Upset, but feel I can't do anything...

I'm a bit upset with my friend and the way she is treating her dog. She's a lovely lady and has owned dogs for about 20 years. I've known her for about a year now and we walk our dogs together just about every day.

She has a springer who is very hyper (he's only about 20 months old). Recently he's not been coming back to her to go back on his lead. Just the usual, when he knows he's going back on his lead he'll lay down near her and as soon as she goes to get him he'll run away. There's no badness in him, he's just mischevious.

Unfortunately she's getting very frustrated with him and keeps smacking him when she gets hold of him. I'm really upset about it because I would never ever raise a hand to my dogs. And she's only making it worse for herself, because if he thinks he's going to get a smack every time he comes back, he won't come back at all.

The last straw was yesterday when she lured him back to her by waving a stick then when he came to her she smacked him really hard in his nose.

I just don't know what to say to her. I don't want to fall out with her, but I don't agree with what she's doing.

Any ideas of how I can tactfully tell her to stop hitting her dog?

Thanks x

Not very tactfully but how about

"STOP HITTING YOUR DOG" and then try to explain why it is not working (if you haven't already).

If shes a friend - she should understand that you have her dogs best interest at heart and maybe you could give her ideas on what to work on - just my thoughts though

Have a large stick in your hand, call her over to you, and when she comes, SMACK HER ACROSS THE HEAD with it.

Then ask her how that feels as a reward for doing as you asked?

Moron...... (her, not you!)

Sounds like the dog at first thought it was a bit of a game, now he's probably reluctant to go to her because he knows what's going to come next.

She needs to try some positive reinforcement, but hitting the dog is not going to get him to follow commands, it will only lead to him becoming more and more afraid of her and so make him even more reluctant to return, dont blame him tbh !

I think i'd just be honest and say that maybe a change of training technique would work and encourage her to try positive reinforcemnt by using treats, praise etc when he comes back. Sounds like not enough proper recall training or once the dog has learned it she's let the training slip and the dog has had more control.
Put it this way to her, if every time i called you to me i punched you in the face, would you keep returning or would you avoid me ?
Poor dog doesn't want another slap, would she ?!!

I know, I totally agree with all of you. It's just so hard, she's a lot older than me and has owned dogs for so long. Sometimes when I suggest things to her she says 'Oh that wouldn't work with my dog' without even trying it

I might take along something really tasty next time I go out with her and say 'Why don't you try getting him to come back with this?'

It makes me cringe every time I see her do it and it is really upsetting me. I've even had the same conversation with her about other dog owners and she agreed with me!

I'll let you all know how I get on. Thanks for the replies and it's good to know you all think the same as me

Some good advice here, I especially like Vickis solution

Seriously, if you are quite good friends with her try turning the conversation to the 'positive reward' theory see if she gets the message.

In these situations I also feel it's OK to 'make up' a story e.g. you read in a dog magazine that hitting your dog only builds resentment and the dog only remembers the bad thing the owner did, not the good things. (I'm certain there must have been plenty of such articles over the years)

Also take a tip from the TV advertising people, mention it at the start of your walk, then talk about other things, and then just before you come to the end of the walk mention it again.

Hope you can help this women who is clearly short on knowledge even 'tho she had a dog for so long.

I knew a person with similar frustrations that I meet regularly on walks in the morning.

After awhile he need myself or one of the other regular walkers to catch his dog cos she refused to come to him. I got talking to him one day one on one.

I asked him if he ever looked at it from the dog's point of view. Person shouting at you, if you go to them you get shouted at/hit. Would you want to go to that person next time they shout at you. I explained that the dog needs to see coming to you as something positive. At home call the dogs name when putting down their food. Find out if the dog is toy or food orientated. When the dog naturally approaches the owner they can call it's name and use the treats/toy to reward along with praise.

Out doors go back to a long line for awhile, using the same praise and reward when the dog returns when called. If not a gentle tug on the long line reminds the dog what it should be doing... always getting praise and reward on return.

Then the dog sees coming to the owner as a good thing. Whent he time comes to going off lead again the owner should praise and reward the dog for returning several times on the walk, not just call the dog at the end when the fun is over. I always pet my two, give a treat and hold their collars before letting them run off again.

I think with someone like this it's important to explain it fromt he dogs point of view and talk to them on level terms. Try not to judge them for their behaviour, because it just turns them off from listening to any advice you have to offer.

The guy I spoke to now has a dog that has great recall and is focused on him when they go walking. He discovered that she has a passion for tennis balls and this is what he uses out on walks. Their relationship is so much better as a result!

I would take some treats and recall her dog YOURSELF while you're out together. When she sees that the dog will come for YOU, she might take the hint.

I don`t understand why you don`t just say `she won`t come back if you slap her! Here - try it this way...` Now that`s not offensive, just factual. If she subsequently tells you to fornicate and expire THEN you can get offensive.

Yep, my answer too! I don't care how old she is or how long she's owned dogs. She's WRONG!!!!!