You CAN do it!!! I gave up 2 years ago. Best thing i ever did. Suck on sugar free lollies, keep busy & once you've got past your first few days it gets easier.

Lynne... you go to York & have the best time of your life.
You'll be fine when your their. Remember to take pics & i'll look forward to listening to your adventure!!!

Thanks Jules,

I am a bit scared by being "so far" fro, home and my OH booked it as he thought it would be nice to relax in a beautiful city and have a nice hotel with a pool.

Am worrying a wee bit more today that something "terrible" will happen either to me or to Ben when mums dggy sitting - all completely irrational I know!! Am trying to keep busy today buy cleaning, I have even washed all the floors and washed down cupboards...trying the distraction theory!!

Went to the homeopath that I have been seeing and she has given me some tablets made of argentum nitricum!!! (apparently silver nitrate!) and I have to take 3 of these today and until I come back and this should help with my fears .... apparently (though the last stuff she gave me did help with the tearfulness - so fingers crossed)

As others have said Heather, good luck with the quitting when you start, I have never smoked so nop idea what it must be like but my pal stopped after reading allan carrs easyway to stop smoking and 2 sessions with a hypnotist.

Go for it Benzmum. I know it is easier said than done. You will be fine I am sure. You never know you might really enjoy. Once you have come back home you will be so proud of yourself. Just think to yourself well I am not going away forever just a few days and then back home. Hope you enjoy will send helping vibes to you.

i too suffer from panic attacks

i dont do crouds or being out on my own - say walking really far around where i live - i have panic attacks

it all started at school, for some reaons i paniced in an assembly when i was at school

ran out and its been happening ever since

i had councelling twice and have got a lot better -

i would like to b able to go on a really long walk again with my dog and not feel afraid - but i dont think i ever will -

Hi All,

Well despite a sleepless night on Tuesday through worry I made it on the train and to York, Tuesday was a really great day, I even wandered round the shops (well some of them) I wasnt particularly happy and had a firm hold of OH hand but I DID IT!!! went to the hotel had a swim (1st time I've been in a pool for years!!) really enjoyed it and then even went out to a mexican for tea. It was great.

THEN

Woke up Wednesday in a total panic, cold sweat, racing heart I was too far from home, I wouldn't be home for 14 hours, I had to get on a train again, What if something had happened to Ben, etc etc, I was feeling physically sick, it was horrendous, train home was 6 and we had to check out by 12, I sat outside the hotel for a good 3 hours, crying, physically shaking (it would come in waves) having the surreal feelings, like the world was happeniong and I wasnt there, I was scared if my OH even went to the loo (what if he didnt come back) it was awful. I had no where to run too, no bed to get home too and no Ben to Hug. This lasted on and off till about 4 my poor OH tried his best he rubbed my back, held my hand, told me he loved me, tried to tell me he wouldnt let anything happen to me etc etc, but I just couldnt shake it, like I say it was in waves.

Then about 4.30 I started to feel a bit better and managed the train journey home ok, and was sooo glad to be home. I must have been so uptight with all my anxiety yesterday I went to bed at 11.30 and I didnt get up till 11.30 today.

So mixed feelings here
1. I did it
2. I had to control it to a certain degree i had no where to run
3. but think I will be scared to go away agin as it was truly awful.

BUT the 1st day I did achieve more than I thought possible....

Don't worry sweetheart you are not on your own there are so many people out there that suffer the same as us. I don't like crowds and being away from home. I am so glad I have my dog as without him I probably wouldn't go out the door. Take it a day at a time. I am glad the councelling helped it helped me as well.

Aww Benzmum at least you got there. I know exactly how you felt its as if you are on a different planet to everyone else things are happening around you but you are struggling to be part of it. It is so hard to explain isn't it. At least oh was supportive to you and that must mean an awful lot to you, as so many people tend to poo poo it. When someone says to me pull yourself together I think I wish you could stand in my shoes for a day to feel it. You are home safe now. Sometimes when I am out somewhere I just get this uncontrollable feeling that I have to get home to safety. I think if someone offered me a million pounds to stay I would say no, it is that strong a feeling. But hey one day at a time you just have to find a way to cope and I am sure you will. I am rambling now, I wonder if that is another symptom of panic.

Hi Guys,
How are we all doing?

Well I just thought I would post to say I have made it through a WHOLE week at work, yes 1 whole week, may not seem like a lot but gee what a huge step forward for me....

AND i had my appraisal today which I woke up at 3am worrying about and couldn't get back to sleep. I was just so worried as time off, tears, snapping at people etc etc, but it turned out to be really good, loads of positive stuff. I really want to be on the cusp ofthings starting to improve.

This week hasn't been easy and I have had to focus omn breathing and playing with keys (thanks GSD lover) and just almost swallowing the panic when it hits. There have been tears theres has been tremendous fear and this aint going away overnight BUT I DID IT A WHOLE WEEK.... (can you tell I am happy!!??)

anyway I'll go now and to all who read this thanks for taking the time to care!

Hi Benzmum, You seem to be doing really well. I understand how hard it is to do little things that others take for granted. You are obviously learning how to cope. Big pat on the back for you. I am quite pleased with myself this week as I have been to Pets at Home, Homebase and Tesco, and might I add, all by myself. I had no choice as o/h was in Ireland and I needed dog food. I kept putting it off until there was no food left and I knew I had to go. I was great in pets at home. Okay in homebase. But by the time I got to Tesco not so good, all the panic and anxiety was getting stronger. At one point I went to a little corner and faced the corner trying to do my deep breathing. I was just hoping as I was just standing there that they might have thought I was up to something. So decided times up time to go home. But at least I managed two shops. So I feel that is a positive. Hope everyone else is okay.