No, I think we feel honoured that you have the trust in us to be able to talk so honestly.
I have had huge support from people here - people I`ve never met and probably never will. But I know how valuable it is to be able to share the pain - and we all have to at some point.
Sharing sadness is as important as sharing joy. And no - no-one thinks you`re a misery - we think you are a brave person who has hit a rough patch. We all have those.
Huge hugs to you.

Oh Bev, my heart really does go out to you. When I read about you walking home in your slippers I could have cried then given your sons a damn good slap! I agree with what others have said, they need to know how you feel. If you dont feel able to tell them face to face then write them a letter explaining how you feel, such as you so eloquently put on here. If you get no response or a negative response then maybe its time to tell them you have helped them once to often with nothing in return and maybe turn your back on them for a while. I would hope they would see the error of their ways in time.
From a personal point of view, I truly cannot understand how a child can treat a parent in such an appalling and uncaring way. I lost my mum 10 years ago and then lost my dad to cancer at Christmas. I would have gone to the ends of the earth for them, even when I was exhausted both physically and emotionally I still found the time to visit Dad in hospital, take him to appointments and just be there for him. I would do anything to have one more hug from him. Its true, you dont know what you've got until its gone so maybe moving out of their lives for a while may be the kick up the backside they need. Bev, if all else fails you can adopt me. Huge hugs to you. You have so many Dogsey friends that care for you. I hope that life improves for you real soon. Take care my lovely. xxx

I know Bev, it used to absolutely infuriate me, the way my brother said he used to drop everything to go over to mum's to fix this, that and the other, because I KNEW you see, that she always paid him err why??? He's her son for God's sake!!! She used to say to me "well, he hasn't got much money" when his monthly income was actually higher than hers and she was buying everything for his flat (that she'd bought!) from new, because he didn't like 2nd hand things No Bev, you're not alone. Then again, I have had friends with brothers who would do anything for their old mum, and then I've had friends who had fallen out with their mums too, just like poor Vicki and her daughter

It's not the way you've brought them up, it's just that some people are completely selfish, and it takes a reality check for them to realise that, and you really would have thought, what with your recent scare, that that would have given them one wouldn't you. I just don't know what to say Bev to make you feel better about the whole thing, I wish I did, but having seen what I've seen with a 60 year old son (my brother), sometimes people remain selfish don't they. My old mum used to make me laugh though, when she'd say, he'd spent his whole life scheming to get what he wanted, and now there's nothing left for him to scheme for! I suppose in a way, she must have conditioned herself when the phone went silent for 3 years, that he was just like his father (another favourite line of hers!), coz he certainly wasn't and isn't like me and her! Keep that chin up now, don't upset yourself about it, think about how my mum dealt with it, there's lots of people who do care about you.xxxxx

Bev, I am so sorry your son's are treating you this way

Hopefully in time, they'll realise what they do have..........

I so wish I lived closer, I'd love to come and help you *Hugs*

I am so sorry your kids are acting so self obsessed and selfish Life isn't easy at times for them too I'm sure but it is no reason to forget about your mum. I think we can all easily forget the reason why we are where we are, our mums brought us up and deserve all the love and care back throughout their lives. It made me so sad to hear that they were not there when you needed them most when you were poorly .

I'm terrible at keeping in touch with my parents, they live over 100miles away, sometimes I only phone once a fortnight, and sometimes I can only visit once every 3 months...but to be honest - vice versa, I tell myself my parents have their own lives and are very busy so it's ok. But the second there is a problem I drop everything and drive home there and then, for as long as they need me, I would give every bit of myself and every penny I had to make sure they were safe healthy and happy - it brings tears to my eyes to think how much I love my mum and dad, I don't understand why your kids could be so damned selfish and cruel not to do this for you.

You need to tell them, maybe they will be shocked and everything will change! If they still don't care then you just put yourself first, stop doing anything for them and do everything for you, and your friends, oo and dogs xxx

Hi Bev

I know you don't know me but i just wanted you to know if you need anything - please call. PM sent with mobile number.

I haven't a clue how close i live to you but hey ho, it's only miles if you need a lift - you may get covered in monty's hair though.

Wishing you well and sending you a hug from me and monty.

Hi Bev,
I am inclined to agree with everyone else, it sounds like your sons need a huge kick up the butt.

I think you need to take a step back and let them get on with it, and put yourself first.

My mum is going through similar with my elder brother and his wife and I see how incredibly hurt she is by it all, she is still getting to see her grandson but is apparantely "lucky to get that " according to my sister in law. I just find the whole thing really distasteful and hugely lacking in respect to my parents, I cannot believe my brother is like this and he is content to hurt my parents so much. It hurts me.

Maybe it is a male thing that they just are more selfish, and in it for themselves.

It angers me no end, but there is little I can do other than support my parents and give them all the love I can.

I suppose what I am saying is that you are by no means alone and its nothing to do with your parenting - but I do think you need to stand up to them and not be bullied.

All my love and hugs
Dani

Very sad reading how you feel - and theres not much else I can say, can only echo what the others have said.
I hope your sons regrete how they have treated you, and realise how much they miss, love and need you when your no longer around.

I am really sorry to hear this. I think everyones covered what I have wanted to say... I don't get on with half my family, infact I was so hurt I had to walk away from it all. Best thing I ever did. I am lucky that my bf has been an absolute star throughout the last year and has helped me out so much.

But I am not too far from you (or so I believe?) so if you need anything feel free to PM me

*hugs*

Thankyou, You are all special people, you must be for me to say the personal stuff that I have said.

Thankyou, I can't understand them either, I love all my children so much which is why it hurts so badly. I could never be like that to my own parents I cherish them so much.

Thanks H, I have decided I am not going to keep contacting them, I will wait and let them contact me and see how often that will be. I will probably be got at for that but I think the way I am feeling at the moment they will get worse back.

Thanks Lou, I honestly don't know if they really care at all and if I were to drop dead think they would see that as me being an invconvienience.

I don't ask anything of my children, I never have. If they have ever done anything in the past for me I have either had to pay because its been my eldest son or my youngest son has been so unpleasent I have ended up in tears and saying to myself I would never ask him again.

Thankyou, much appreciated.

I think, in fact I know my mind is quite unstable at the moment and if they tried to be funny toward me at the moment I would lose it completely with them.

I don't think they will miss me to be honest.

I havn't a clue where you are, so don't know if you are near or not, but Thankyou.