And THAT Aitch is what will get you through, like I said. That YOU and Dave, bless him, were the ones who truly cared for her right til the very, very end. Nothing was too good for your dear old Mum. I'd have loved to have met her, though I have a feeling when I meet you there will be a lot of her in you, a battler, a great sense of humour, a real trooper, bless her..... and yes I bet she is having a jolly good giggle looking down at the vultures lol.

*hugs*

Good to hear from you Helena.

They will all be interested now won't they as they have no fear of having to do any of the hard work or looking after.

Would love to be there when they realise that your Mum has spent her money in helping her to live her life comfortably as it should be that will be a whole new thread.

Love and hugs. Xx

Well that's another thing we have in common H...siblings and their greedy, greedy ways!! My brother was exactly the same.

I did enjoy our phone chat. I am always hear for you if you need an ear.
Hugs
Oh and Steph said to say that she is so sorry to hear of your mum and sends you her sympathies.

xxxx

H,

I have only just seen this, I don't even know what to say, I didn't expect to see a post like this and my eyes filled up as I read it.

Your darling mum put up one hell of a fight! And although it is you and Dave who are left behind know that she is no longer in pain, she had a nice day by the sounds of it, and just slipped away in the most peaceful way possible.

There is, as well I know, nothing that anyone can say to you right now that will ease anything you're feeling, but she's in no pain, and now you have two angels to protect and watch over you and Dave now.

You were so good to her, you really were the type of daughter the way you cared for her that dreams are made of, and eventually all that you did for her, will comfort you greatly.

Thinking of you and Dave,
With lots of love xxx

PS. Take satisfaction in writing those emails!!!!! xxx

Yes I enjoyed our lovely chat this morning Elaine as always, and you also cheered me up no end as always too, and I'm sorry I had to end it in tears xxxx

Thanks Lorna, I know how much losing your dear mum meant to you too.xxx

What a day! I can't believe I got so much done,and I could have well done without all the flack flying at me through the e-mail in box. They seem to think I'm hiding the day and time of the funeral for some bizzaire reason when I don't even know it myself yet Knowing me as you do, you will also know that I gave them a right what for in the end,and told them if they don't stop upsetting me trying to pass on their guilt over to me, then they will be dealing with my solicitor instead of me!!! Trying to tell me they have been sending cards and making phone calls, ONCE in 3 years doesn't wash with me when there's an old lady concerned!!!!

Anyways, I'm over that now. I've spoken to the Coroner who has confirmed that her doctor will be writing the cause of death form because all in all, unless I want them to do an autopsy (which I don't!) it was probably a major stroke and I was ok with that being on the certificate. I have now made an appointment with the Registrar for tomorrow morning, then I will be going to the funeral director I have chosen with the necessary forms and only then will I know what day and time he can arrange. I've changed my mind now about the small private room, I'm going to have the full works at the Crematorium because so many people are wanting to come which will be lovely, mum was very popular! Apparently, I don't need to do Probate because there are very little funds left if any, so the Will can be left for collection on another day, it'll just be a matter of going to the bank with it to close her account, so it's not important that I do that tomorrow.

I'm glad I kept busy today, and by the looks of it, tomorrow will be another busy one, and I'm going to ask that the funeral is as soon as possible for mum's sake, because when I asked where she was, she's back in Worthing Hospital now, even though she doesn't know it, and I'd like to get her all smartened up and comfortable so I can see her again before the final day, if I can do that of course, I don't know yet whether I want to or not after seeing her saturday night. Once the funeral is over I can just flake out and grieve properly coz at the moment, as per usual, it's just all go, go, go for me, but it's been like that I suppose since mum's arrival 3 years ago now! That's when I will miss her, when all this is over..... xxxxxxxx Thanks for keeping me going, especially with my added stress today!

I couldn't have said it better myself Becky. It really angers me when people come out of the woodwork after not bothering at all. Take care honey and give them all a piece of your mind the greedy b******s! xx

i am so sorry to hear you news helena. sorry i havent posted before but got limited access at the moment.

hugs and lots of love. wish i could be as patient with my mum as you were with yours

suexxxx

She timed it absolutely right then didn't she Helena? Like you say she will be having a jolly good laugh at the vultures being denied their final banquet. I am so glad she went to sleep after a happy day in her lovely room knowing she was loved and cared for.
Hope the day of the funeral goes well and there is a good turn out (which by the sounds of it there will be) don't let any nasty remarks spoil your memories. If they did send cards and e mails over the last 3 years, surely some of them would have arrived?

I can't believe how heartless people are babe, good for you for giving them what for!

As for going to see her, I hope you don't mind me saying - but I went to see my mum, quite a few times, I smartened her up, did her make up myself, and it gave me a lot of comfort, obviously thats personal to you as the last time you saw her she was well and happy, my mum died in my arms, but either way, remember the body is just a shell which keeps the soul warm.

Keep strong lovely and when it all calms down we're here for you every step of the way through the grieving,
With love always xxxx

Oh yes June, the phone call came through when they wanted to ask for a deposit for a new flat after a short visit to do the same, when I had specifically told them I didn't want my mother pestered for money because she doesn't have any and she's not well! So they waited till they got back home, then made a phone call, knowing it would be totally private from me, but then of course, I could hear mum saying in her room "but can't you get the money from the bank?" so I KNEW, and mum confirmed it when she put the phone down!!!!! Then the other phone call I had from another one was when they also needed a deposit for a flat, and that time mum was in a care home and I wasn't going to give him the number of the care home so that he could pester her for money, so I told him to write her a nice long e-mail to say what he wanted to say and I would print it off and take it to her! Needless to say, that e-mail was never forthcoming! When she came out of her care home last June, the very first thing I did was to get hold of him on my mobile and put the phone to mum's ear, but funnilly enough, he had sorted himself out by then and didn't have much to say to her, which quite surprised her! I never denied anybody access to mum, but I was darn sure, and so was she, that I wasn't going to let them suck her dry when she needed her money for future care, which she did of course and I'm so glad she had it to spend on HERSELF! As she was constantly saying, "they've had it from me all their lives, there's nothing left now" but thankfully, there was enough to keep her in luxury when she needed special care.

I am now asking her solicitor to forward them all a copy of her will so that they can see it for themselves in black and white that they're names aren't on it! Maybe that'll do the trick and they'll stop blaming me for kidnapping her! As if . A strong woman like her could not be kept as a hostage I can assure you of that, and her mind was definitely her own, not mine! Bit like Dynasty here isn't it! Lol!

Sue, thanksxxx She could be very trying at times, my tongue was very sore sometimes

Exasperating to say the least Jackie, one phone call from each of them, maybe 2, in 3 years, one Christmas card the very first year, no birthday cards whatsoever, and one visit to ask for a deposit for a flat which couldn't be done so resulted in another phone call and they want to blame me for her not answering the phone in OUR house , that's their excuse, that they would have to speak to me first! Am I that scarey then???!!!! I doubt it! Guilt has a funny way of showing itself doesn't it! I wouldn't know of course,coz I have none, nor any regrets thank God.