Free single and just a bit sad

Well after being with my man for 9 years we have decided tonight to split up
We both know it is the best thing to do and its what we both wanted
But its still not easy

I wouldnt normaly post anything personal like this on a public forum but at the moment in time I cant tell anyone

See in 3 weeks time my friends are getting married and I really dont want any pressure on her so I cant tell anyone cos it will get back to her
So we have to pretend for 3 weeks

Sucks, I know it is a positive thing and it will be all right in the end, but at the moment I just feel so old and friendless

In the past couple of years all my friends have moved away, had kids or got married and hardly ever go out any more so most weekends it has just been me and the bloke

How do I start my life again??

anyway, pulling my socks up, stiffening the upper lip
Thankyou for listning

Im sure things will work out for you, Its good if things are friendly with your ex, hugs hun, this could be a good time to look into other things with the dog,,, poss start at a new club doing something a bit diff,,,x

Know how you feel. Keep yourself busy and get yourself doing stuff that involves interaction with other people. I chose the gym. Doing stuff gets your self confidence up again and after a while everything will just click into place.

Honest.

Even when you know it is right to end it, it is still hard. The others are right about finding something to fill your time and help you meet some new people.
If you need someone to chat to, you know where I am. Take care xx

So sorry to hear that you have decided to split, but if its right for both of you then its the only option.

Once your friends wedding is out of the way you will be able to relax a bit and look forward to the future, who knows what will happen, fingers crossed that everything thats good in the world will come your way. xxx

Hi Pam I am sorry the relationship didn't work out for you (hug) .

We humans are very resilient and learn to cope with new situations very well. As the days go by things should start to look less bleak and you may even begin to notice some positive aspects to being single .

We seem to have been conditioned by society into believing we must have a partner at all costs and it is almost an admission of failure to say you are single. I think this is a shame and being single is underrated. I have been widowed and single for a very long time. I love living alone and having complete Independence and wouldn't have it any other way.

So come on, now is a good time for you to try new things, don't look back look forward and make the best of freedom while you can, you may not have it for long .

Oh, Pam, I'm really sorry to hear this, but it seems like it's a joint decision, and I'm sure it's one neither of you have taken lightly.

As Mini says, being single can be a pleasure - no one to answer to has to be a plus for a start!

We are all here for you, honey.

Big hugs x0x

Sorry to hear this, though if you are both in agreement, it must be for the best, just, as you say, painful at first.

There are bound to be things that you like to do which he was never keen on - have a think about what they were and then get out and do them

If you're ever at a loose end at the weekends, you're welcome to come and spend the day with me down my way, or to meet up somewhere with the dogs for a good walk and chin wag (or a silent walk if you prefer )

As long as you remember why you are breaking up and stay positive, you will get through this. (((hugs)))

Thankyou all so much
Yes I will be getting myself and the dog out more
It does mean my weekends are free for the agility shows when they start up again )

Totaly agree that the socity is too stuck up on everyone having to be in couples, I have never felt the need to always have to have a man

I guess its all new at the moment but you guys have really helped, thankyou so much
I felt a bit daft after I had hit submit last night but I am glad I did cos it is amazing what support and real friends you can have out there that you have never even met

Thankyou all

Hi Pam there you go, you have started to 'see the positives' already.

You shouldn't feel daft at all, most people go through bad patches for various reasons and need a little support at those times . I felt really down when my son left home for the last time. I knew he would have to leave one day but it was still a painful time for me, it had been just the two of us since he was six. I coped by cleaning the house from top to bottom so I was physically tired, this helped me to sleep. I also gave myself little rewards so there was always something to look forward too, things like a special meal and bottle of wine, a trip our somewhere interesting with my dog, a Video curled up on the sofa. I also joined Dogsey at the time, it had just been launched.
Time passed and soon I settled into my new routine and life looked pretty good once more