Difficult day today.Decision over Sisters health.

For all of you that read my posts over the weekend re:Gill,BIL and I have come to a decision with regards to her not picking up from chemo and blood transusion and still not being able to eat she has hardly eaten sicne Christmas and can now not even keep a piece of fruit down.
I spoke to her on the phone Monday and we fear she is giving up because she feels so ill she lays on the sofa all day and goes to bed at night with help of BIL she can do nothing on her own.She was told the chemo would help her to start eating and the blood transfusion would help her strength.She has refused anybody coming in to see her BIL asked DR for a nurse to go out (District Nurse) he thought they knock they didn't they rang and she said she was ok and didn't need a Nurse.
He is going to try to get a McMillan Nurse down to see her or if not her GP we think she needs to go into Hospital to be fed intravenously(sp) and rehydrated as she can't drink much either when she admitted herself couple of months ago they told her she was dehydrated but they did nothing about it and sent her home next day after some blood tests.
We feel she will not get to this operation let alone survive it if something isn't done for her.I haven't seen her for a couple of weeks and apparently she has lost so much weight she looks like she comes from a third world country and according to BIL the lump does not seem to of shrunk her stomach still looks swollen.I think he knows she will spit feathers at the decision and needed our backing so he has mine and Mums poor Mum is so distressed she is sure we will lose her.
If BIL isn't able to sort it he is working then popping in home to keep an eye on her I will then take it over as I can arrange for a McMillan Nurse if I have the number and his permission.We are hoping this way they will tell the Hospital what help she needs and she is more likely to get it.She may never talk to us again but I don't care we cannot sit back and see her this ill.she has given up the fight we have to do it for her now.
Sorry for the long post.Needed to talk to you guys and get your opinions on this and off load a bit.

I can't even imagine how hard this must be, Lynn (((((Big hugs)))))

I think you need to get as much advice from the medical establishment as you can about what you can do to support your sister, and also about the extent to which you can make these decisions as her proxy. The doctors and nurses who work with such cases must understand the plight of the family as well as the patients themselves.

I wish you the strength you need to do what you must for your sister xxx

hi lynn

firstly i think you are doing the right thing - of course your sister will speak to you again - you are concerned for her and whatever it takes you do.

push to get a nurse in there as if you dont persevere with the nhs it wont happen either.,

sometimes its easier to wallow than face demons and your sister undestandably is just in a bad place but with everyones help then she will see the light.

The important thing is not to allow her to wallow, i would suggest a support group aswell as mcmillan nurse as sometimes all it takes is someone going through the same thing to make one feel better about things.

i wish you luck and strength and your sister all the best.
take care
dani

I think you are doing the right thing. I think your sister would benefit from someone like the McMillan nurses to speak to. They are wonderful people. I realy don't know what else to tell you. It is such a difficult time you are all going through now. I wish you all the luck and strength to carry on, and hope your sister will be able to go on to recover. Bless you all.

Hi Lynn *hug*
Totally agree with what's been said already.
I can understand your sister "giving up" - when you feel really ill, it's what you want - I know this from personal experience - so you are right to step in.
Hope things go according to plan, and your sister gets the help she needs, even if she doesn't actually want it.
xoxox

Oh Lynn, I can't add anything that hasn't already been said, I just wanted to you know that I'm thinking of you and sending big (((HUGS))) to you.
Christine

Well a Dr is going in to see her from the surgery BIL rang the hospital and apparently there are no Dr's there to deal with her case today.She is fuming with us and of course mum let the cat out of the bag to her earlier before we had a chance to deal with it and BIL go it in the neck so I am now trying to keep the peace between them two not a good relationship in the first place.
Have spoken to gill and she is calmer I have explained if we can keep her out of Hospital we will but no promises,I can understand though when she says if they feed me intravenously what happens when I come home I still can't eat.So I will be there to help with those questions and to back BIL up.All we want for her is for aomeone to listen about the not being able to eat problem and what can they do to help she wants to just can't.
Thanks for all your well wishes will update you later on what the Dr said.

Im so sorry to hear you and your family are in this position. You must get your sister to the hospital. She may not like you for it at the time but if they can make her feel stronger her fight might return and she will be thanking you for forcing her to go.

Just seen your update. Glad she has seen that you lot are trying to do what is best for her. Even if she didnt right away. We will have our fingers crossed that the doctor can do something to help her. Lots of hugs to you during this toubled time xxxxxx