Yes it did, it took any doubt I had that I had done the right thing by her. I'll tell you now about something else that happened a few years ago. I've had a bad back injury for a few years now, and on a friends recommendation I went to see this healer, now she is also a psychic as well. She started talking to me about one of my horses, Heidi, and described her perfectly and also talked about the leg injury which meant that Heidi was pts at 17 because she could no longer walk on it, worst still was the referred pain due to the weight all going on her other leg. She also then talked about my blue dobie, Piaf, again she was pts due to the wobbbles syndrome which is a genetic problem in dobies, she was 11 years old when she left me, so had a good innings despite this. There is no way she could ever have known about them or how or why they died. She did tell me they understood why, and that I had put them out of their pain and they were fine where they were and could run around once more. She also then talked about my dad and playing chess, now I didn't have a clue my dad played chess. Asked my mother about that one, and she was amazed I never knew that, and my brother was also amazed because he used to play chess with my dad and couldn't understand why I didn't know. Incidentally when I first spoke to this woman on the phone, she said to me she was getting Dobermanns coming through, and did it mean anything to me. This is all real, and she also told me they are following me about, well I must have a right circus following me mustn't I Soooo my animals have 'forgiven' me for what I did, because I did it to save them further pain and suffering, and I did it with love for their sake. So I know beyond one shadow of a doubt that Harvey will feel the same. Please put away this terrible destructive anger you are feeling, it is a very negative emotion and you need to surround yourself with good things and positive thoughts. Harvey is there with you and you will get a sign from him, you need to open your mind and forget your anger and stop blaming yourself for his death. It was his time to go, he probably hated to leave, but he was not your boy anymore, something dreadful had invaded his lovely self and changed him, and he knew this.

Kenny, I think you are too angry and upset at the moment, your mind's in turmoil and you're suffering torment and guilt at something you feel you did was wrong. Until you can come to terms with all this, and understand and accept that you did the RIGHT THING in the circumstances, then I doubt Harvey could find his way through to you anyway. Time is a healer, and you're going to feel very different about things when you can accept you were not at fault in any way. Harvey will come in some shape or form when the time is right, and it just isn't the right time given your situation. I am always finding white feather's in strange places, just sat there on windy days when they shouldn't be, robins flying over and sitting on a branch, all this tells me my equine and canine friends aren't gone completely and one day we'll be together again, may be crowded, given the numbers, but what the heck.

Kenny I will tell you something I did which helped me with Nico.. She is buried in my garden and I put my bird feeder ornament there, it's like a wrought iron stake curled round at the top with a bird embellishment. From this I hung a yellow star container that could hold a tea light. I lit a yellow tea light (Nico was golden lab cross), and sat in the garden a while while it burned. This did bring me a bit of comfort. I think with Poppy it may be different cos I've had her since a puppy and the bond I have with her is so special. Nico came to me later in her life and stayed with me for 3 years before she died. I adored Nico though and lit this candle every night for quite some days afterwards.

The worst thing is the howl he made as he died, it's going round and round my head and I can't stop hearing it.

I've tried turning the TV up loud, listening to music on headphones on full and even banging my head against the wall but it won't stop.

Oh but what a lovely situation to be in, all of your loved ones around you and you with them.

I do not care what any one thinks of me but Harvey and I had such a deep bond we knew some of each others thoughts.

As an example, I would be the other side garden to where he was laying in the sun, i'd have my back to him as I was weeding and I knew he was looking at me, I can not explain why or even what the feeling was but sure enough when I looked over my shoulder he was staring straight me.

As soon as he saw that I'd noticed him he would wag his tail and lower his head to go back sleeping.

It worked the other way around too, I was always checking on him and he would be fast asleep, eyes closed but as soon as I looked over at him he would open his eyes and lift his head to look straight at me. I would normally say something like "good boy" or "It's okay" and he would wag his tail and go back to snoozing.

This was not just something that happened every now and then, it happened all of the time.

There were other times when, for example, he may have been at the other end of the garden and maybe I was doing something indoors. I would suddenly have this feeling that Harvey was looking for me or calling me, so I'd start to walk outside and before I get even part way to where he was, there he would be already making his way to find me, most of the time at a run, not a walk.

Some may think this is fanciful or "rose tinted" but I know it was because we were connected.