how to make friends and influence people...

Hey all...

I just wanted a moan ans some advice probably too. I have no friends. It's very hard to admit and makes me thoroughly miserable, but the only person i talk to on a day to day basis is Karl. I have no way of meeting people really as I also have some form of agrophobia - I can't go into roomsfull of people (i have help for Uni lectures etc - as I can't een go to them) I certainly cant go out to pubs without being inebriated - and I can't go to clubs at uni etc either. I have no real way of meeting people - and it's getting me down. i am fine if people come to visit me - as long as its not too many people at once - but no one does. I just don't know what to do - and it's really making my depression worse... stress is really affecting me right now.

xx

Just an idea, but how about finding people from Dogweb that lives near you and who you get along great with and then meet up?

That way you have talked to them first and they know why you cant go to pubs, etc. And you share the same interest. Its a win-win?

I have tried! there are a few people in south wales! but i fear, not many if any in swansea - and most people don't want to travel! lol! STAFFY! VISIT! :P.

I would love to meet some people on here - so if any of you are in my neck of the woods - please let me know!

xx

Hi Zoundz, I think you have been really brave telling us your heart, it is tough.

Is it Agoraphobia that you mean, which I guess would mean you also would be fearful of open spaces, if so then my next suggestion would be irrelevant, but it's worth a try.

Have you considered joining a hiking club in Wales, where you could meet with other members and go for walks around the place? I did this in NZ and it was really good - you don't have to go with loads of people, and you would be in the great outdoors, and it has a double advantage, not only do you get to meet new people, and see pretty places but you get exercise physically and mentally - I can honestly say it made a huge difference to me.

With the weather getting cooler sometimes there are alpine walks - please know that most clubs have walks split out into experience, so if you aren't used to a good hike there are beginner walks so to speak. And quite often members do like to organise little get togethers at each others houses which is lots of fun too, happens alot during winter

It's food for thought anyway. Big hugs to you - it's not easy but I think the first step to getting help is admitting there is a problem and then looking for a solution which you are doing - well done. If there is anything I can help with do let me know - I don't live anywhere near Wales but I'm always on the PM for sure.

xi

Well done for telling us
I don't have many friends - 2 'real' friends to be honest.
I don't go out a lot, as I don't particularly enjoy it, and I get very paranoid when I am out.

If I was closer, I would come and visit, but it's a bit of a drive unfortunately!

that's a fantastic idea - and i think i will look into it. It would be nice to take dud too - but i guess thats not allowed! lol - I will give it a try - and thank you for the support.

xx

Glad it could be of some help - perhaps there might be others at the club you could arrange private walks with, with others who have dogs too? It could be worth inquiring about?

Here's a few clubs near and in Swansea

Click here for info..

I know how you feel Zoundz. Since moving here I've gone from having lots of friends and an active social life, to no friends and becoming a serial hermit

I wish I lived closer, I'd be round every day

lol! And I'd gladly be waiting with a cuppa and a cake!

xx

Zoundz are there places that you walk dud where lots of other people walk dogs...?

My situation is a bit like like Wolfies tbh, except the once having lots of friends bit...LOL...

No seriously, I moved from a relatively small town where I would see lots of people, especially out walking the dogs...When I got my first pup I had never spoken to so many people before!! My 'quick' walks would always turn into 3hr social marathons...lol...Then we moved to the sticks and I like it better but we never hardly see a sole!!

that's why I ask if you live in an area where there are lots of others walking dogs as that I know is one of the easiest way to just start chatting to people You stand and just watch the dogs play and end up yakking for an age! and then you tend to start seeing the same people everyday like a little social network...I kinda miss that.

Well done for being brave enough to share your problem though hun It takes alot of guts to do that as others have already said.

Like Wolfie said, I'd come round too (if I can have cake aswell!)