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Location: March, Cambridgeshire.
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 35,282
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20-07-2009, 06:46 AM
Just enjoy your time now as much as you possibly can, I know its hard went through this with my Dad 11 years ago its heart wrenching, but you manage to find the strength from somewhere I collapsed for a while after it was all over. (((hugs))). Xx
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Location: Dogsey and Worcestershire
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 49,483
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20-07-2009, 09:47 AM
It is very hard when someone you love is really ill and you are powerless to do anything about it...
I am sure your Dad will feel comforted and reassured by having you around...xx
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Location: UK
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 4,185
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20-07-2009, 10:12 AM
Your Dad sounds a really lovely, courageous, practical and caring man.... so often, sadly this happens to the best of men.
You know my job is pallaitive care, and yes, being pain free is what it is all about nowadays. You sound such a strong supportive family he is very lucky, if that is the right word to use, but you know what I mean.
Wishing you all quality time, painfree time and smiles through tears....... huge, huge hugs to you all xxxx
Becks
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Location: Birmingham UK
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 20,832
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Location: Leeds West Yorkshire UK
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,792
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20-07-2009, 10:40 AM
Try and tell him everything you can think of that you normally just expect him to know. All little memories etc.....I was glad that my Mum amd me had a little time to do this.
I am sending lots of hugs to you and all you loved ones, best wishes
Gill
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Location: Long Eaton
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 12,868
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21-07-2009, 11:08 AM
We are coping with it all at the mo, hes reasonably pain free at the moment, but has lot control of his bowel.
He is having good and bad days some times awake some times asleep.
I am trying to spend as much time as i can with both of them and on call if needed at any time.
I am going to try and encourage mum to leave the house even if it for 10 mins my sister isn't comfortable alone with dad in case some thing happens.
Dad is still trying to eat and his drinking varies, i think it is a attempted on dads behalf to delay the final moment, because he is scared of what to come.
Although the quantity he is eating is to little to substain him, hes bed ridden so nurses are coming in 3 times a day to move, clean etc and a career at night so mum gets a break.
He is having hullicination now and again, other times it is taking him a while to understand what has been said to reply, and then not hearing us at all.
But he was losing his hearing before so it is difficult to know the truth of it.
The gp has signed me of for 2 weeks, as i am running around here and there helping with dad and trying to support mum asap but i am finding hard to sleep thinking about everything.
it is strange it is like we are morning him before the event and we don't know how long we have left, he hasn't took any meds for 10 days eaten very little drank but not huge amounts.
Some of the nurses are great, make him giggle and lift the moment and it is great to know hes still has the odd smile.
They are well and truely worth their weight in gold, i admire their dedication to the patients.
Yesterday i was there and he wanted to see jake their dog, so i lifted up on the bed, now i can see the true difference a pat dog can make to the patient, he was talking to jake and the comfort just stroking him made to dad.
He asked me when i am taking buds round, so i might take him today.
Our family know how he is, but dad doesn't want visiters only us, all the grandkids have seen him, on a better day and will see him again whilst hes still good,they will be given the choice and be told what to expect.
The last thing dad would want is for them to be upset and for them to remember him in the good times not now.
It is important for them to say what they need to say to one another, just like us although it hurts to hear.
I'm in tears again, but i know i need to let it out.
But thank you for listening to me ramble on and your support.
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