Sometimes I do regret...

...Having Kismet.

She's beautiful and I do love her, but she has really changed my lifestyle in ways I'm not always pleased about.

I have had dogs for 14 years, Selkie, Jack and Pharaoh travelled with me everywhere, we went camping, we visited friends, friends visited me and stayed over with their dogs. I never had to worry about if they could come with me, just where I would put them.. we stayed in pet friendly hotels and campsites and I got used to and was happy with my nomadic doggy friendly existence...

But Kismet has changed everything.

My friends with dogs dont visit me any more, Kismet doesn't like small dogs and I cant risk their cavaliers or terriers, or chihuahua at the house. I can't go visit them either. Kismet can't come with me and no one will look after her.

I can't go on holiday, Kismet doesn't like the tent, she doesn't like other dogs, she doesn't like strange people and I don't trust her with children, so the hotel is out as well. Selkies old kennels will not take her because she's dog aggressive and doggy day care is out, we were turned down by the pet sitters too, they would not walk a dog that had to be muzzled.

My brother is terrified of her and her 'temper' so she's not allowed to visit my niece and I am not allowed to babysit anymore.

I have just been offered a fantastic work experience at the zoo working with African wild dogs, it's my dream position, but I can't accept it until I can work out what to do with Kismet while I am away all day... This would never have been a problem with Selkie. Pharaoh can go and stay with my Mum and previously Selkie, Pharaoh and even jackjack had people lining up who I could ask to look after them, but my family and friends are afraid of Kismet, they wont take her...

I feel so tethered by this dog, sometimes I hate her. Some days I am scared of her. Not that she would hurt me, but that she might hurt another animal, or bite a child... I don't trust her the way I trusted Selkie and trust Pharaoh. My friends have small children, I am terrified when they say they want to visit and know their stay will be marred by a howling anxious muzzled kismet kept behind child gates, or on her lead.

I know I am stressed at the moment and just feeling down...

I would never rehome her. I believe in the commitment of dog ownership, but I wish sometimes I had not got her, she was not my choice, my partner at the time bought her, she was to be his dog, but he left me and left her with me.. For better or worse, she's my dog now...

But some days, I wish she wasn't, I wish I had a social friendly dog instead... some days I wish it was Kismet who had died and that I had my Selkie angel back...

I'm sorry for this post...


I don't really expect sympathy and I'm sure I will get some abuse...

Just feeling guilty and low today and needed to tell someone... how I felt. Cant talk to my family, they think the solution is easy, My brother thinks I should put her to sleep, my Mum thinks I should rehome her. My dad cant understand why I have dogs at all they are such a tie and responsibility... Sio I have to keep up appearances and pretend life with Kismet is fabulous and has no problems...

For as long as she lives, I am tied to this house, no visits, no camping, no holidays, no dream job, can't get another dog, cant foster, just 14 years of me and Kismet and it just makes me despair... and resent her a little bit...

sorry.

Just.. venting really.

I'll get back on the horse again tomorrow and we'll keep training, keep trying to change her... Just having a low day.

completely understand where u r coming from...but also imo its a lesson learnt for people that buy a 'designer breed' bred only for money

eta... could be where u r going wrong tho trying to 'change her' she is what she is and rather than change her u need to accept and work with ,imo

Please don't feel bad about having a low day. We're only human and everyone has them. Some days I feel the same about Chaos. She is nervous of strangers and I know it can be such a pain that you can't do a certain walk or take them both to the car boot sales instead of just Joey or go on holiday with them! It doesn't mean you care for them any less.

(((((hugs)))))

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time

But, I don't think any dog is worth ruining your whole life over, especially if you are turning down jobs and becoming socially isolated?! I don't see how anyone could judge a person rehoming a dog as long as it was done in a responsible manner. xxx

....btw,my post wasnt having a go at u,ur dedication shines through!

Hun..I feel your pain.

I have had a hell of a day with my three already (they have managed to get into their dog food bin, and 2 of them have eaten 3 days worth of food) and now Poppy and Rupe are getting worked up when I try to leave them for 10 mins.

Where in the Uk are you? maybe someone here can help you out and give you a little break x

It's not the 'designer breed' thats the issue here I think.. Its 'lifestyle' breed, I would be in the same boat even if she were a pedigree husky or malamute... Having a dog that needs a lifestyle when lifestyles change...

When my partner decided husky or malamute was his dream dog (we didn't set out looking for designer huskamutes, Kismet was a happy chance of fate, we were put in touch by someone at a rescue who's friend had bred these pups and who had had two turned down by their lined up owners, we were looking for rescue pup or young dog at the time).

It was that we were an active couple. I did the homework and thought with his jogging, biking he could cope with the exercise needs, I was involved in dog training and thought the challenge of a northern breed could be exciting. I had a Samoyed already and did a lot of research into the breed. He wanted to get into canicross, and bikejoring, we live opposite a huge woodland and next to a field where they could go and ride. At the time our lifestyle fitted the breed. I knew we could cope.

I didn't know he would leave me and the dog a year later. I didn't know I would leave my job shortly after that and go back to university. I didn't know that Kismet was going to be attacked by dogs and become dog aggressive...

These things cannot be predicted.

But now we are where we are. I do accept that she is who she is... Its just hard sometimes, like today when I am being turned down by a pet sitter and now by a trainer as well because they wont work with her breed or a dog with her problems...

Sometimes I feel isolated.

We will get through this.. We always do. I will not re-home her... I just need to get to a point where I can see the light again...

Kismet is currently curled up on the sofa oblivious to the angst she is causing me...

I feel guilty for comparing her to Selkie. No dog will ever compare to Selkie. She was practically perfect in every way, never met a dog or person she didn't love who didn't love her back. I got used to having Selkie with me everywhere I went., I miss her terribly... Maybe I'm just really missing her.. Maybe this is just a grief day..

sorry magpye, I actually agree with this. I previously had a dog, a spanielxwhippet. OMG she was a nightmare. A wonderful, affectionate dog, but she could not be left alone, not for one minute!! She destroyed everything, was 0-60 from the minute she woke up and we persevered for 3 years. Three long miserable years. None of us were happy, my marriage was almost broken over her. And I too believed in 'dog for life'. In the end we had to rehome her for our own sanity, and it turned out to be the best thing ever for her and us. She went to someone who worked from home, who could give her every minute of the day and she slowly managed to build up her times of being left until she could manage an hour, something a busy young family could never do. I can understand your thinking and I applaud your commitment, HOWEVER YOU need to live as well as Kismet and I think you seriously need to think on your options xx

Owning a dog should be pleasurable, but sometimes some of us end up with a dog that takes most of the pleasure out of it.

I have one here, we love her to bits, she has many many good points, but her DA makes life very difficult at times, we have taken on the label of "Billie no mates" and we have to live with it if we wish to keep the dog in question, for 9 years we have lived with this, in the early days it got to us a lot more than nowadays, to be honest we just deal with what we have , and enjoy the good bits.

I miss the social side of owning a social dog, but that`s life and we just get on with it.

I fully emphasize with how you are feeling, but chin up , another day hopefully brings a more positive attitude.