I just need to tell someone

Sorry, it is 3:00am and I am going out of my mind with worry, just need to get it all out.
I have a 24 year old son. Brief history - screwed up at school even though intelligent, realised dead end jobs were not the way. Went back to uni, got his degree with the aim of going into the armed forces as an officer. Cutbacks hit at the time he applied, so no chance. Took a job, got promotion, doing well. Lost job due to contract ending. Went back to drinking too much, on his own, in his room every night. We have supported him financially and emotionally through every drama in his life, and believe me, there have been a few.
Fastforward to tonight. OH talked to him (I was in bed, but heard everything), telling him how much we loved him, but that he was breaking our hearts with the way he was behaving. Son said he had spent an hour earlier on trying to build up the courage to kill himself. tbh, son can be a drama queen, and I thought he was just 'playing' us for sympathy. OH came back to bed, then was up and back in sons room 5 mins later suggesting that he might just look for some voluntary work until a job came up and pointing out that the reason he was feeling so sh*t was that he was doing nothing, and I mean nothing. OH comes back to bed and sleeps. I am wide awake, mind racing, can hear son banging around in room. Came down, made cuppa. Son walked in, made a comment about Molly and disappeared. Heard his car pull off the driveway a few minutes later.
That was an hour and a half ago. He had been drinking. I THINK he has taken a bag/case with him, but cannot be sure - his room is the biggest pigsty you can imagine. I rang him as soon as I heard him leave. Got voicemail and left a message. Rang him 5 mins later and his voicemail message has changed, saying 'if you are ...., ......, or ...., I will get back to you', naming me, oh and other son.
I have been ringing every few minutes begging him to call back. Don't know what to do. I feel sick with worry.

Sorry folks, know there is nothing you can say or do, just needed to get this out.

Any news on him yet, hon?

No Vicki, have left numerous messages, the last one just telling him to text me and let me know he had not wrapped himself around a tree!
Microwave cleaned, grill cleaned, just halfway through oven......
Feel like screaming

Oh hon, that's awful...... you must be beside yourself.....

*Hugs* - hope he gets in touch soon xxx

How dreadful..My son did this when he was about twenty really suffering badly with depression.

The thing was he had planned on leaving sold his much loved music equipment for less than half its worth and was going to dissapear who knows what he would of done.

First we knew of it was when he walked back in the house at 10pm and then I heard him crying and hitting his head against a wall in his bedroom. We rushed him up the hospital we have a mental health unit there they didn't admit him but he did get counselling and was really hard to live with for a long time. I was always worrying what he might do for along time too. He also had to go on anti depressants for a long while.

I really feel for you and I can undrstand what you are going through. I hope he has gone somewhere to clear his head.

Let us know when you hear anything and you have my sympathies it really is hard.

I can't imagine what you must be going through. He needs to see his doctor and get some help. He needs some counselling and maybe some anti-depressants.
Does he have any Good friends who he can open up too?

I hope he returns home soon and puts your mind to rest.

Thank you so much for your kind comments and support. Still no word. Lynn - like your son, I have seen him bang his head against walls and punch doors hard enough to bruise his knuckles. Sounds like he has a violent streak, but he is the nicest, gentlest and most supportive person you could wish to meet.
Got OH off to work, no point in just sitting waiting for news..... he says the last thing son said to him was 'things will be sorted tomorrow'.
I am in such a state now that I don't know whether to think he meant he was going away to get himself together, or going off to end it all.
I can't think of anyone he would go to. He keeps everything inside himself, I can't see him landing on someones doorstep.
I always thought we were so close, but I am afraid that I have caused this. At the back of mind has always been a silent fear that he could hurt himself, so I have always taken a light touch with him, but yesterday, I lost my rag and had a go at him about doing nothing to help himself. I just wish I could take those words back.

He knows that we are always here for him, but I think he feels he has taken too much from us and just does not see a way out.

God, what a mes.

If you have children, hug them close before you leave them this morning.

Have you been out to look for him? Probably pointless but he might have just driven to one of his favourite areas to get his thoughts together.
Please keep us updated whenever you can. xx

My oldest son is 18 and he too has given me a bit if grief over the years. I love him to bits though and always will!

Never ever think it was those harsh words I know that is hard to comprehend that that it isn't what set it off but this has been tormenting him for a long time.

Our son was such a happy go lucky boy and then one day pressures of work being in a band financial pressures all got to much he withdrew into himself.

We always take a light touch with our son and always will but some days we get cross not so much now he is getting himself together and is doing well but sometimes he goes quiet and I know when I keep on are you ok are you feeling down they are the wrong words but I am his mum and us mums cannot help wanting to protect our children even when they are 6ft tall.

I am really hoping he has gone somewhere to clear his head..Please take care of yourself you are going to need your strength when he returns home he is going to need your support even more.

But remember you have not done this or your Oh this is who he is he cannot help being who he is. He knows you will support him and I still feel he has gone somewhere quiet to think and to sort his life out in his head and will then come back home and speak to you and ask for your help again. Because he knows he can.

Big (((hugs))) to you. Please keep us updated.

Oh my heart goes out to you I suffer with numerous mental health issues and the first thing I want to say is you have not caused any of this.

I don't have much time to write, 3 young children to get ready for school, but I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and I hope your son returns safely.