It is very sad, both him and his Sister used to spend time at my house (they lived next door) playing with the large menagarie of animals I had in those days.

I probably have opened up a can of worms, but a forum is one of the few places in the world you can share these sort of questions if you know what I mean? And I really needed to know peoples thoughts on this one....

Yes I had to Google Paedophiles at first as I wasn't sure if it included people that had these thoughts but didn't actually act on them as it were.
I honestly can't remember anything overly unusual about the family. Their Mam used to shout a lot if I remember rightly, she seemed to have a short fuse. Seemed nice enough though. She did have an affair with the village Vicar when they were young and her and their Father subsequently divorced. A bit unusual, but how many people have parents that divorced when they were young?

Two very interesting view points, thanks for sharing.

Gee this is very complex. My last jobwas trying to rehabilitate such people - paedophiles. It's a tuffy my own personal belief is there are lots of reasons why a person chooses this route in life. Yes some, butin my experience, surprisingly few have been victims of abuse. this may be because I doo not know the whole story of the individuals I worked with but I worked with them for over 2 years on a 1 to 1 basis and also have been personally effected by the murder, at the hands of a paedophile, of a young lad I knew. I don't say that for shock tactic or sympathy but to demonstrate I have a fairly good insight (I think)

Some paedophiles do have a genuine mental illness, by that I mean they have a very low mental age with adult desires, this is a recognised condition that can be medicated and controlled, itis not an excuse for behaviour but is a reason. Though these people are, again IMO, few and far between.

The most common cause I know of and have experienced is to do with childhood, but also this in itself is not a deciding factor, but is a huge part of it

EG a young boy growing up relattively normally, his parnets split and his mum develops an alcohol, drug or social phobia problem, usually the son is between 8 and 14, he then feels the need to protect the mother thuis happens without deliberate intention, the sonspends more and more time with the mum (or in some cases the daughter spends more and more time with the dad) this is during puberty but the son can't do "normal things" as he cares, to some degree for the parent, he can't have a fumble behind the bike shed he becomes withdrawn etc etc and then the mum recovers or is hospitalised or dies (obviouslythis is over a period of years) the young adult then has no idea how to interact with other young adults and fears rejection and loss, as they have already lost the important person in their life, or at least the reliance that person had on them. They target younger people as there is less fear of rejection and more compliance plus no worry about lack of experience or ability. This is obviously not the case for every child in that given situation and thats where I am really not sure why some cross the boundry others don't.

Then there is the paedophile who's ultimate goal is ultimate power over their target. Most offenders take no responsibility for what they did and often blame the child no matter whatage the child was or is. It is such a complex area but one I have had a lot oftraining on and a fair bit of working knowledge. I will read and possibly repopost tomorrow when I havn'thad a half bottle of wine.

But I truly believe that with a few exceptions you can't spot a paedophile as by nature of there make up they are devious and manipulative and often plan and plot for years to get one "hit"

Very interesting, thanks for that. I can't imagine what it must be like to do your job.

I don't do it anymore Was way too much for me to handle.

Difficult one......but I have to say with some of the children fostered (who display) have themselves had this behaviour from a young age displayed to them. But then not all paedophiles have experienced this as some have a low mental age, with adult needs.....

For instance (true story) a 3 year old, has been in the postion of having to do ''favours'' with one parent....
comes into care and thinks that with every part of praise or disapproval feels the need to ''come and do a sexual favour'' for the Foster Carer..... Now is a young person, with some understanding of what happened to them and is working through those issues and facing towards a bright future



However (true story) a young person of 14 comes into care with a low mental age.........has input of education support and emotional care.....got to 19yrs but took a child of 4 away. (won't go into details)......but when they were looking for the child they found evidence that this person had taken them for sex. Less chance of rejection and feelings of inadequence......however there is nothing to suggest that this person had been abused as a child, he had spent his younger years with a ageing Mother who had him during the change.

So those that some might think....Oh! that one will grow up as a paedophile aren't.
It's a very very complexed area

I think people exhibit this behaviour because of some slight variation to 'normal' brain function. This could be due to a combination of factors eg how the brain is formed, chemical imbalance.

I also think childhood experiences may have an effect of some kind, but if this was the sole reason all abused children would grow up to behave this way and that is not the case.

*It has been found that a serious injury to the brain can cause deviant behaviour, Fred West had a serious head injury when young which may have had something to do with the dreadful crimes he went on to commit .

I also saw a programme a while back about a man in the USA who was married with a stepdaughter. He suddenly started to abuse the girl and to behave uncharacteristically. He was found to have a brain tumour and when it was removed he reverted to his normal self with no 'desires' for the girl which would indicate such behaviour could be connected to a problem within the brain.

I went to a couple of interesting lectures some years ago (in conjunction with voluntary work) given by a Criminal Psychologist who seemed to say pretty much the same thing.

Maybe the behaviour developed when the child reached puberty, not all children/behaviours develop at the same rate.

*
http://www.ukabif.org.uk/UKABIFrepor...ct%20sheet.htm
http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/art...?artid=1737651

Some very interesting points, I can see how brain injury could affect a persons behaviour.

This lads behaviour may have changed with the onset of puberty, but when you believe that these things are inherent in some people from day one, as I do, such adult behaviour becomes somewhat unnerving if you see what I mean?

Yes I see what you mean Rip and it can be scary if you suddenly stop and think about it.
I tend to look at deviant behaviour as being on a scale with a balance in the middle. People with 'normal desires' are on the right of the balance and on the left you have the varying degrees of deviancy from the fetishists to those who commit serious sexual crimes.
I have spoken to a number of these people on a regular basis through voluntary work (including those in prison)and felt very sad for them that they were unable to live a normal fulfilling life.

I believe in Rogerian theory: that everyone is born with a 'core self' (a soul if you like) and that tension between our core selves and our outer self leads to anxiety/stress/mental illness.

I have discussed paedophilia to some extent in college (in the context of would I be able to counsel a paedophile). At the start of my training the answer was a firm NO. I could not even be in the same room as someone like that.

I don't think that anyone is born a paedophile (or a rapist/murderer/dictator etc.). We are all shaped by our experiences and how we deal with them. I'm not excusing that behaviour - it is wrong. But, I can understand that people who are abusive have been abused themselves in some way.

On the other hand, they choose to carry on and often they think that there is nothing wrong with what they are doing.

It's that that I can't handle. The fact that people can justify it to themselves. If I had a client who was genuinely trying to work on him/herself then maybe I could work with them. But someone who thinks it is ok to abuse children? No way.