lol... you most certainly can have cake too!

i would do that - asa it was one of the things I was looking forward to about having a dog again, but unfortunately, at the moment (we are working on it) Dudley really hates other people and dogs. makes it very difficult to chat to people when your dog is gnawing on their leg or ripping their chihuahua to shreds... lol

xx

dear zoundz go to student union if they are as good as here in brighton you should get stacks of help and friends geoff

lol... what do you mean by students union? the bar? or just join some of the student clubs? I would do both - but i don't drink anymore (kidneys *ahem*) so my chances of making friends are limited - mainly because people here do nothing BUT drink. I really don't like clubs etc... and I did join a few societies this year - but most of them seem to be centered around meeting in the local for a few jars. ah well... maybe I'm out of touch with the youth of today

xx

Cake? Cake?
*calculating milage.....*

Aw I'm the same. I only have a couple of friends to go to pubs with and I would prefer something a bit more involved than just wandering from pub to pub. When I was younger I had lots of friends but I guess people get older, get partners and maybe have kids so have other priorities. I'd love a group of mates like in 'Friends' or 'S*x and the City' to do long coffee afternoons/wine evenings and sports with, but I'm not convinced that these are true representations of reality tbh. I know it can get really lonely.

As others have said, walking the dog is a great way to get chatting to people and you could always suggest meeting up for walks when you feel confident or even walks to a local cafe or pub for lunch. Might lead to some great friendships, you never know.

You don't have to drink to socialise. My OH doesn't drink at all but he can still socialise, although he hates the pubby thing too.

What about clubs and sports at Uni? There are lots of sports you can do - energetic ones like running, rugby or squash, or less active ones like archery. You don't have to always participate, you could offer to umpire or something. What about hobbies? You could do art, pottery, sewing, cooking, embroidery, car maintenance - anything like that. Or a study group with people from your course? A music club, either playing or listening. Debating club? Book club? Chess club? Film club? If not through Uni, in your local area?

You might have to be quite proactive here and might even have to try to organise things yourself. I've discovered that people forget you quite easily if you hang back and are reticent to make the first move and sometimes you have to make a huge effort to be sociable, even though it is hard and you might find yourself doubting your abilities or worthiness. And don't expect to meet a best mate right away. Try to look on it as a way to meet lots and lots of interesting and diverse people.

One last suggestion is voluntary work. There are loads of opportunities out there from animals to children to help the aged. Might be worth a try?

Good luck.

a lot of very good points there. I would love to join some clubs - i am painfully shy and rooms full of people really upset me... although, I suppose if you don't try you never get anywhere. I love art etc and pottery and I've been playing music for year, I play drums in a professional jazz band when I'm in Ireland - and I miss that - lots of opportunity to meet people there - and the pubs aren't like UK pubs, few people get slaughtered and you can hear yourself think and talk over hte music! lol

I was in a well known youth jazz group over here before I moved to Ireland and those were the happiest days... I had loads of friends that played music with me - and a few best friends from school too... though when i moved bnack to Swansea from Ireland, I found I was too farfrom my old friends, and there were no new people that I met that i could get on with. I did join a poetry club in first year - and was really enjoying it - but the guy who runs it is a really sleazy old man and he kept coming on to me, so I gave up! I get rotten luck really

I think I'd really like to join a book club, or a jazz society, or art classes - but i am terrified of the groups of people - which is why one on one get togethers are less frightening for me. I was thinking of joining the bhuddist center up the road from me... but I doubt I'd make any real friends there. anyway - thank all!

xx

Bless you for being so open zoundz, it's one of the hardest things to make new friends. I moved 200 miles from my home town 15 years ago and worked shifts 15 miles away from where I lived. All my work colleagues lived in that area and knew no-one in my village.
I eventually plucked up the courage to go down to the local gym and found them so friendly. I made great friends with everyone & the gym owners and ended up going camping with them a couple of times a year. My confidence grew and I started to get fit too (a bonus), must admit spent more time excersising my jaw than working out when I got there.
Maybe even taking Dudley to dog obediance classes may help his distrust of others and another great place to meet like minded people.My classes only cost a pound and its amazing who you bump into.
Wish I lived nearby as I would drag you along to everywhere I went, youd never be lonely. Remember you have all of us on dogweb as your mates, not the same I know but if ever you need a chat, you know were always here!

awwwww... thank you... that's really sweet. thank you!

I will look for dog obedience classes - but the ads i've seen here they cost an absolute fortune I reall can't afford much more than a £1 a week lol! I will scout around and see what i find - I think its a really good idea - may help get dudders socialised too!

xx

Hi, I really feel for you when I have passed my driving test I would come and visit you for the day, and perhaps take the dogs out? I know Oscar would love that

Im at Uni too, just started but I find it really easy to make friends. Clubs is a good idea if you find it hard to approach people, surely there not all drinking based? Im quite lucky really as I have friends that like to go clubbing and drinking, and that you can just chill with too. Even if you dont like drinking, you could stay on the soft drinks, just get to know people better then im sure you will find what they are really like...also when your in lectures etc try to talk to people even if its just about the work. I knew no-one when I started and now I know most of my class. I know its hard but just try and push yourself to talk to them. Im here if you want a chat

Any jazz clubs in your area Zoundz? Jazz is a great way to get people together.