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Location: West Sussex, UK
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 4,983
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14-02-2010, 12:47 AM
Originally Posted by lozzibear 
yep, the drink certainly was flowing
i dont get why some people feel they can only have fun when they have had a drink... i think it was all planned... and thats why that guy told them they would be getting chucked out. coz why else would he say that? so i think they planned for her to go up and get him angry, so they had a reason to chuck them out.
it's a horrible situation lauren and if it was planned then that makes it so much worse. it seems like joe may have been the butt of a very sick joke there. i don't think those kind of parties are worth the hassle.
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Location: Motherwell, UK
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 17,088
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14-02-2010, 12:57 AM
Originally Posted by lilypup
i know. some of the kids i work with say that they don't think they've had a good night unless they can't remember it!
it's a horrible situation lauren and if it was planned then that makes it so much worse. it seems like joe may have been the butt of a very sick joke there. i don't think those kind of parties are worth the hassle.
and that her and her friends dont talk to them if they say things like 'im not drinking coz im driving' 
i just cant believe it happened... ive cried all day... i even cried at work when i showed up late coz i was with him, and had to explain to my boss. but i really do think it was planned, that for whatever reason, they wanted to get them out the party. and i think joe can be a target coz he is so well built and tall, coz if it was one on one he would stand a really good chance of winning a fight but having a group of people obviously makes it much more difficult. so i think thats why he was chosen, coz its like they are trying to make a statement... does that make sense??
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Location: Old Leake, UK
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 12,080
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14-02-2010, 08:18 AM
It sounds like a set-up to me, as Azz said, make sure you get plenty of photos of the injuries your boyfriend has sustained.
It scares me to think what todays youngsters are capable of, I never experienced anything like that in my youth, maybe I led a sheltered life but I went to parties etc., and had nothing but a good time.
I hope you're both feeling better today xxx
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Location: In a land far, far away
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 41,933
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14-02-2010, 08:55 AM
Definitely take some photos, as Azz has advised. Just in case the perpetrators decide to blame your BF for the whole thing, this evidence will prove he was the victim.
Hugs honey, to you both x0x
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Location: uk
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 18,552
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14-02-2010, 09:19 AM
Im not trying to be awkward, just thinking out loud, knowing what "could" be asked in the event of taking it further. Better to be prepared.
Hope he feels better today.
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Location: Australia
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,032
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14-02-2010, 09:43 AM
The story sounds all too familiar these days, it seems to be such a regular act when parties and alcohol mix.
First off chick, calm in no way could you see that coming, I get Joe doesnt want to go out in the future he has just been involved in a horrible situation, it will settle in time and make him more cautious for sure.
For now as Azz said take photo's and if he can see a doctor so they can document the injuries as well (photo's are good but a doctor can stand up and show his medical report and it holds a lot of weight).
I am not sure if you can do it, but here you can make a statement to the police without deciding to press charges, just wondering if that is an option for him as often things blur in time and if anything happens in the future it will be on record (say he ever runs into one of these fools) and can be taken further (of course withstanding staute of limitations).
Can't stand how women think they can hit men any more that the opposite way, all for equal rights but if Joe were to hit back it would be seen as the lowest of low acts.
It is gonna take a while for him to get it in perspective that it is a reflection on the people who got involved the fight not him.
I doubt they would have put him in a van and he would never been seen again........you know why...............most people that do that sort of thing, don't say it they just do it
it was more a case of the police were coming and it would have put an end to the night, and they could be arrested for assaultHugs, Joe will be alright and it is a good sign when you worry it shows you care (just not good for the nerves)
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Location: Australia
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,032
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14-02-2010, 09:56 AM
Originally Posted by Borderdawn
So the Police were not called? His injuries "after the event" will possibly not be admissible as he "could" of procured them later. Why didnt the club staff call the Police? finally, perhaps he shouldnt of laid a finger on her? Just walked away? Im assuming the CCTV will show the event? That could exonerate him completely.
Im not trying to be awkward, just thinking out loud, knowing what "could" be asked in the event of taking it further. Better to be prepared.
Hope he feels better today.
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Location: UK
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 13,122
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14-02-2010, 10:03 AM
Originally Posted by lozzibear
Im so angry, upset and worried just now, can barely think straight!
