I am pretty sure that in the circumstances most companies would give compassionate leave. I am so sorry to be reading all this, will your sister not help out at all?? It is very hard when it all falls on your shoulders, I know that myself, you can't be everywhere at once, yet you are expected to be!!
Is there anyone in HR at work you can speak to?

Yeah there is Hr and she should know the situation as my sister works at the same place.
Which kind of makes me look bad, her returning to work me asking for leave.
She is doing a few bits, in all fairness but when mum needs help she is giving me a call, because she is more confortable asking me for help than her, it is my sisters actions that has left it to me, in the fact it would be me who goes back to work knowing they have no one around.
I'm not ill as such i am not sleeping very well, but other than that okish in myself, the doctors has signed me off with stress and anxiety at the mo with everything thats going off, not knowing what time we have left with dad etc.

I told mum last week if i need to take leave without pay, then thats what i will do, i don't really care about having a lower wage, mum and dad need me now more than ever before so i have got to do what i feel is right, not what others tell me to do.
Because if i don't i know i will regret it.

Marie what a dilemma. I am sure if you talk to the right people at work they will be able to accommodate the situation, its not as if its going to be ongoing is it ?

The other thing maybe for your own sanity what about working part time and maybe get some help in for the times you work you don't have to do many hours but just a few maybe to get you away for a bit of time to yourself although you will be working.

I hadn't worked at my job for very long at all when Dad was taken ill and they gave me all the time I needed during and after.

I have thought about that too, i have jusrt called axa employee assistance programme, and spoke to one of their concillors, he advised me to go back to my gp and tell him how i feel, possibly sign me off longer, not just for dad but for my own health and the possiblity of some short term concelling for me during this time.
he said it could also be pain from the past making it harder to cope.

Oh that is good that they have an assistance line for you, it will go on record what you have said, if you can get signed off for a bit longer as well that could help. Sometimes they pay you full pay for the first three months, then half pay after that, then it is up to them what happens then. Maybe by getting compassionate leave or doing part time in a flexitime way that may work?

We get 6 months full pay i think, not sure cause i haven't really been off.
I have spoken to my line manager through e mail, she isn't just my manager but also a close friend, she knows i am not making it up etc, and has told me to have as much time off as i need, not just for mum and dad but for me too.
I think my sister is going back, but thats her way of dealing with it all, but i am not her.
I broke down on the phone today to mum, so we all had a chat, i told both my parents how i feel, but they are concerned if i lose my job.
i told them i have to do what i feel is right and my own health as well.
If i don't do whats right now i won't have the chance to change things later.
which i think they both accepted, mum said is a relief for her to know she has me there as a backup to help with dads care, and i going round again later to help get him comfy for the night, as they haven't got a career coming today.

dads still the same, although he is experiencing bladder spasms, there are signs things are slowly changing in him, but we can only deal with things as they show themselves.

he did say he doesn't intend on going anywhere yet, so he intends to fight till the end, which is good to know, he doesn't want to know how long, not that we know, are how, his wish to go in his sleep, and i hope this wish comes true for him.

Just a quick update.
My dad passed away yesterday, at home.
God i miss him so much, i stayed with mum last night, arrangements have been made today, and i think it is starting to hit me now.
I just hope he knows how much we all loved him, the funeral is next wednesday, it would have been his 69th on friday.

Sorry to hear your sad news Marie, thinking of you and your family x

Oh, Marie

I'm so sorry, darling.......

*hugs*

So sorry Marie xxx