I'm so sorry to hear this Lynn, as if you didn't have enough on your plate with your sister being ill, you then have this to contend with.

I too am wondering if he is trying to cover up his tracks and thinks that, if you think Gill is worse than anticipated, it may make you reluctant to broach the subject with her.

When my aunt was diagnosed with cancer she was the first one to be told, then her husband who told the children and my mum and other aunt. I'm sure that they would have told Gill unless there was any reason that they couldn't, i.e she was in a coma or had a mental illness preventing her from understanding.

I do hope you manage to get it sorted and I pray that Gill is much better than your b.i.l. is saying.

Big hugs, Sheree xx

The benefits depends on her age.
Someone mentioned Attendance allowance.
This would apply to her, not to her OH if she is over 65.
Her OH could apply for Carers allowance if her does at least 40 hours care for her a week, and doesn't earn over a ceratin amount (I think its around the £80 mark as I know I couldn't get it).

Yes, there are forms that are fastracked if someone is diagnosed as terminally ill. You wouldn't want someone who may only have months left waiting in the queue there normally is.

Terminally ill is used to describe someone who is no longer having treatment as it will do no good. My Mum was terminally ill, but that was never mentioned to her, and she was still having treatment but this was more because she would've twigged if she had stopped. So sometimes this will only be used on those forms.... it is otherwise unsaid to prevent distress.

Confidentiality depends on if your sister has ever at any point said she didn't mind either her husband being there with the doctor or that they could talk to him about her condition.
My doctors Mum always talked to me, nothing official had been asked I had just always been there with her and was next of kin.

Yet one of my clients was having a scan on her spine, we knew why but the hosp would not tell her Daughter unless the client gave specific permission, and she would have to go to the hospital to be told in person.

Yes there are rules and guidelines, but often these can be blurred depending on the circumstances.

So sorry to hear the news Lynn. xx

Have done some research on google as advised by OH knew I married him for some reason.
BIL filled in a form called DS1500 this can be filled in by your Spouse and Doctor they would probably of decided not to tell Gill as she would give up her fight,she would not have to sign any forms but they will inform the person they are entitled to the benefit and it can be paid into the person who is signing bank account.It also says this only for people who only have 6 months left to live so that was a shock I can tell you.So all seems above board,Gill has finished 3 sessions of chemo,she is due for an op,but as of yet no news on that and they are not going to scan till the 2nd August,so maybe they are playing for time who knows.Maybe she won't get her op but if she doesn't she will become suspicous so may be told I really don't know at the moment heads all in a muddle.

Hi Lynn, I'm sorry I understand how difficult it must be, first obviously your sis is under 65 then if it's DLA
and normally Payment is usually made directly to the ill person. However, even if the claim has been made by another person, the ill person will be notified that a claim has been made for Attendance Allowance or Disability Living Allowance. But, they will not be told that the claim has been made under the special rules. (that's if he has applied under DS1500).
However, and I think it's a point worth mentioning Payment is usually made directly to the ill person. However, if the person is unable to act for themselves another person can be appointed to act for them and receive payment. It doesn't sound to me from what you've said that you sis in incapable from acting for herself as she has expressed a wish to "keep an eye on things"
He's probably just trying to spare her and of course he'll be entitled to carers allowance in his own right now.

You know that I'm a fully qualified social worker Lynn and if you want to talk to me privately just Pm me and I'll try to help.

XX

Sorry Lynn..just seen your above post..should have checked again before sending mine. XX

the doctor asked my oh permission first and he gave it,he has nowt to hide,so maybe the same in this case,im just going by our situation xx zb

Hi ZB, Yes you're right with the patients express permission they can but as Lynn's sister was apparently unaware this didn't appear to be the case. However, it is clarified a little now as he has apparently applied under the 'special circumstances rule' which would make sense.

May I just say that when my late husband was taken in hospital early one morning with pleurisy, a few days afterwards, the lady consultant took me into her office and gently broke the news to me, not him, that he had lung cancer.

It was ten years ago, but I remember the conversation as if it was yesterday, she said to me "at first we thought Harry might have TB, then we did further tests and found that it is lung cancer, the symptoms of which are very much like TB, so we had to check thoroughly".

I said "you're trying to tell me that it won't be long before he goes upstairs then" (by "upstairs" I meant passing away).

She said "No, I'm afraid not, it's probably about six months"

So I then decided that I didn't want him told, I didn't want his last few months to be purgatory for him, so I swore her to secrecy and told her that I didn't want anyone to say anything to him.

When the time came, I knew the week before, I could just tell, (you know, the lull before the storm, as they say) he was taken back into hospital but the hospital staff never said a word about it to him, never slipped up once.

I don't want to upset anyone with what I've said, I just wanted to point out that quite often the relatives are told before the patient.

My mother had cancer of the stomach, and my sister and father convinced her doctor (at the hospital) not to tell her. The poor woman believed she was going to recover and she was dead within 5 weeks. Apparently, she told my sister that she knew (towards the end) and my sister blamed me for telling her, even though I never did.
Personally, I would rather know.
Sorry to hear this sad news Lynn. It really hits home when practicalities have to be dealt with
*hugs hon* xox