Well that's just it Rach (thank you so much for sharing your story btw), as you know financially we can't even think about it, but I'm so scared leaving it will mean it's too late!

There are ways round this you could do what I did and get a job at evenings /weekends /night shift . That way you don't have to pay for child care and you bring your own child up . It may not be the job of your dreams but it does pay the bills . I worked right from when my children were babies .Your children are happy and that's the main thing when you are a Mum

Pidge

There are loads of second hand sales and freecycle these days to provide with what you need......breast milk is free and as they say where there is a will there is a way!

Not wanting to push you in any one direction but there are millions of kids who are brought up in this country in situations where £ is tight. If your doctor is advising you to try earlier due to complications it might be worth listening?

I would have rather been stoney broke and had my kids than financially secure and childless......

But that is easy for me to say as I did not have to make that decision......Between a rock and a hard place!

It makes me very cross, and upset TBH.

If I stop work to have a baby, I would only be able to stay off for 18 weeks (amount of time I get full pay). I'd then have to come back to work full time, and find about £600-700 a month extra for full time child care. It would cost me £183 a week to put my child in the nursery/pre-school at work (and that's discounted), that's approx £8700 a year (excluding my work hols) for child care.

If I'm not working full time, then the mortgage doesn't get paid. OH's wages pay for every other expense we incur (bills, car, food, doogs, insurance etc). My wage only pays the mortgage (and OH earns nearly 3x what I do).

At the moment, I can't see a way to do it. I don't really want to have a baby and then put them in full-time child-care - what's the point of having a baby? Plus there's the fact that I'd have to find an extra £200 a week for the child care. Or I have a baby, and get into more debt etc as we can't afford the bills...

We're economising as it is, as money is short. We're budgeting for absolutely everything, and selling as much stuff as we can to make money, and we can't cut down any more. I just don't see how we can get out of it.

I appreciate that you don't need to spend £££'s to have a child, and I wouldn't anyway! I'm happy with hand-me-downs and second hand stuff, and I'm happy to use reuseable nappies etc as well. There is always loads of baby stuff in the free-ads at work, so I know I could pick up the essentials easily.

The only little bit of hope I've got is that there is a very slim chance of a promotion in the next 18-24 months, which would mean an ease in the financial pressure and the ability to save up a bit of money.

OH has also had the idea that rather than going properly part time, we can both compress our hours so that we both work 4 days a week (but still the same number of hours), and that my mum could have the baby once a week, meaning we only have to find the money for 2 days childcare a week... which sounds OK, until I think of fitting in 7 extra hours of work into 4 days (and a baby!!)

Phew, OK, rant over. I hate thinking about it TBH, but it has to be done eventually!

I was 24 and have to say it was not planned second one 18 months later was! Wanted them close together to avoid the jealousy thing and also means i get my life back after...which i am just doing now
If i hadnt have got pregnant god knows when i would have "decided" to have kids...but as they say every thing happens for a reason and i reckon it was the right time.
As for money...yep your food bills multiply by 10!!! Theres not always a lot left over! But who cares
I never regretted having my kids but i did give up a lot to have them (i would never tell them that ) but love them to bits and would do it again in a flash (thats having them i am NOT having anymore!!!! ).
Good luck Em do what YOU want x

My cousin HAS left it too late. She was a career girl...started trying at 37....she is now 40 and still not pergnant.

Such a dilemma Pidge. I had my son (first child) at 35. I never felt ready for children before and wasn't in the right relationship.

When I met my hubby I felt ready for children and just hoped I would be ok. Thankfully I fell pregnant fairly quickly, however I did have a pretty horrible time throughout my pregnancy (possibly age related) and gave birth to Ben prematurely. We were both in danger for a while However, he is absolutely fine and I love him to bits

One of my sisters on the other hand, started trying for a baby when she was 37 and is still childless now, at 41 years She has also tried IVF which hasn't worked. It is devastating for her. She was a career girl for so many years (she was a barrister) and now really regrets not trying for a child earlier.

It is a dilemma only you and your hubby can work out - but if you do really want children I would personally say start trying now, but don't put any pressure on yourselves. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Oh, and on the money side of things, when you have children you just cope somehow

Ok, here's mine, I, like Isochick, started trying around 26, nothing, I was also, like Isochick, diagnosed with polycystic ovaries, they also thought I may have had a blockage, after numerous tests and prodding and poking, I was told I would not conceive a child naturally and I would have to take a particular drug to help me ovulate.

I was in no rush for a child, until I was told I couldnt have one, then the longing set in, they had one last test to do which was a laparoscopy (sp) (camera through the belly button) by now with all the hospital appointments and tests, 4 years had passed

Booked in to hospital for my op, had a routine pregnancy test done as part of the pre op, laughing and joking with the nurse about how ironic it was doing a pregnancy test.

It came back positive

Well, gob on floor just isnt enough to describe my reaction.

I had conceived naturally and thats my girl Mia. I was 30 by then and gave birth at 31, have never felt the "want" for any more, she's enough for me and i'm just grateful she happened.

Only you can decide what is best for you, financially, you will NEVER be able to afford it but you manage and it's the best feeling in the world, I LOVED being pregnant and I LOVE being a mum

I had my first son at 21, 2nd son at 24 & my daughter at 26... I loved having babies & probably would have continued but was only allowed 3 c-sections but now have inherited another 2 step daughters from my 2nd husband. I worked "around" my children whilst they were young, though mostly part time, I do feel like I missed my twenties - they were gone in a flash! but it's nice to be young (ish) whilst they are nearly grown up!
I notice lots of people are now having career first & then babies in their forties.

18 years and one month.

My mum had endo and had a hysterectomy aged 39. Not to frighten you or anything but if you are in a stable relationship and emotionally ready then there are a lot worse things than having to be on family tax credits to boost your income.