I don't mean this unkindly Lynn, but do you think that your mum possibly has the start of dementia? It may explain some of her behaviour.

My Grandad developed it and, along with memory problems, did have quite aggressive outbursts from time to time.

A lady I used to work with, her Dad developed dementia and started saying some dreadfully hurtful things to her. He told her that he doubted she had ever been his, she was no good. All sorts of things. She knew that it was because of the dementia but it still upsets her now, years after he died.

Big hugs to you.xx

I wondered about that too

Thankyou all for the support and input it is much appreciated.

I have decided when away what I am going to do for now. Of course it spoilt the weekend as it was constantly on my mind. I did try to put it to the back of my mind as it was Gordens Birthday and our Anniversary but it is was ticking away and still is.

I am going to write to her for now she will not be able to reply she needs someone else to write her cards etc., now as her hands are unable to write anymore. I can't yet go to visit or ring I will be laying myself open for more abuse and I am too hurt at the moment to be able to cope with it.

Gorden is ringing her today to thank her for his card and Birthday money she may mention something to him he will be the best one to deal with it calm but firm thats Gorden and he may be able to make her see what she has done.

Majuka and c14U I had thought exactly the same and it is possible but this is not the first time I have been on the receiving end of this spiteful nature Gill has too and my younger brother Paul has once a while ago. Only the eldest brother as far as we are aware hasn't but she is absolutley besotted with him always has been it has caused a rift between my two brothers over the years.

Gill said she popped round at the weekend and she looks very ill but this is what she does she makes herself ill with her rantings but I can't go round yet and I am not ringing I can't stand another verbal onslought I am too low myself.

So I will drop that line to her today and see how the phone call goes with Gorden.

For the moment I will hang fire with the counselling.