Coping with preventable dog death

Hi,

Sorry not posted here for a long time, but don't know if I need to rant or get something off my chest

On Monday out beautiful springer boy tucker was hit by a car and had to be put to sleep. His spine was severed and there was no chance of a recovery, our vet had contacted the bionic vet for his opinion.

The thing that is hard to deal with is he was staying with my in-laws for just one night when I went to visit my dad. I could not bring him with us as my dad has his own dog. This is the first time he had been out of my sight since we rescued him 13 months ago.

Tucker had been out with my in-laws for a lovely long walk on the sunday and had a great time. But on the monday my mother in law took him to a place she did not know well, and he ran into a road. I am finding it hard not to blame her - I know it was an accident but she let him run too far from eye sight he did have good recall, she also did not know the area.

I am just so devastated as we had such an amazing bond - stronger than any dog I have owned before (I have had 6 dogs).

How do people cope? My beautiful 5 month old daughter is helping us come to terms with the loss. But I miss him - he was my shadow. I could not even put my hands on my knees without him coming over to me for a cuddle. Not even have a bath without him coming in for a kiss

Sorry this is long and rambly

I am so sorry for your loss.
The hardest death I found with my dogs was one when a girlie died suddenly at the vet. I wasn`t expecting it and wasn`t with her. I found going and seeing her body helped, but it took a long time to come to terms with.
I think it helps if you try to think of their life rather than their death. I`m sure your dog had a wonderful life with you.
And spare a thought if you can for the MIL. She must be feeling so guilty.
x

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Clearly you had an amazing bond with your dog.

I think it's normal that you feel anger towards your mother-in-law. Yes, it was an accident but as it happened on the one occasion you were not there, of course you feel aggravated - have a good shout, smash a plate, scream, get it out!!

I know it's no consolation, but at least your lovely fellow had a loving, caring owner.

We can't be with our dogs constantly, no matter how much we want to. You only allowed your in laws to look after your dog because you knew they would do their best - sadly, their best was not good enough on this one tragic occasion.

I don't know if this helps, but a really good thing is to write out how you feel in a letter to your mother in law - but don't send it.

It's cathartic and will allow you to express your anger, but as you can either tear it up or hide it when you have written it, there's no risk of offending her.

Sending you best wishes and again, so sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss, I can imagine how devastated you are.

Some excellent advice so far..hopefully, in time, you will find it in your heart to forgive your MIL, I'm sure she is feeling dreadful, I know I would, and you know it was totally accidental on her part, when she set off to take him for that walk I expect all she was thinking of was making him happy.

I know it will take a long, long time for the tears to stop, I'm thinking of you and my heart goes out to you xx

So so sorry for your loss.

xx

Everyone's worst nightmare and I am so sorry for your loss.

What an awful thing to happen I am so sorry.

I am sure you are currently going through a period of shock/grief/anger etc. It is all part of trying to come to terms with what has happened.

My very first dog was killed when she got into fields of sheep out of my sight and was shot by a farmer I can only say, looking back, that I am thankful that I was exercising her at the time and not someone else, as I am sure I would have blamed them ~ just as I blamed myself for what happened. It is a natural reaction.

I am sure your MIL feels absolutely dreadful about what has happened too, and even though you currently feel devastated and feel angry at her, I am sure that with time you will realise that it was just an accident and no-one is really to blame.

Try to remember all the good times you and Tucker had together and the good life and love you provided for him. I know (having lost one of my young collie's to heart failure recently) that the death of a beloved dog is a very difficult thing to take and to live with It does take a long time to get your head around it and you will go through a myriad of emotions before coming out the other end.

It may help to talk to your MIL about what happened.

Run free Tucker - a very special little man who was much loved.

You must be devastated, but, remember, your MIL will also be feeling the same coupled with the burden of guilt.

Hugs to you all xx

Am so sorry for your loss thoughts with all of you x

I am so sorry for your loss