So sorry to read this Steph but as others have said you have to do what's best for you. You know where we are and I wish you all the best xxx

Thank you each and everyone I REALLY MEAN THAT.
I had training today and wasn't looking forward to telling the social workers where I work of the decision, anyway things went well and the support from them and my fellow carer friends as overwhelming.

In the process I got offer a possiblity of two houses to rent whilst I sort myself out long term (fellow carers own them) one however although 4 bedroomed and I could take another child is too near here and I have said I love Patrick deeply but I can not live with the secret squirrel ways, and the inconsideration of being put after his stepdaughters advice. So I don't want to keep bumping into him, as it would be hard to take if he gets himself someone else....which Im sure he will in time.

However although the other is still in Birmingham its a nocer area, with a park right in front of the house and in a cul-de-sac. The downside is that its being completely revamped, new kitchen, decor the lot and will not be ready till end of Nov or beginning of Dec. On the plus side I can organise my move, get some monies to one side and as the new three piece I have bought doesn't arrive till then...not have to change delivery addresses
I have not mentioned solicitors or my share of this house, maybe leaving him in ignorance for now is bliss, so i really feel he thinks I will just depart/or just threatening too

Then when Im sorted I will contact a solicitor to sort out any bits that need finalising, which maybe a shock to him, but then Im won;t here to hear the ranting and raving

Work have said they will go to panel on my behalf and see no probs with them excepting in a single carer as I have proved my abilities and see's no reason why my FS can not stay with me as they feel Birminghan Coucil will not want to disrupt him Also when I have saved alittle they have asked thier mortagage people if they will advise for a poss buy of a property as they can get not interest deals for carers

Aw Steph that is all sounding so positive. Am so pleased today worked out better than you had hoped for.

Crikey........almost sorted.......... well done...........it's amazing how things seem to come together once you have actually made a decision to do something positive. I think you are right going about this in the way you are, although it's all very amicable now, it's amazing how quickly the 'in fighting' starts when money/property gets brought into the equation. It doesn't always happen and hope it won't happen to you but if it does at least you will be prepared maybe.

Cheers xxx my hubby seems to feel I have no mates and thats why I am so jealous of his and he being able to go out with them LOL

Not so, I do have friends and ones that pull out stops too, as regards the amicable bit, I can do that till I've gone, and as I wont be near here I won't have to see the fall-out.

As I said to someone today ''you don;t know what you have lost till its gone'' and Im sure once Im gone he'll have full realisation of that, but it will be too late for him.

This is the problem with men I think, they get subborn and think you'll cave in thats going to be his downfall not mine

My dear granny used to say "You don't miss the water till the well runs dry" xxxxx

You are a very strong person Steph, with so much care and love in your heart, but I think you have been pushed too far this time.... the old adage "you don't know what you've got, til its gone" will probably be very apt. Its such a shame you don't live closer as I would love to help you out in some way... take care hun xxxx

Good for you Steph! From reading this you sound very level headed and have thought through the decision properly. You are a very brave person to actually realise you are unhappy and get out of there. As others have said, it's better to leave than to stay for all the wrong reasons!

Good luck with everything and I'm sure its for the best.

Take care
Sarah x

Best of luck, it sounds like it is very much the right thing for you to do. Hope the houses work out as well, that would be great.

Take care

rune

Just to add---if you need a brilliant soliciter we have one locally---unfortunately I didn't know of her when I was divorced and got well fleeced by soliciters and ex husband.

She fights for everything!

rune