They didn’t leave because it was a random person who said it, and as they had done nothing wrong they didn’t think he was being serious. I wouldn’t either if I had been innocently standing having a drink, it wasn’t like they were causing trouble.

The place where the party was, is down a wee lane (that leads to nowhere else other than there) and is surrounded by trees. Joe and his mates were walking up the lane, and the police drove down the lane towards the party. So someone must have called them, and I assume they talked to people. the police didn’t stop them as they were speeding down the lane, obviously trying to get there to break up any fights (thinking it was still going on).

When I said he defended himself, I meant by pushing her away from him. he couldn’t use his training because there were too many of them, he could never have taken on that number of people by himself. Also, mma isn’t for fights like that, and cant be used as such. Some of what he knows would help, such as how to get a good punch in but apart from that it doesn’t help. mma is technical, not for brawls.

Some random guy saying they will be being chucked out isn’t good enough, someone should have civilly explained to them they weren’t welcome. As I have already said, they had done nothing wrong so didn’t think it would ever get to what it did. They had no reason to, and hindsight is always a wonderful thing.

They were there for 45 minutes before this all kicked off, that is plenty of time. he played with the boy for about 5 minutes, then they got a drink and stood talking… 45 minutes is definitely enough time for that. he played with the boy right after they got there.

They probably would have done that, but they had already left.

Trust me, I really want him to report it coz it sickens me that they threatened him like that. I want to report it, but im not going to do if he doesn’t want me to. I want to be there to help him, and if I report it against his wishes, this will just cause a fight.

Whether or not they saw her hit him, he told them he never so why the hell did no one stop and ask her what happened?? they did, but only after he was outside, all cut and bruised! there was absolutely no need for them to do what they did, and they were 100% in the wrong for it!!! nothing condones what they did to him!! the threw him down a set of stairs FFS, even if he did hit her he didn’t deserve that!!

not being funny, but are you sure hes telling you the "whole" truth? If it has happened as hes said to you there is no reason not to report it. Are you sure he wasnt chatting this girl up or something? Is it common that he goes to parties without you?

I do agree Mish, which is why I said ask for the CCTV, you can see what happened then and he can prove his innocence and take further action against those responsible.

What a terribly shocking thing to have happen - this girl sounds like a nasty piece of work if she's using the fact that she's a girl to be violent and get away with it. Some men would not have taken it.

If it were me, I would report it, especially with CCTV and witnesses to back up the story. In fact, I'm surprised the staff at the club didn't do something to deal with it - was there no security? I would have thought they would be charged with ABH with proof.

If his life was threatened then it would go a LOT further than the offender(s) spending a night in a cell. What if you don't report it, it happens to someone else (with the same offenders) and they actually carry out their threat? You can take these people off the streets but if you don't do that and it happens elsewhere, you will be partly responsible.

Laura xx .

Thisi is unfornate, things like this happen all the time here, apart from normally its after the party with crow bars or something .

Although I'm trying to think from their side to, they throw a party, and someone gate crashes it, and then stays there (was it also a open bar I'm not sure) people let these people know that they are not welcome, but they are not taking the hint, and then they might of just seen a man pushing a girl, who might of been one of theirs daughter, they over reacted big time, but your BF knew at this point that he wasn't meant to be there and wasn't welcome, why didn't he just leave? I'm just thinking of it from the other side, everything went way OT, and I hope that your BF recovers soon, but I'm also wondering if their was bouncers or something why didn't they split them up, or any staff, surely people wouldn't watch this happening where they work and just look away??

Very sorry to hear about your bf, What a terrible thing to happen hope he is feeling better now and that you are doing ok, i would have been in a state as well especially not knowing if he was ok or not. Hope something gets done about the girl and whoever else was involved.

Really, where in South Oxfordshire are you???? Mind you, I'm hardly on the social scene so I wouldn't know.

Lozzi, I'm sorry but I do not believe his reasons for not reporting it, if it happened the way he says it did. No man would accept a beating like that if it was truly this unjustified. Effectively you're trying to tell us that he just lay there getting the **** kicked out of him and went home. I cannot believe that's the case. No man I know would let this drop.

Not far from Oxford, although its generally one group of family, all of whom have been in and of prison for this and that, and are just all round sh*ts really, our families use to be close, but then when I was little the boy who causes the most trouble who must of been about ten/eleven at the time got into our garden and broke one of the rabbits neck, and even now I feel uncomfy round him, as he come round to the house when I was walking the dogs once, and asked me dad if we could breed from Honey (she was about 4 mnths at the time) keep a pup, and let her go to him, because her cross and colour could be worth a bit and he's been watching her run and then said that if he didn't know us then we wouldn't of even been asked. He also set on my friend once for being gay that was with his friends, two crowbars and a knife.

Mind you aren't you near witney, as I use to go to college there, and there are some people your way that know about where I live, as they mentioned a local bike meet place once when they walked past me I'll PM you if you want to know more.

Geez Lozzie what a worry and just the worry you could have done without.

I really hope he is starting to feel a bit better and when the shock of what happens wears off you can persuade him to report it, the attack was obviously bad enough but the threat to kill is at best a breach of the peace but I suspect could be a contrevention of section 16 or maybe 18(memory lapse) of the criminal attempts act (I used to work with serious ex offenders) and carries up to 10 years in prison.

Whether these guys were serious or not is irrelevant it is like threatening someone with a replica gun, the offence is still considered to be serious.
What if the next person is not as lucky as Joe. Yes it is horrific and in reality it doesn't really matter what Joe did or didn't do the threats of implied violence and the actual violence is NOT acceptable.

I too can't understand why him and his pals didnt leave immediately when asked, I totally get the point about they didn't think they were doing wrong BUT someone asked them to leave a private party, if it were me I would just leave or at the least expect back up from whoever invited me, if they too were being asked to leave I would put my drink down(finished or not) and go.

If Joe had concussion he really should have been seen by an A&E doc as concussion can be mistaken for compression which can kill and ANY serious head injury should always be checked better to be safe than sorry and at end of day yes the hospital will ask questions but they can't force Joe to answer them.

This next bit I am honestly not having a go and PLEASE don't take it like I am but you have said before that your OH has an anger issue, now of course that does not mean he reacts violently, it can be just what you have described before he raises his voice or does what men do best and digs his heels ion and huffs!! Is it possible that because he is working so hard to work on you guys he has omitted a few details, I am not suggesting he went for this girl but after he was asked to leave he got a bit stroppy? Of course that does not in any way merit a kicking or being attacked at the top of stairs /in the street but just a thought.

It must have been incredibly worrying for you and him and his pals but if it were me I would be "insisting"(in the way only women can ) that he reports this as the next person might be a news headline and that doesn't bear thinking about on either of your consciences.
Hugs