Being fair - I spent a large part of my festive season actively avoiding Eastenders just because of the storyline and because I KNEW it would upset me if I watched it. Last year me and my husband had two miscarriages, three babies lost (one set were twins) and the grief almost drove me to ending it at points... this set about a long chain of events ending in me getting the dog (incidentally, not as one of these women who get a dog as a baby substitute and not treating it as a dog before that can of worms stereotype gets out) and finding my way onto this site. I know baby related stuff triggers me into quite a dark place particularly after the second loss - so I steer well-clear.

However I can't steer clear of this flipping storyline at all - it's ALL OVER the media, and the still of the funeral with the coffin seems to be a daily fixture in some of the papers with the latest "another 10 people have joined the [a social network] group objecting to this storyline" article each day.

I've got no issue with "issues" being dealt with in the soaps - I'm old enough (and TV addicted enough) to remember the original Eastenders cot death storyline (the Ozmans who ran the cafe - Sue and Ali) and yes, it was a painful subject matter but it was dealt with in a conventional and sympathetic way... same with most stuff - even the domestic violence Little Mo stuff wasn't dragged at all to the levels this one has.

What a lot of women who've lost babies find deeply deeply offensive isn't the storyline being run (although it's not been nice navigating TV schedules to avoid something potentially upsetting - that brings it all right back to the front of your mind anyway), it's the portrayal of any bereaved mother being utterly bonkers and a danger to those mums who didn't have an unhappy ending. I hurt for my lost children in an incredibly brutal way - but I hurt for MY lost kids - not for any random baby I saw in the street (and that's even after 3+ years of fertility problems before we realised we had the other issues with miscarriages as well). I've been driven to the brink of insanity with the grief - sat on the bathroom floor wanting to kill myself to be with the lost little ones, had days where cowering under the dining table seemed a perfectly sane and logical course of action... but taking another child? Never ever ever.

That's the bit they misjudged and that's the bit that's causing the massive offence to many - and I wish for the sake of all those out there it might upset that all the flipping media would quit reprinting the baby coffin photo - because it makes the wretched storyline inescapable for those who ARE trying to avoid it.

It's a shame because I've always casually watched Eastenders - and pretty much always watched it over the festive period going back to the days of Den and Angie et al... but now - no way. They really collossally underestimated the can of worms they opened with this one.

And no, I'm not dredging for sympathy here - I'm naturally open and honest about the losses we've had because I refuse to treat all babyloss - be it miscarriages, stillbirths or cotdeaths as some kind of taboo we don't speak about - because that helps no one... this storyline helped no one either.

Thats what i didnt like abiut it. Apparently the actress who playz Ronnie didnt either, she didnt feel a bereaved mum would swop babies & thats when she decided not to renew her contract

Hello dizzi

i dont watch EE
and i havent noticed it mentioned in any of the media i use anywhere.
which means i have no knowledge of the ongoing storyline at all.

what are you reading etc?

I am sorry about your loss, and i understand that the storyline would naturally upset you. I think it is a wise decision to not watch something that upsets you. My mum has lost 5 babies, 4 to miscarriage and one was very late in pregnancy due to the babys health (spina bifida caused her to not form right). That was the hardest one of her, as she was well past the first 3 months, so didnt expect to lose her baby. As she was so far on, she had to actually deliver the baby. It still upsets her today and cries (22 years later), and it tore her to pieces.

However, she still watches this story. It does upset her, but she understands it isnt real and that although it is an upsetting topic she knows she has the choice to turn it off if it gets too much.

That is fair enough, although i personally havent seen it in the media. The only thing i have heard was when it was discussed on Loose Women. I was watching it tonight, and had my OH asking me what was happening with Kat... So he must not have seen anything either... even though i stood next to him discussing it with a woman he works with

Also, that isnt Eastenders fault... they arent making the media talk about it. Its people complaining about it, and making an issue that are causing the media to report it.

Well, that certainly isnt something my mum has mentioned (being as she is someone who has lost babies). I will subtly ask her about it later, and see what her opinions are on that. I personally, think that anyone should be able to see that Ronnie's mental and emotional state isnt right... its not just that she has lost a baby, she has been through a lot more than most people in her life. It is no wonder she isnt stable! That doesnt mean for one minute, that that is the norm. Thats like saying, when Janine poisoned Ryan for cheating, that most women do that same thing when they get cheated on... which of course it isnt! Yes, it has happened before... as has women losing babies and stealing other womens babies. Just coz Eastenders show that, doesnt mean people will automatically think that is the norm... miscarriage is sadly quite common, so if that was the case, then there would be constant reports of babies being stolen.

I still stick by the fact that there will always be storylines that will upset someone (i have had that myself) so i dont IMO think it is right for people to make such an issue out of it... Its just something to avoid and not watch.

I don't watch EE and you do know about it from Mumsnet and from here. Is that not media?

I have found it difficult to avoid as well.

As was said newspapers have printed pictures of the funeral scenes etc.

rune

I think that if you have had a child you are more likely to understand the issues and be upset and if you have lost a child you are certainly be more likely to be offended.

rune

I agree, even dp cannot watch it and he is an avid watcher of EE.
I agree with the whole "don't like it, don't watch it" and i don't like it and haven't ever watched it from when the baby died.
What annoys me is that that they don't portray real life, they don't portray the happiness and joy that CAN be sustained - not everyone lives in misery do they? That's why i don't really like the programme as a whole...it is all aimed at the negative side of life and i SO do not need that...
Positivity breeds productivity

i did say the media i used and asked what dizzy was reading etc?

i dont read tabloids, nor pay a great deal attention to EE threads, etc..

i listen to radio 2, take interest in the jeremy vine debates, read the BBC news website.....no one i know talks about it, lots dont even watch it, which means aside from being aware the storyline exists and all the complaints, i have no idea how its been unfolding over each episode....not even the mumsnet threads tell you that..threads which i soon learnt were best avoided like the plague anyway, due to all the self righteousness.
this means i havent found it hard to avoid, i havent even needed to make an effort to do so.

i dont really regard chat forums as media.

just to let you all know ronnie finally realises what she has done and has to "fix" it, next friday the 15th

About time!

I was upset by the story and actually emailed the BBC as I felt that they could have used their huge audience to increase the understanding of how traumatic it is to lose a baby - rather than make everyone think we're about to steal their baby. The answer I received was very patronising - and followed by a generic email saying that 'due to the public's reaction the story would be brought to an early conclusion'. Really glad its about to come to an end - I know its Soapland but so many people learn from these programmes and I personally feel that the BBC has a responsible to ensure that storylines show some sensitivitivy. So

Sorry off my 'Soap' box now!!