I just want to send virtual hugs. I can only say that they don't tend to get better in my experience. I often wish I had gone down that road myself.

Don't move out, you will get it sorted even if it feels like you wont.

Well Brian and I talked again later on last night when he had more time to digest what I had said. I found him lying on the couch crying with our wedding photo, which set me off. So we talked, and he has realised the damage that he has been doing.

Today he was feeling more positive and we have cuddled on the couch (and it was cuddles) and reached more of an understanding I think, although cause neither of us has been sleeping very well we both dozed off before we said anything. He wants to try harder though so fingers crossed he will go to the docs and start to come out the other side, I think he got a fright though when he realised how near the end of my tether I was and that I didn't know how else to make him see what he was doing.

I am prepared for him to try harder, because we have been together 15 years now, I think to let that go and to upset Davie (who, despite it all loves Brian) would cause more problems. I will watch this space and see how it goes.

Yet again, you all, on Dogsey have helped me through a crisis, thank you all. xxx

Good luck to you both I hope this has been the kick up the a*** he needs and he now gets help and realises how lucky he is to have you.

With respect, if her man is suffering from genuine 'depression' as was mentioned in the original post - a kick up the **** will be of no help at all. Proper treatment for it and medication maybe - but depression isn't helped by a 'snap out of it'. And can often never be cured but hopefully 'managed'. He will however need to appreciate he has a problem and want to seek help for it himself.

I have to agree with Lynn here, he needed that kick up the backside with regard to the relationship, to make him realise just how far he had pushed this poor girl with his constant jibes at her. If he's suffering from real depression than he also needs a kick up the backside to get himself off to the quack like my own husband did, to get some of those happy pills to get him through it. It's a tough old world out there, tougher than it's been for a very long time, lots of people are losing jobs they've held down for donkey's years, lots of people struggling hard to make ends meet (us included), all of us lose family and loved ones at some point, and nobody is gonna feel sorry for somebody who doesn't help themselves imo. He is not the victim from the sound of the op, I think poor Lore is the victim here.

I'm so glad you've managed to make him realise just how far he pushed you this time, let's hope he pulls those socks up, gets some help if he needs it, and puts all his efforts into making a better life for you and Davie coz you two are just as important as he is, if not more!

If he slips back to it again, it could end up a viscious circle, and there you'll be 20 more years down the line saying to yourself "if only", so hopefully there'll be a big, permanent change in him. Good luck.

You have misunderstood my post it was not written in a way or intended as a pull yourself together attitude. Having been there myself many times and my youngest son also I am well aware that attitude does not help anyone feeling depressed. But sometimes metaphorically speaking you do need a jolt to make you go and get the help needed. Others who love you cannot be expected to keep a low profile and not let it affect them too and allow themselves to be bullied to the point of feeling depressed possibly themselves.

To be honest with real depression you do not have the energy to control or bully people you just want to withdraw into yourself so maybe he has other underlying issues that he needs help and support with. Hopefully now he will get the medication and counselling which sounds like it is much needed.

Lorraines post come across as he has got to the point of starting to control her and bully her so he needed this wake up call and now hopefully he will sort himself out the help he very much needs to save his relationship.

I wish you all the best Lorraine it is going to be a slow and hard road but if you both pull together you will get there.