The chemo hasn't worked and my beautiful, brave, wonderful big sister is dying

After 6 months of praying, hoping and wishing more than anything that she will get better, we were finally told that the cancer has progressed rapidly and the last lot of chemo hasn't worked at all. Sarah has a massive tumour in her stomach that is compromising virtually all her vital organs now.

She was taken into the local hospice on Wednesday, a true blessing as I'd only been told the day before they'd had a burst pipe, four beds were out of use and they had a waiting list. The actions of a very kind paramedic have now ensured my sister is in the best place possible.

The tumour is pushing up against her diaphragm so she struggles with her breathing, it's pushing her stomach so she can't eat, it's pushed her liver up into one of her lungs and it pushes down on her bladder.

I watched her face humiliation, fear, panic and anxiety with reactions to the chemo, massive unexpected bleeds, horrible a&e visits, struggling to get up the stairs and obviously the intense fear having cancer brings. She's isolated herself because of her symptoms she's been bedbound for some time now. All this was made everso slightly bearable with the thought she might beat it and one day we could look back on the nightmare.

Only Tuesday we were planning our night away in a posh London hotel for when she was better. We were going to sit on the balcony with champagne cocktails and enjoy being together. This evil, hideous disease has taken that away and her chance to live the life she deserves.

We've been told it could be days or it could be weeks. I've not stopped crying since I was told and then I had to break the news to my parents that they are going to lose their precious daughter.

I'd convinced myself all her symptoms were from the chemo and in fact it was the cancer destroying her all the time.

Be strong my darling sister. I will be with you all the way.

I am so sorry, my thoughts are with you and your family, life can be so cruel.

I am so terribly sorry, what an awful nightmare for you and your family. Treasure every moment you can together and remember all the happy wonderful times you have shared and let them bring you comfort, that you had such a wonderful sister to share them with.
You are all in my thoughts (((hugs)))

How distressing for you all. I am so, so sorry to hear this news about your sister. I can only imagine how you must all feel. Everyone's worst nightmare

Words are just so inadequate at times like this.

Thinking of you all x

Oh Im so so sorry Lilypup. You and your family are all in my thoughts. Big hugs to you all xxxx

My thoughts and prayers are with your sister, you, and all your family. May you all have the strength to comfort and support you in this terrible time.

I am so very sorry. My only thought would be have the champagne cocktails now.........or at least the thought behind them, I hope you understand.

Many thoughts to her and light to you and all your family.

rune

I am so sorry I am sat here crying with you.

As I said before I had this awful nightmare with my sister luckily the chemo worked for her but it it always underlying that fear for them especially and us it may return.

I am not going to stay be strong for you, her or your parents you will will I know while underneath you will be crumbling. Nothing more I can say really except that I am so dreadfully sorry for you all. Remember we are here and if you feel the need for a chat please pm me.

Take care of yourself too. All my love to you all. Xx

Claire, I'm so sorry I just don't know what to say, what a horrible time for you all.
You know we will all be here for you to do what ever we can in a cyber way.
Take care of your self xx