I agree, there are so many areas to cover when talking about this. I mean if somebody actually states they wish to be left to die when in the final stages of their life I think that is fair and well and should be respected. However the tricky bit is when others decide, even if you have specified you wish to be left to die but say in the final stages of your life your family you cannot speak and the family decide to go ahead with your wishes well it is not ideal because it is no guarantee that at that precise moment that is what the person would wish.

My gran also had alzheimers disease all of my life, I never knew her any other way it is a horrible disease and she was finally taken away by cancer in the end after 11 years of living with this disease. While what she suffered from was horrible, it was really only horrible for us the famliy to watch. I have no doubt she didnt know anything she was quite content in her own wee world it was just for us her family to watch it was awful. So I think it is tricky and I couldnt say yes one way or the other as while I would like to be able to go when I please if it ever got to that stage I would also not like for somebody else to make the decision for me and would not expect anybody to have to be in that position!

Am probably not coming accross as I mean here apologies if I am rambling lol.

Laura

This is a very hard subject to comment on and may be viewed from the perspective of many people, the sick person/various family/friends.
One thing I would ask you to consider is this, if you really love someone and I mean really love them so much so you would give your own life for them.. and that person becomes very ill..and at the back of your mind there is always the thought that they might just get better one day... and anyway anything is better than than losing them for ever ...how do you decide when to let them go.... when it actually comes to making that decision your views may alter completely...

That is exactly what I was trying (not very well) to say Mini.

I have spoken to Kenny and we both have the same wishes, no medical care apart from emergancy care if in accident and then discovered that have serious long term problems..ie brain damage...severe bodiy disablement ie from the neck down sort of thing......we are both very able and lover motor bikes and out with sky.....that would be a life not worth living for us.....

I watched my auntie die a very long and lingering death from oxygen starvation.....she had chronic lung problems and as she got older they progressed and became worse and worse.....she used to ask to be let to go....but they treated every infection and gave her vaso and lung dilators etc etc .....she hated it......in the end there just was not enought oxygen getting thru and her heart simply gave up.......not something i would wish on anybody.....

If we could have, we could have helped end the pain and constant feeling of not being able to breathe.... :smt010

My mum has said to me if she ever gets in a position she cant look after herself then she wants either me to let her go or someone in the family, which i just could not do.

But i would feel the same, the day i cant look after my children/dogs, i dont want to be around ...

I am putting a little lighter side on the subject - My mum has said that if she ever gets Alziehmers (sp) etc then she would want one of us to "hit her on the back of a head with a shovel", my Dad frequently offers to do it LOl

However on a serious note - I wouldnt want to be kept alive if I had noo quality of life. My little brother is physically and mentally handicapped and has severe cerbreal palsy and epilsepsy - IMO he has no quality of life - I have watched him grow up - cared for him, changed his nappies ( he is now 21 and still incontinent and alwys will be) I love him to bits however I genuinely wouldnt want to live that way and dont think he does either... In theory he could outlive us - and certainly my parents which they worry about as it pts such a strain on the rest opf the family....

Its a very difficult subject - I think unless you have experienced a situation in a certain way its hard to make comments or judgements of it. I know I would not want to live if I was incapacitated to the above extent and my oh and family all know this.

dani

We've been in that position Mini..........

My nan suffered from Emphasema (sp) for many years and suffered terribly, on one occasion she was taken to hospital so ill and fighting for her breath, the doctors treated her for days and she was in a private room with unlimited access for us all as we were told how tired nan was and to be prepared for the worst, one night the doctors came to us after nan took a turn for the worst and asked if we wanted them to carry on, we really thought about it and decided after alot of heartache that YES! we wanted the docs to carry on...... my nan never forgave us for that, she suffered for a further two weeks,(these weeks were her worst!) and the next time we were asked the same question again.........we let her go it was the hardest thing we've ever had to do but it was what nan wanted, we didnt feel bad after either we all felt a kind of relief for her if you know what I mean, we watched nan suffer so much and when she did pass she looked sooooo peaceful, all the pain had left her face, she could finally rest

I have been in the position of having to make that decision three times...that is more than enough for anyone in one lifetime.....

Ohhhhh Mini, sending (((hugs))) for you hun, once was more than I could bear