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Location: March, Cambridgeshire.
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 35,275
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Originally Posted by
cava14una
{{{hugs}}} Lynn.
Sometimes for your own sanity you need to step away. It isn't as if your mum can't call on your brothers. As you say it may be good for them to see how things are and hopefully it will be a wake up call for them.
Originally Posted by
Helena54
That's the one Lynn!
Let her stew for a while, it always worked for me. I think you're right too about that last fall of hers, she could have had some of those mini strokes, that can make them like this too. I do hope you can relax a bit today and try and put it on the back burner for a while and see if she comes round. More hugs coming your way.xxxxx
Originally Posted by
ClaireandDaisy
I have no advice to offer, love... just wanted to say how much I hope it gets better. Big hugs.
X
Originally Posted by
Malka
Big cyber {{{hugs}}} Lynn.
It took me 43½ years and emigrating to get away from Mother. Three months later she decided to come for a visit. Liked being waited on hand and foot [even though I was working full-time]. Liked the weather. Liked it all so much she stayed for a month, said she would then go back home for two months and come again for another month...
...and so on and so forth.
After a couple of years of this I had had enough. Came home from work one day to find the sink full of washing up and complaints that she was hungry and there was nothing in the fridge, and why was I so late from work to cook her dinner.
So I told her to pack her case, phoned for a taxi and told the driver to take her to an hotel, and finally got a life of my own.
Originally Posted by
scorpio
So sorry to read this Lynn, after all that you and Gill have done for your mum over the years, it's heartbreaking to think that she can be treating you in this way...I can only assume that she doesn't really know what she is saying and how hurtful it is.
Although slightly different but similar, we have always been a very close family, although about 3 years ago my two sister in laws banded together and were quite nasty about my mum and dad and about how close we all are. My mum was devastated as the boys decided to stay away more and more, they had always visited each weekend with the grandkids. These days my mum hardly sees the boys, she sees my sisters every day and I try to get back down to essex a couple of times a month, although we do talk on the phone a few times a week. My mum is so upset about it she is all for writing my brothers out of her will but my dad won't hear of it, I'm under no illusions as to which of us children would be doing all the running around when, god forbid, my parents are no longer capable, and I'm also under no illusions who will be there first when any inheritence is dished out, even though they've no time for my parents whilst they are alive
I hope todays events will help to cheer you up a bit, and I hope and pray that Gill is going to be ok xxx
Thanks so much all.
Well I was pretty tearful this morning when I woke up, but have been out to see Joel with Mark he lost one race won another so had a big beaming smile which made me smile.
We then walked home and stopped and got a cake and had a cuppa at Marks and now I have just got in too see all the wonderful support from you guys.
I have posted the appointment card it is on its way as we speak. I know it sounds harsh but she really has got to see she cannot treat the one who does the most all the time this way it backfires eventually. I know the boys will soon get fed up with all the demands and if they don't fair enough. They won't get 30 years of it I shouldn't think
I am not sure if she will write me out of the will she may get someone down to do it or get someone to take her to change it the only thing is I was hoping to help my boys out one day so that has been jeapordised. I know my dad must be reeling from his grave over all this.
I do feel terribly sorry for her and her situation but all of it is her own doing and she has to deal with what life throws at her if she chooses to stay somewhere she is having difficulty coping with.
In some ways I am relieved to be taking a step back I shall catch up with some of the things I never feel relaxed enough to do or have the time to do because I won't be cooking meals every few weeks and popping over.
What the outcome will be I don't know but I do think she has to make the first move. I think if she tells the boys which she is going to have to do at some point they may well say to her she has been very silly if only for the fact they know they are going to get more to do.
I have a feeling hell may freeze over before she admits she should not of treated me that way. I really think something is going on in her head and she is losing a grip on being able to be independant but you cannot treat people like that if you need support surely it makes sense not too.
She always tells us people are trying to run her life well I have stepped away now so she canot pin the blame on me for that one anymore. I just hope she doesn't need anything because neither of the boys it seems know how to use a computer or they don't own one and they don't know how to use the telephone when she needs something or how to use the yellow pages only I am capable of that.
They better start learning fast.