Freaking out about wifes pregnancy

Just looking for tales of hope!!

My boyfs brother has been married for nearly 7 years, great wife,job house has everything they need. They were trying for a baby last year but it didnt happen so they went back on the pill. Decided to try again and came off the pill again before going off on holiday.

My boyf went to see him and he was having a moan about her being lazy round the house etc and said 'knowing my luck she'll be pregnant!' 2 days later and 2 positive tests they announce shes pregnant. (about 6wks or so)

He was happy/shocked/happy/shocked and she is naturally over the moon. Boyf said something didnt seem right as he was blowing hot and cold. A week later he announces that he feels they have grown apart and its over???? she refuses to acknowledge anything is wrong but a few days after he told her he has now moved out.

Myself and boyf are devastated for them both. Im hoping it is just him freaking out and being stressed about being the 'provider!' (he is v stressed at work at the mo - works in financial services and there are redundancies - and has just bought a double expensive car as he was supposed to be getting a better job but that fell through and hes paying out a fortune)

Do men really get that freaked out? there is no one else involved. he is in absolute pieces. He has always treated her like gold and wouldnt do this lightly.

Any happy ending versions of this story out there?

omg 7 year itch well that's the saying! Can't really understand his actions considering they were trying for a baby last year....

I hope he has just had a funny five minutes and returns home, after the initial shock - but he was part of it after all

Early stages of pregnancy are a difficult time too, so I hope so is ok x

It's not only men that get freaked out !

I'll be as open as possible, as people often dont see it from a womans point of view and see us all as natural mothers !

I was told as a young teenager, that I only had a 2% chance of children due to health issues and problems that made me infertile. I lived quite happily with this decision for years, knowing I would never have children, it didn't bother me, as I'm not a broody type of person.

I then fell pregnant with my son, and was told to be very lucky I had him, and 18 months later, I fell pregnant with TWINS !

Imagine how freaked out I was !

Took me a long time to adjust and feel 'right' about it.

I love my kids, dont get me wrong, I would do anything for them and wouldnt be without them, BUT it wasnt plain sailing for me, as I never expected to be a Mum and never possessed maternal instincts I should have, which made me feel a freak and unnatural !

10 years on, things are obviously different, I love them with all my being entirely, but I am not a molly coddling mother and never will be, and although I should feel eternally grateful for having them, I don't because I thought fate already had me sorted out, and then turned the tables on me, and I feel guilty for that all the time.

Sorry for the long ramble, but it's not as easy as get pregnant, be elated, be grateful, be a parent......... not everyone is the same and although your brother seemed happy about it, he may have his own reservations for whatever reason and it is something they will have to deal with together, as no-one ever really knows what goes on behind closed doors or what people are really feeling.

I hope it all turns out for the best, whatever happens

Its all hush hush at the moment so Im not allowed to stick my nose in. But I feel so sorry for her even if it is just an itch surely the shine will have been taken right off of her joy and the question will always be in her mind? Im just thinking how I would feel I guess.

She is about 8yrs younger than him, think hes about 36.

I dont know how people cope with this sort of thing? I dont know whether I would want to keep the baby and have the association with someone who doesnt want to be with me for the next 18yrs or more. How do you get on with your life? I am a selfish cow though and am content with loving my pup, and not interested in babies

Im with you Malady, I do pupternal but not maternal!

Its all just such a mess!. Im keeping everything crossed for them!

It sounds like it is all too much for him to take in at the moment with job and money worries.
I hope he comes to his senses sooner rather than later.

It isnt hard to get pup- ternal, but hard for me to get maternal, I have 3 of my own and wouldnt be without them, but i aslo have had one thrusted upon me, and try as I might, I dont love her the same as my own, if she cry's one of the older ones see to her I cant help it, her ma lives up the road and now has another 18month old son, and wants another while here I am muggins here have her first, its easy cop out I think for men to say oh he has cold feet, women cant leave the pregnancy with the man and hell im firghtened you deal with it, tough he got her pregnant he should be old enough to deal with it, I know stress makes us do daft thing's, but he should think about his wife for gods sake she is having his baby.
Hell I find it hard to babysit her son my step grandson, in case she says she don't want him back.

I'm not usually one to get maternal, I did as a teenager I was terrible, i'd get all caught up in the teeny weeny baby clothes isle and the teeny weeny shoes and then I had my son (albeit not planned - I was on the pill!) and after that I was fine and never got maternal for years. He is 5 now and i'm feeling it all over again. My mum's pal came over with her baby daughter and I was on cloud 9 with her, feeding, playing, changing. But being sensible it's not a good time for me so just hoping my body doesn't override the contraception this time (i'm on the jab).

But what i'm trying to say is, maybe he wanted a baby last year and when it didn't happen, the feeling has passed and this time round he's not as enthusiastic, maybe a bit scared of the disappointment again. Maybe he'd told himself it wasn't going to happen anyway as it didn't last time round, and now that it has he's in a bit of shock.

I do hope it works out for them but even if it doesn't, she can do just as good a job on her own and it is hard for a while, my b/f legged it to the other end of the country when he found out I was pregnant. It just makes the process of getting over someone a lot longer as you feel even more alone with the responsibility of a new life to handle all on your own, without a father, but one they arrive you find out quickly that it isn't as bad as you first thought and plenty of mums do a brilliant and sometimes even better job of raising children on their own.

Best wishes to the mum-to-be. x

I agree sorry. It happened to me with my first (said he wasn;t ready for father-hood) (considering that he was desperate at the time of conceiving) .....5 months later we got back together, had another 21 yrs....then I divorced HIM. So you see there are no guarantees I'm afraid. I would advise you be there for her, without asking any questions. Hope it works out xxx

i feel for the poor woman ,really even if he is freaking out ,its just to late , how dos he think she is feeling .

diffrent situation ,but were we grew up as kids ,there was a couple,who lived down the road , they were together for years ,they had two boys ,then the lady found out she was haveing another one (a girl) baby was born ok , all was well ,then the lady started to feel unwell (she was early 40s) she got tests done ,was diagnosed as haveing ms . so she is lady in her 40s small baby few months old two other sons , she now has ms .her husband sat her down ,said i cant cope with all this im going .he left her
i couldnt beleive it we never spoke to him again i could never bring my self to treat someone in need like that ,sometimes you have to put other people first ,its what you do when you have a heart .you wouldnt beleive how this lady struggled ,it was heart breaking ,she allways praised him see lived for him