Thank you everyone for your comments.

Crysania- thank you, I have not stopped her growling any more, I feel bad that I did now, but I know chi's can be a bit snappy and I misread the situation.

Lindsay&River- thank you, I have read your article. She was actually not on my lap at all but next to me. Unfortunately although she is 4 months, she has not had all of her vaccinations... I was not initially aware of this, but we have begun them again as that is what the vet said was required, and she has to wait until 6th of next month (her last injection) before she can go for proper walks with us. I have taken the older two out on leads and carried her, which is tricky but do-able (!) I am exposing her to as many different situations as we are able to at the moment, and while she initially shakes in 2 out of 3 scenarios, she is fine the next time we encounter the same thing. I know everything is so new and different for her, so we are doing our best to acclimatize her to as many different situations as possible. Don't worry we will not leave them alone together for a good while yet, and I have always fed them in separate rooms, Lola eats but not as well as the other two at the moment. But as I say it's a big shift for her so we are taking it slowly and not expecting too much just yet.


(Also thank you for your kind comment Lacey10! )

Update:

Now Lola is (periodically!) too boisterous for Murphy and Mia! They are starting to interact more, Murphy has given her cues to back off and she always does, we try to ensure she doesn't bother him too much and visa versa. Mia seems to follow his lead (please excuse the awful, unintended pun!!) so while she is interested, she is also a little wary. Having said that, they are playing a little and all is progressing as well as possible. I am taking her with me to work at the moment and they both are always pleased to see her when we get home. So we are making good progress

Thank you to everyone who replied, it's so lovely to get input from so many different people, and I am grateful for you all taking the time to read and reply to my thread and helping me figure out what's going on in our little pack xxx