long, but they really will help to ease all of that pain let alone how you probably can't even think straight at the moment. Worst case scenario would be you end up having a breakdown and we don't want that do we. Nobody on this earth could have handled the stress you've been through, all that organising for Shady, all that worry, all that rushing about, travelling to and fro, it's been an absolute nightmare for you that nobody would wish on anyone, and now it's payback time, your emotions and everything else have got on top of you, you need some c-a-l-m, you need to be able to think rationally, nobody is out to hurt you, not even your family, it really could be the way your brain is looking at it in it's current worn out state.

I'm rambling now, so I'll just reitterate my advice, and only because I've seen how effective that little bit of help from the doctor can be, so please, please, please, get yourself off to see him! ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))).xxxxxx

Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know you but you must be feeling pretty low about things just now. I have to say I agree with others that I think they need to stand on their own two feet as I think you are being taken for granted and they may not even realise it yet. Sometimes when you are the strong one that 'sorts stuff out' and are there for everyone else, people forget that actually you need help and support too. Don't feel bad for loving your pets either. I think you probably should let them know how you are feeling though as it may be that they are very busy and sometimes, even when people should realise stuff, they don't. If its too hard to say, maybe an email or letter? Even talking things out with someone else may help. I think one of the other posters idea on here is a good one too - if its hard to start talking about this to someone face-to-face, such as a doctor then even printing off what you have written and letting them see that. If the thought of what they may say/think/do is putting you off, don't let it because actually, thats not happened yet, also if the thought of medication puts you off, remember the talking itself can be a major help as well as resouces they can put you on to/let you know about. And don't be embarassed to ask for support from others either. Remember you are a valuable individual and as worth looking after as anyone else. No one thinks your mad.

I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling Bev. I am very saddened and angered at how your sons are treating you, you deserve so much better.

You are so well thought of on Dogsey and have many friends on here. We are all here for you.xxx

OK, get a pen and paper. Get a cuppa, sit down and write down what you have to do tommorow. NOT what should be done like hoover, dishes etc but what MUST be done, i.e. get up at 7am, get washed, get dressed, let dogs out, 8.30am - go to doctors and book appointment. (just example of what I mean - not always good at describing!) Do it that way, then tommorow, don't think about what should be done, just tick off the list. Deal with it one thing at a time but deal with it. You will feel better even just for taking that step. Don't pressure yourself when you feel like that, just one thing at one time and you will get there.

I've been where you are now Bev Everything that you've described above.......I kept putting off going to the doctors, even bought myself some Karms.......Now I've been on medication for 2 years or so and I feel better

Write down how you're feeling, what's bothering you and what you'd like to tell the doctor, then book that appointment.

I think counselling would help you, it's somewhere to go, and someone to talk too on a weekly basis..........Please make that call x

Enjoy your day with Lynn today Bev, it will do you the power of good.