Bullying

Why does it still happen?

There are all these stories about children who are bullied, killing and harming themselves and living their lives in solitude because they are afraid to go out.

It happens on forums, this one especially, where people hide behind a computer and seem to get some perverse pleasure in being nastier and meaner than they are in real life.

There are adults on anti-depressants because they are being bullied in the work place or by a family member/friend.

So why? Are people too afraid to step in and stop it? Do the teachers have too much on that they can't see it happening? Is it such a common thing in our society these days that people can't 'see' it?

Personally I will never stand for or tolerate bullying, on myself or anyone else but I'm starting to wonder if I'm a minority.

Hi Pidge ~ yes I agree that bullying seems to be more & more prevalent these days (or perhaps more recognised & publicised?). I wonder how much social networking sites have to do with this? As you say, it's relatively easy to hide behind a computer screen & be horrible to people, but not so easy to do it face to face.

Maybe that's part of the reason that teachers, parents, youth workers etc don't find out about it until it's too late & the poor bullied person has become desperate or depressed. We can't expect teachers, parents etc to monitor everything that goes on on these sites, so they can only guess by the child's observable behaviour. Perhaps more astute observation of a child's behaviour, education in the signs to watch out for, could help? But how many parents & teachers are too busy these days to notice these signs?

I work for a large government department with a strong trades union ~ there's no way that bullying would be tolerated & there are plenty of people to go to for help. This is great, but now unfortunately is going too far the other way so that people put on disciplinary procedures are now claiming their poor performance is because they are being bullied, that managers are too harsh, expect too much & the very fact they are being watched closely is a form of bullying. I hate to see these feeble excuses for laziness, but also feel that this is partly down to the publicity given to bullying, & the fact that it won't be tolerated, so any claims will be taken seriously, even if they are unfounded.

Maybe one day we'll get to a happy medium?

Animals bully each other too,it must have its roots deep in the instincts somewhere.As supposedly the most 'highly evolved' species on this planet you'd think humans would suppress the instinct but as you point out they too often don't.Don't think YOU are the minority,the bullies are but they do have a way of making their existence felt don't they!

Another recent thread was very revealing. The attitude that 'I make no apologies for who I am, I am true to myself' etc etc, has a lot to do with it.

I hate bullying but it seems to be built into our psyche and unless we (humans) become aware that it can hurt people and can empathise then it will never stop.

rune

I hate bullying, but it does seem to be a part of human nature - to a more or lesser degree depending on the individual.

Regarding the forum, it is very easy to hide behind a screen and I am sure half of the things said would never be said if it were face to face. Just lately I have noticed that the forum is getting more and more quiet - and it used to be a really lively forum - and I wonder how much of that is to do with people getting fed up of being attacked/ridiculed/belittled etc or watching the same happen to others. That would be a real shame, as it has always been such an enjoyable forum.

Im not sure if its bullying or a 'passion' for what people believe in on animals forums....this forum is not the only one I have to say.
What I feel happens is when someone disagrees or has a different way of doing things/seeing things...the ''passionate ones'' (thats what I'll call them) ram thier beliefs home, in such a force that the poor ''different person'' can not catch thier breath
I had it over car harnesses....sorry but there were people that were coming in ''insisting'' that I needed to change, even bringing into it the fact ''would you let a foster child not wear a seat belt''.
I think people loose sight that we are just not all the same and having never meeting the person in question perhaps they get a ''mis-judgement'' of the person.

At schools bullying has always been around in the days of my schooltimes there certainly was, I was brought up by a Mother and Father who I could tell, and they would give the advice (especially my Dad) ''stand and face um'' and in my case it worked......although I admit it was only the one time.
Nowadays when someone is bullied it is usually a gang, I've had several times where a foster child has come home and reported they are being bullied and I have had to go to the school, but I have found that sometimes the school don't want to step in...not sure why, so I have had to go above the school to get a result.

I don't like bullying and I think I will step up to stop it....well so people tell me

I've noticed a slower forum since I was away for a few weeks too but I think it's more to do with the upturn in the weather than the occasional 'pecking parties' that happen here.

I saw those comments & that thread & it's something that gets my back up too. Things like "well that just me" or "I say as I find", etc etc. It's not admirable, or "being true to myself" ~ it's being narrow-minded, arrogant & shows a complete lack of empathy!

Listening skills, tolerance, empathy & selflessness are too undervalued at the moment ~ these are the traits that should be promoted & admired but, unfortunately, the people showing these traits are not the sort to blow their own trumpets

Still, back to bullying......

Bullying has and will be around as long as the human race is, its one of the not so nice sides of human nature,

The problem today it can be more indiscriminate , as we live in a cyber world with so much easy access to Internet sites,

I see no wrong in some having such an attitude, why should someone not be true to themselves, having a character that shoots from the hip, does not necessarily make one a bully.

And to be honest the case in question , may not have gone the way it did if others had not goaded a certain member, some may even say that the "bullying" had been placed on the other foot.

Pidge not sure why you have reopened this topic(through the side door) my guess is you are trying to justify your "attack" ( standing up for a bullied) on a member that had already apologized for her posts.

Some may even think Pidge you decided to do a little bullying of your own, lets face it it had all been dealt with so why the need to stick the knife in...

*Locked pending admin review*