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Shey
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Location: Nottingham, UK
Joined: Sep 2010
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13-10-2010, 11:21 AM
Originally Posted by Jadey View Post
I'm not a big fan of children tbh.

I'm 1 of 2. My mum had me quite young (20) and was a single parent. She worked really hard for everything we had, i always had everything i wanted; food, clothes, pets, outings, hobbies... she paid for every hobby you can imagine from horse riding lessons to ice skating lessons gymnastics for 6 years... and i'm very thankful to her for it!

She then met my step-dad when i was about 7/8 i think around that age and when i was 16 (2 months off 17) my little sister was born VERY big age gap i think... i'm now 19 and she's 2.

I really don't like children at this moment in time i'm not broody at all, when i see one i think aww thats cute and move on. I like children in the family but anyone else's and they just annoy me and i want them to leave me alone tbh... they seem to flock to me they know i don't like them

My OH has 3 brothers and sister and really wants 5/6 children I was my mums birthing partner and lets just say it's put me off wanting children ouchhhh!!!!

I want to live my life first and make sure i'm married, settled with a good job and enough money for one.
About 15 girls in my year at school now have children (some whilst still at school) and i just think why eurgh haha

Although i'd be quite happy just having lots of animals instead OH not a big fan of animals though so we'll have to come to an agreement haha

Im 20 so only one year older than you and yeh Thats like all the girls from my school most started having them from 15 years old and now basically all of them have one most of their children are like 2-3 years old some even older its crazy i dont think alot of them think about the bigger picture just copy everyone else
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Cassius
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13-10-2010, 11:35 AM
I used to hate kids. As I got older, I would be happy to be around kids so long as I could give them back!

I had Oscar when I was 30 and although he alone is enough for me as a single parent to cope with, I do wonder if I'd have more if I didn't have the dogs (although dogs are easier to cope with).

I do find myself now far less tolerant of other peoples' children, particularly if I've worked hard to teach Oscar something (re manners, discipline etc) and some snot-nosed little brat ruins it because he's spoilt and does as he pleases.
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IsoChick
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13-10-2010, 11:46 AM
I don't have any children, but would like them eventually. However, I'm not horribly broody, so if for some reason I couldn't have them, then fair enough.

I'm 30 (and have been married for 8 years), so I suppose I've only got a limited number of years left to decide.

My most limiting factor is money unfortunately. Everything we earn goes into paying off debts that we accumulated when we were younger.

We budget hard, and have no spare cash, or savings. This means that I could only take the minimum time off work; but wouldn't be able to afford childcare for when I'm back at work (at over 600 per month). Given what we both earn, and the current situation with benefits, I doubt we'd be eligible for any extra help with finances.
Bit of a catch-22 situation really.
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josshun
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13-10-2010, 12:46 PM
hi all
i have 3 2 boy's my daughter was my last if she had of been my first she would have been my last boy was she a winge now she has 2 children 1 of each there great glad my grandaughter is nothing like her mam
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Lizzy23
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13-10-2010, 02:05 PM
I have none,and have no desire for any, and never have done, went through a stage just after we got married where everyone was pressuring us by asking when we going to have a family, and in the end sat down and thought about it, and decided i had no maternal instincts, (Neither did DOH) and why should we have kids just to please our families.

I do have a niece and another one on the way who i adore, but even when alice was born i had no urge to go down that road, give me 4 legs and fur anyday
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Jadey
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13-10-2010, 10:48 PM
Originally Posted by Shey View Post
Im 20 so only one year older than you and yeh Thats like all the girls from my school most started having them from 15 years old and now basically all of them have one most of their children are like 2-3 years old some even older its crazy i dont think alot of them think about the bigger picture just copy everyone else
Yeah i never understood it But the thing that makes me smile is they were all the 'popular girls' that used to bully me and my mum always said they'll be the ones that ruin their lives and get pregnant... mothers are always right!

