Very sorry to hear this H.
Hope all your good and happy memories you had together, can help you through this sad time.

Thanks Hades. AS you can imagine Zena is smothering me in her very special kisses at the moment, that's why she was sent to me you know, and I knew that way, way back, I knew she would know what to do when the time came, and sadly the time has now come.xxx

No Lorna, I saw her afterwards, which I thought I couldn't do, but I had to zoom over there before they took her away, so that I could kiss her one more time and so did Dave, and I thanked her for being the best mum anyone could have wished for, and I opened the window to let her spirit free.

That sounds lovely what you did for your mum, and now I know only too well myself how much your heart must have broken at such a young age.xxxxxx

Sorry H, I misread I thought she was still with you when you did that, tears clouded my reading ability. It was hard, but as the time passes its the things you do for them in life and afterwards that comforts you. She would be so proud of you xxx

I'm going to do the same too, Aitch - take a leaf out of your mum's book and leave naff-all. Anything left, then Blue Cross can have it, and the humans can beggar off.

Huge hugs honey........ I know who one of them is, and I don't blame you for being angry

x0x0x

My ambition is to die not only leaving zilch but I would like to have a huge tax bill for the inland revenue and the hangers on to sort out

I think I can do the first but the second will require precision timing which I'm not too good at

I'm sorry you're having these problems with people suddenly appearing when they've not made contact for years. It just adds to the heartache. We had a little of this when my father died but not to the extent you've described. I feel sorry for you 'cos sometimes the only solution is a punch on the nose which of course you can't do, or can you

Oh Helena. I was so sorry to read this.
Losing a parent is one of the hardest things, especially when you had been so close to her.
As time passes you'll find it easier to remember the happier times but for now take care of yourself. xx

So are we Vicki, but it's the local dog's home that's getting all ours!

Then you'll know exactly what I'm dealing with here won'tcha! At least now they know there's nothing, then they can only expect exactly that!

If you wish for it enough H, it'll happen don't worry,just as long as you're the last of the good ones to go of course, you don't want to be lumbering any of them with a huge tax demand do ya!!!!

Thanks Dale's mum, it's very hard indeed, and the times I prepared and prepared myself for this, nothing could have hit me any harder than when it actually came

Well, all sorted! The registrar's went smoothly I had all the documents she needed, and thank God I had her marraige certificates too, to know some things I just wouldn't have known, the place of birth was quite a long one in Polish! Went to the care home and got that lovely dress, and her teeth Lol! which I've been carrying around in my handbag ever since!!! I dressed up very smart this morning too, just because mum would have liked that, she always looked so very smart herself, and I just wanted to do it for some strange reason, even put on the heels for her! I was doing exceptionally well, my friend couldn't believe how efficient, calm and collected I was until....... we were at the Funeral Director's and he just happened to ask me "and you are your mother's daughter" Well, that just did it for me, I wailed and wailed and got hugged lots! You see, I can remember from my very early days, wherever we went, mum would always drag me out of the crowd and say with great pride "and this is my daughter" and it just choked me right up I can tell ya! We managed to get on with all the arrangements, so job done, and I need him to do as much as possible coz I told him I don't want the whole World ringing me up to ask me this, that and the other coz I just can't cope at the moment, she he said he will. I chose a gorgeous purple and white "MUM" flowers and although she didn't want any, she's having them, but I'm sure she'll let me off this time. I have waited to get a very special Father that I wanted to do the small service, and he can't do it until next Tuesday at 10.20, so that's my birthday well out of the way and it will give the others time to get here and get organised from abroad.

I have made amends with them when I gave them the funeral date, I apologised for venting off in my state of anger yesterday, because quite honestly, mum wouldn't want me to be like that with them, and this is her day afterall, so I will be as civil as possible in the full knowledge that mum will be happy and after that day I will never have to clap eyes on them ever again, that's the way I look at it now. They know the score now regarding the estate, they can see the will, see they're not getting a mention and that will be that (I was gonna put something else there but thought better of it! Lol!)

Feel heeps better now I've got everything organised, I've just got to get Dave a nice pair of black trousers and shoes and we can give her the send off she deserves. I've chosen Moon River by the Mancinni Orchestra, Tony Bennett singing For the Good Life and Perry Como singing For the Good Times which I know she loved, but of course, they too, will bring back such happy memories for me when she was partying like mad every night!!!!! My two favourite Poems too, All is Well (so apt for me and mum) and Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep! All so lovely for such a lovely woman!

Feeling good now! Thanks all.xxxxxx You've helped me get here in one piece.xxxxxxxxxx

You have just brought back so many memories for me Helena and I know you will cope on the day. We also had do not stand at my grave and weep" one of the bits of music we had was Jimmy Nail singing " Big River" a song about the River Tyne and as her funeral was in Newcastle there wasnt a dry eye in the house.

We will all be thinking of you,

Jeanette

Lovely choices for her send off hon, really lovely she'll be so proud of you!!

You're in my thoughts lots right now, here if you need a rant xxx

Thanks Jeanette, you've certainly been around for all my ups and downs haven't you! I remember the good laugh we had about those commodes too, but of course YOU are the Queen of Commodes! Lol!xxxx

Thanks Lorna, and that's exactly what I want, she was always so very, very proud of me, I know that coz I was usually there when she said it to people, and how embarrassing it became to me in my late teens, but now that I'm much,much older it brings a warm glow knowing that she really did mean that, she even told me right up to the end only last week in hospital, when she called me "darling" and reached for my hand to tell me nobody could have a daughter as good as me, but I'm sure there are many others out there too, just like there are many wonderful mums just like her somewhere. I just thank God I got to say everything I ever wanted to say, ask her everything I ever wanted to ask, and now that I've actually found out how to spell her maiden surname instead of the way I was spelling it, you never know, I might be able to find stuff out on the internet about what happened to her family, coz we tried in vain, but I was spelling it all wrong until I caught sight of her original first marraige certificate this morning which was lurking in all the paperwork I rescued from her flat! It'll give me something to do, I'm sure the days will be quite empty after next Tuesday even though she wasn't in the house, she was only just up the road, so I was always popping in.