Last night, my bf went to a party. His friend said he knew the girl whos party it was, and that it was ok if those two and another friend went to it. turns out he doesn’t know the girl, but knows one of her friends who said they could go, so they did.
They had only been in 20 minutes when a guy went up to them, and said they would be getting chucked out. they were confused by this, as they weren’t doing anything. Just standing having a drink and talking. Then 25 minutes after that, a girl went up to my bf and told him to ‘stop staring at everyone’, he told her he wasn’t and that he was just glancing around the room, and that when it is full of people it is hard to not look at people, but he wasn’t staring. She told him to stop it, and then called him an ar$e! so he told her to **** off. So, she slapped him on the back of the neck, and then the back of the head
he then turned to his friend, and looked at him as if to say ‘what am I meant to do?’ and she took the opportunity to punch him full force in the face! 
he then pushed her away, which I think is understandable. He didn’t hit her, or push her with much force, just enough to get her away from him. Then all of her male friends, and a guy who he thinks was her dad, all jumped on him! they started punching him and screaming that he had punched her
, and his two mates tried to help him so they started getting it too! my bf was getting most of it though, and backed away out of the room to the stairs so they could get out while repeatedly telling them that he didn’t punch her. but at the top of the stairs, someone punched him and he fell backwards down the stairs! He landed at the bottom, and they all jumped on him again! one guy even tried to choke him, so my bf stuck his finger in the guys eye. gradually he managed to get himself outside, and most of them left him alone then but 3 followed him out. one guy told him that he better go away or else a van would be down in 10 minutes, and he would be put in the back of it and never seen again! The maybe-dad guy then went over to the girl and asked her what happened, and she told him that he hadn’t hit her so they guy went over and told him this. and my bf told him that he said that all along and the guy just told him he better hurry up and leave
so he did, and as he was walking out the police drove down. I got a call at 1am and had to try and make sense of what he was saying. I couldn’t get the full picture and was so worried and scared! but his phone cut off and when I tried to call back about 5 minutes later, he was asleep
so I sat up till about 3:30am crying. I then woke up at 8am and couldn’t get back to sleep for the worry but thankfully got a call at half past from him to hear the full story. He then came round to mine a wee while later, and I just broke down. the whole thing scared the hell out of me, and seeing him all bruised and cut (he has cuts around his neck where the guy tried to choke him!) is heartbreaking. Its so difficult to hear about someone you love being in such a horrible situation, especially as he hates that kind of thing. he does mma (mixed martial arts) because he loves it, but he is such a lovely, gentle guy and absolutely hates violence. Physically there will be no lasting damage, but emotionally he is torn up inside. He told me he doesn’t want to go out again, so he cant get into that kind of situation again. I feel so bad, and he keeps asking me if he is a bad person
i also cant stop thinking about what if he was put into a van... and never seen again...
i just cant believe this happened... i cant stop crying...
Maybe with hindsight (a wonderful thing) he and his friends should have left when they first got wind of them not being welcome.
If CCTV was in play surely it will show that she was the one who hit a man with his back to her... as you say she hit him on the back of the neck, then the back of his head..so he must have been with his back to her... how did she then manage to hit him in the fact when he turned to look at his friend.
All this should be on record if he 1) wishes to make a complaint 2) any complaints come from her side.
Were the police called, as he said the police were driving down, ,
I can understand you being upset, but not sure what you meant be "being put in a van and never being seen again" ?
Playing devils advocate here, and by no means am I excusing what took place, but the "drink" fueled attack may have come from an angle of ... her friends seeing her being "pushed" by a bloke they don't know..!!! and were reacting in defence of her........
But as always when to much drink is involved things get out of hand, and this seems to have been on of them.
I am sure he will recover, but as others have said, he must make some kind of note of this.. maybe go to the A&E and have the injuries set on record, also make a formal complaint to the police, if for no other reason to protect himself.
Although I doubt anything will come of it, as it all seemed to be fueled by alcohol,
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Location: uk
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 18,552
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14-02-2010, 11:31 AM
Originally Posted by Emrad
I get what you are saying but when someone physically assaults you (as that female did) you have the right to try to use 'reasonable' force to protect yourself, if it was a female doing that to a female it would be alright so why is it different? Because he is male? In the perfect world he may have not gotten hit, he would not have pushed, he wouldn't have got assaulted by a bunch of people. Adrenaline can also hinder your ability to 'just walk away'
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