Two had children during GCSE's There was a few abortions as well and now via [a social network] it appears most of the stuck up cows in my year have children. Ones just had one and is really happy about it... i don't know why But then again i don't like children
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teenytiny
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17-10-2010, 10:18 PM
Some very interesting comments on this thread. I didn't realise so many people don't actually want children, but that maybe because all of my friends have them. I'll probably upset the apple cart here, seeing as most people think more than 3 is too many... but I have 5 children. Mine are 12, 9, 5, 16 months and 7 weeks. Firstly, I'd like to point out that I have time for all of my children, and more importantly they have time for each other too. Secondly, my family do not depend on benefits. My partner works full time, but due to having a large family we also get Tax Credits too. We have not always got these, only this last tax year. My partner is self employed so it depends on his wages as to whether we get tax credits or not. Anyway, I feel that is no one else's business but ours, but this topic makes me feel as though I have to justify my financial situation because most of the general public assume couples with large families are living on benefits alone. Thirdly, we do not live in a council house, we privately rent. We have lived in a 4 bedroom since having our third child, so have had the room to extend our family. Again, I don't see why large families should explain their living situation either - just because people 'assume' they live in council accommodation. I have always worked, but since having our 4th child I have not worked. I am a full time mum now. The reason we can afford to have a large family is because we don't live beyond our means. We don't have a 50 inch plasma T.V with real leather reclining 3 piece suite in the living room. We don't have T.V's in every room in the house, every single channel on the cable T.V, brand new car, etc etc. We have a 4x4 yes, but it is old. We have a flat screen T.V yes, but it's only a 32 inch. I buy childrens clothes from supermarkets and sales, not Gap and Monsoon Nice clothes get passed down to siblings. We are not poor, none of my family go without, I wouldn't have them if that was the case. I have 4 girls and 1 boy. I'd love just 1 more, but maybe in a few years time if the time is right
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madmare
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18-10-2010, 05:24 AM
I have 2 grown up sons and I have also bought up my grandaughter from birth and she is now 19 years old, so through her choice I call her my daughter and she refers to me as mum.
I love them all dearly and have really enjoyed being a mum to them even though I am not a children person. My husband was tragically killed when my sons were just 6 and 4 years so I have struggled to bring them all up on my own and worked hard to support them the best I can until a couple of years ago when I had to stop work because of my health.
I am not a child orientated person and looking at how the world is going if I had my time over again I wouldn't have children and bring them into this world, I hate to think what it will be like in 20 or 30 years time for them.
I have grandchildren now and although I love them very much too, I don't really do that much with them apart from visit them etc.
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Cassius
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18-10-2010, 08:19 AM
I must admit that as I've got older I would have liked more. But then I think of the time, money, effort that goes into bringing up another child from birth and it's those first 12 months that I really don't want to go through again.

Also, as I take extremely strong, addictive medication, itwould be dangerous for me to even consider getting pregnant again. Aside from that, it's alittle difficult to reproduce on my own (as my OH doens't want any kids - although he keeps changing his mind!)

Everyone who has kids is entitled (atm) to child benefit and child tax credits. Those who are working below a certain level are also entitled to working tax credits. So there are probably many people out there who would be able to afford to have a family but aren't claiming what they're entitled to.

I'm not saying start a family to get benefits. But if you are genuinely entitled to something, I think you should claim - particularly if you've always worked hard and paid into the system. Why shouldn't you get something back from it?

I also am surprised at the seemingly high number of people who don't want children. When I was younger I felt guilty at not wanting any. I was old to have my first child at 30 compared withthe rest of my family. Usually, members of my family have at least 2-4 kids and they've had the by the time they're around 25.

I do wish sometimes that I'd had Oscar when I was much younger. Then now he'd be grown and able to do more or less what he wants to do. Although then I'd be missing out now on what he does, what he learns, how he plays etc. Also, I don't think I'd have appreciated him as much when I was younger. I'm very grateful that I have him.
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